A Question About Relationships

I read this article today, I didn't care much for it. There is a website called "Save the Males" and sometimes it has something worth reading regarding how we, as a society, are attempting to stop men from doing manly things. I came across it and others like it because I did not like how boys were being given Ridalin at such an alarming rate. The guy is an anti-semite, in my opinion, and a lot of what he says I do not agree with. This article I did not like.

He wrote an article titled "Dumping my dream girl". I am providing a link; but, as I have already said, don't like the position he takes. He starts by talking about how he had a dream about how the girl of his dreams dumped him and he was okay with it. He then talked about a woman who called him repulsive and he chose to live with her for five year.

His conclusion was that men are brainwashed into believing that sex and love are the most important thing in the world. He then says that women are to be help mates, not soul mates. He finishes by talking about what a supporter of marriage and family he is. Sorry guys, I got a problem with everything he said.

I look around and see how popular his beliefs are and it disgusts me. I think we should break this down. We are self aware sentient beings, you have heard me say that before. We live and we die, we have the opportunity to learn from each other, help each other and share with each other. That is the greatest joy of all. When you die you don't think about the toys you had, the certificates, the sex, the cars, you think about the relationships you had and your loved ones.

I have gay friends, when I first meet them they often ask if I as a Christian believe homosexuality is a sin, I always say yes and than list out all the sins I commit, like lust (my personal favorite). I explain that there is no priority list of sins, sin is anything that falls short of perfection. They then ask why I believe homosexuality is a sin and I say because it is not perfection of union. And as I have said before, I don't care if the "government" allows gay marriage, it is just a contract, we should be allowed to make the agreements we wish. I may seem to be contradicting myself; but, I am not. I would not outlaw all sin and I don't know how to outlaw lust.

I believe we were made man and woman and I know how reproduction works, it is our genetic makeup. There are gay animals, they are not the ones continuing the gene pool. I don't want to know what people do in their bed unless someone is being forced or incapable of understanding what is occurring. There is a lot of nasty stuff heterosexuals do in bed that I simply don't want to know or see. I don't limit it to the nasty stuff, I don't want to know how you make love even if you are straight. I just don't want to know.

I don't care if people come out of the closet, stay in the closet, build a closet or even dress up like a closet. I don't care and it is not necessary to tell me. I won't ask. If you tell me I may ask why you like whatever you like. I don't understand foot fetishes, I have tried and still don't get it. If someone told me they had one, I wouldn't ask what they do with the foot, I would ask why it fascinated them (and I do want to know so leave comments if you have a foot fetish).

I didn't want to talk about the gay thing again; but, I had to get it out in the open to move on to what I did want to talk about, that special relationship we can have with the opposite sex and why it is the most important thing in the world. My ex was capable of doing some nice things, she wasn't all bad until the end. She was selfish and had found a new cookie and didn't care what it cost to get the new shiny cookie, that is when people are at their worst. That does not happen when we are with partners.

People talk about finding their soul mate, I don't like the term it is still just about sex and fun. I believe we have soul partners, the person who can work with us better than anyone else and every moment is a joy, win, lose or draw. I have seen that, my sister has that, she says they each married their best friend. I like that. True friends with benefits, the friendship is more important.

My best female friend in the world thrills me everytime we get together. We are perfect business partners and she is lovely. We both got cheated on at the same time and made each other laugh, she is part of my heart. We have gone out together, yet, never on a date. We love each other; but, know that we are not meant to be a couple. Not every woman you like is meant to be your life partner.

The article assumes that there are opposite sexes so that we can have sex, he gets it all wrong. It is not about sex, it is about relationship. Women don't think like men and men don't think like women and that doesn't change just because you have a sex change operation, it is not about body parts. Now here is the truth, women who want to become men and men who want to become women DON'T want to think like the sex they wish to become. They are instead focused on the body parts, none go to therapists asking to think like the sex they wish to become. Think about it.

Transgenders are a rejection of either the sex they are. It is usually because of rejection and abuse, they are turned away from being like their father is what I have most often heard. I know more gay men than lesbians, though I have known them also. Most homosexuals do not wish to be transgendered, that is a big leap, to reject your own body, to reject being your nature and that is the point.

Our nature is to be a man and a woman. Our sheeple choice is to be any man and woman, to look at the body and the sex rather than the soul and the ability to have a healthy relationship. I guess that brings us to what can be special between a man and a woman.

Imagine men and women at their best, we can be that with each other. Men can be good providers and learn to manage their emotions. Women can be good partners and learn to manage their emotions. Two adults, male and female created the families and institutions that allowed the world to grow. IT IS ABOUT THE FAMILY UNIT, that is the best we can be. Don't look to failed relationships, look to the best relationships if you want to know what we can have and then ask why they worked, why are we attempting to deal with failure rather than duplicate success.

When talking about relationships why are we as a society so focused on SEX. Yeah, I have had it and it is nice, I actually rather enjoy it. That is not a relationship. It is an action that can be part of a relationship; but, to be successful the other parts must be there first. How bout trust, would you sleep with someone you did not trust? People do. How bout understanding, try having a relationship with someone who doesn't understand what you think.

You build a relationship around everything other than sex and then sex becomes a benefit, a real benefit, a joyous experience that you share with the person who is your partner, the most important relationship in you life. It is not a responsibility, it is in your soul, it is your being.

I will not believe that we do not have soul partners, I cannot. I question what we need to do to be ready to be with them. In order to be partners, both parties should have advanced in certain areas so that they can become whole and compliment each other. The best relationships, the one's we should attempt to emulate, were based on true affection and providing strength and understanding to each other, holding up each other, sharing failure and celebrating success as a couple, as one.

The author of the article I linked to does not believe in love, I doubt he even understands what it is or what the best type of relationship can do for you, how it can change the world. He wasn't ready for a good relationship and didn't seek one, he sought a hot looking woman who would serve him, he is a jerk.

My business partner, my female best friend. She is the owner of the company and I refuse to sign any papers with her, yet, I am a partner. I correct her and sometimes often in one conversation, I taught her business. She, on the other hand, knew how to organize things by tiny details so that I could process the information. She is brilliant and we are one very dangerous team. I love her with all my heart, sex could only screw that up. That is a great relationship and great partner; but, not a soul partner. We were not right for sex, the least important part; but, the part that proves the couple. You can have good sex with the wrong person; but, you can only have perfect sex with the right partner because it isn't about the sex, it is about pleasing your soul partner.

The worst I have ever been treated was for asking people that if they found their soul mate and their soul mate said that they wanted to wait until they were married to have sex then would they be celibate until then, to be with their soul mate. The answer was a resounding and obscene "NO". They did not wish to accept that they might have a soul mate worth waiting for. That is sad, I made that mistake too. Wait. A bad relationship is worse than none.

People ask me if I will get married again. I say I may or I may not; but, I will not marry anyone who is not my soul partner, my last and only love. I stopped dating for a reason, I believe in love, not in test driving everything you see. I finally believe that love can be unlike anything else, I have not given up on love, now I believe in it because I have seen less.

It is easy to be ready for sex, it is hard to be ready for love. Ask yourself what it takes, I will give my answer, actually I think I did. Misunderstanding is the beginning of every relationship that works. It is when we don't quite understand how the other person can even exist, it is the shock we feel when we know they are too perfect to be real, that they compliment us completely and that we can still grow together, you only get one. If you are never going to be ready than you never get to meet them and certainly never get to be with them, that would violate the rules of eternity.

Valentine's day is coming up, I hope you are with your soul partner, if you are not then I hope that someday you are. Valentine's Day is not about celebrating the female in the relationship, it is about celebrating the relationship, if you do not feel it is a relationship, don't celebrate it. If you do feel it is a relationship then celebrate it. You will know the difference, if it is a relationship then your woman will celebrate it rather than try and figure out what you gave her. Be well.