Drat

I am known to be a problem solver, people just expect it from me. My children thought I could fix my marriage, I could not, if I could have I would have. Problem is the only one who could have fixed my marriage was God and it was not right to fix, it would have meant no free will for the ex. That is not right. She was committed to what she did and should have been free to have free will even if she exercised it wrongly.

Free will means that we have to allow people to do dumb things, to do wrong things, to do right things, to do brilliant things. It means they get to choose what they do and if they do and ignore the cookies, do it because it is right, they win.

Heart - Mistral Wind

The last couple of days have been hard on me, I have not been happy. I have never cared much for life and still don't, I do believe in existance, it is just this world that I don't care for. A lot of people don't like it when I say that; but, it is how I feel and what I think.

I understand why people chase cookies, the world is not a pleasant place, in fact it sucks. I understand why people commit suicide, this place sucks. I disagree with both, our job is to help one another, not receive cookies and pats on the back. This life here is a fight and a fight to the death or existance, I am always down for that. Life is about proving that you have earned determining who you are to the extent you can. Sometimes that involves going to new places.

I don't like certain types of change, I don't like core changes or home changes or family changes or fundamental changes. When we are children we learn change, we learn to learn. We learn that life is not a game and we make a choice, to go after all the fun or go after being ourselves and pain. The worst choice is the third, to try and avoid pain, that is impossible. All or nothing and nothing is the better choice. Be well and stay stange.