Still Trying to Find Peace

As my longtime readers know, I am divorced, dated for a bit and stopped. A wonderful lady who works in my building and is a regular reader of this blog was joking with me today, she mentioned that she knew I was getting better and commented on how nice I looked in my new suit. It made me feel good and reminded me that I still have a bit to go before I am ready to re-engage in dating or even figuring out where I want to go or what I want to do.

It is only the last few months that I have begun to really heal through all that I have been through. Losing my house and acquiring all of the ex's debt have left me in a sort of good limbo. I am chipping away rather well at the debt (haven't used a credit card myself in over two years) and am forced to take time to myself. I like that, I am beginning to re-establish myself and bringing my wardrobe and possessions back to an adequate state. The time to myself is allowing me to figure out where I want to go, to rediscover me and I know it will take some more time.

A couple of years back I drove up to Portland to meet some friends and be social. I drove rather than fly because I wanted the head time, the time alone to process my life and think, I needed quiet for that and it began the healing process. I am still healing and allowing all the old pressures to seep away, a cleansing period. "Out with the old and in with the new", so to speak.

For my friends, I continue to get better. I move my life forward in phases. Currently, I am still working on me and catching my breath. To everything there is a time, a time to rest and a time to heal and I heal the best when I have periods of solitude. I am not ready to take on any more than I have, it is time to take on less. A time to heal and I am doing it and it feels great.

I am sitting here in my apartment, having a cigarette and sipping a glass of wine while listening to music and reading articles, this is good for me. I am getting better. To the lovely lady that told me how nice I looked in my new suit, it always makes a man feel good when a lady says that he looks good. We appreciate the kind words of ladies, we trust in them.

I believe that a true lady brings the best out of true men. I have known many ladies and I am always on my best around them. To be a lady in this day and age is pretty hard. What is the best example of young ladies out there today, there are none. Oh, they let a few sneak in and then they destroy them. Imagine how men would act differently if all young ladies acted in that manner. Gentlemen, I have already asked the same of you.

When a lady speaks to a man or a man speaks to a lady, there is something already present. Respect, it is earned, it is earned because the amount of joy we feel in another persons appreciation is in response to the respect that we have for the person. Being a lady or a gentleman is related to our ability to control our actions and keep them within acceptable limits. Okay, I lost my point. I am also trying to catch up to things that I wrote on another website. Hey, I was on jury duty for three weeks straight and all day.

Here is what I think I was talking about, it is nice to not have fewer responsibilities, it is nice to rest and heal and I am doing so and plan to keep doing so until I am ready. I still appreciate ladies and activities; but, I am enjoying the fun of nothing. I do hope my friends know that all is good. Be well.