Friday, August 13, 2010
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A Sad Call
Today has been interesting. I will skip most of what has gone on. I cannot remember, I just received a call from one of my most wonderful loved ones. She is a lady who lives in Portland and has a heart of gold. The good kind, strong and still sweet. She told me that someone we both know is terminal.
The lady who is terminal never smoked, a health freak. She got lung cancer and it spread throughout her body. I remember why she didn't smoke, someone she loved died from it and did smoke. I smoke and my doctors are always frustrated because my lungs are fine.
The lady who is dying and I had a odd relationship. We only ever met online, she is smart and tricky. I enjoy both. She took umbrage with me, not hard to understand. LOL. I can be quite annoying. She also was very helpful to many people and thought about her position. I cried when I heard she was dying in such a way. We all live the human experience and die; sometimes it is a hard death.
At one time, we had discussed getting together, just to meet. I am thinking I may need to go to the Southeast and do so before she dies. Not to discuss any problems we had, to discuss how she helped others. I may instead write her, she may not wish to meet me or be around anyone other than family. People should be given their choices, especially when they are leaving.
I used to ask a question. The question was, "If you knew you only had 24 hours left before you died, what would you do?" I was a gearhead, I raced cars. Gearheads always give the same answer. Get a very fast car, drive it to it's limits and go head first into a wall. Hey, that is the answer for gearheads. Over the years my answer has changed.
Today, if I knew I only had 24 hours to live, I would spend it in quiet conversation with loved ones saying goodbye. Death holds absolutely no fear for me, I welcome it when it's time comes. Pain, on the other hand, is still an annoyance. The pain of cancer is great. The lady who is dying did some manipulative things with me, I cannot wish her the type of ill that cancer brings because I believe she did me wrong, many have. She is a brilliant soul that made her own way and took her own consequences, courage is always admirable.
How can we hate a terrorist who is willing to give their own life because of what they believe and then honor our own soldiers who give their lives. Neither chose the war. It can never be about being right, it has to always be about making things better or we always lose.
Dying from cancer is a miserable experience. I wish it on nobody. My ex's father is dying from diabetes, or so I have been told. I don't wish him that pain. If the ex was dying, I would not wish such pain. It is okay to be angry over the pain others have caused us, it is not okay to wish them ill. The young lady who is dying and I have no issues, I don't. I wish her comfort, I pray for her comfort. I don't have to, I choose to because life is just a series of mistakes and lessons to be learned.
The lady who is terminal never smoked, a health freak. She got lung cancer and it spread throughout her body. I remember why she didn't smoke, someone she loved died from it and did smoke. I smoke and my doctors are always frustrated because my lungs are fine.
The lady who is dying and I had a odd relationship. We only ever met online, she is smart and tricky. I enjoy both. She took umbrage with me, not hard to understand. LOL. I can be quite annoying. She also was very helpful to many people and thought about her position. I cried when I heard she was dying in such a way. We all live the human experience and die; sometimes it is a hard death.
At one time, we had discussed getting together, just to meet. I am thinking I may need to go to the Southeast and do so before she dies. Not to discuss any problems we had, to discuss how she helped others. I may instead write her, she may not wish to meet me or be around anyone other than family. People should be given their choices, especially when they are leaving.
I used to ask a question. The question was, "If you knew you only had 24 hours left before you died, what would you do?" I was a gearhead, I raced cars. Gearheads always give the same answer. Get a very fast car, drive it to it's limits and go head first into a wall. Hey, that is the answer for gearheads. Over the years my answer has changed.
Today, if I knew I only had 24 hours to live, I would spend it in quiet conversation with loved ones saying goodbye. Death holds absolutely no fear for me, I welcome it when it's time comes. Pain, on the other hand, is still an annoyance. The pain of cancer is great. The lady who is dying did some manipulative things with me, I cannot wish her the type of ill that cancer brings because I believe she did me wrong, many have. She is a brilliant soul that made her own way and took her own consequences, courage is always admirable.
How can we hate a terrorist who is willing to give their own life because of what they believe and then honor our own soldiers who give their lives. Neither chose the war. It can never be about being right, it has to always be about making things better or we always lose.
Dying from cancer is a miserable experience. I wish it on nobody. My ex's father is dying from diabetes, or so I have been told. I don't wish him that pain. If the ex was dying, I would not wish such pain. It is okay to be angry over the pain others have caused us, it is not okay to wish them ill. The young lady who is dying and I have no issues, I don't. I wish her comfort, I pray for her comfort. I don't have to, I choose to because life is just a series of mistakes and lessons to be learned.
Purity is Bad
You have to love the title. Purity, we are generally taught that we should seek purity, I disagree. Purity is the lowest form of existence. Let us consider what the word means, it means something is simple. All truly useful things are impure.
Gold, in it's purist form is useless. Gold in it's purist form is weak and is not a very good metal. Steal on the other hand is very useful. The things that are the most useful in this world are combinations of different materials. A potato tastes good; but, put it in a stew and it tastes even better.
Pure emotions are also bad. Pure anger or pure love are unthinking. For emotions to be managed so that we meet the higher calling of working together we must have combinations of emotions. Purity is not the absence of filth, it is the absence of everything other than oneself. Purity is boring. We can combine things and make new and exciting things, better things. We make mistakes along the way and that is the surprise we call life.
I like hamburgers; but, come on, add some bacon and some cheese, some tomato and a pickle. That is a better burger. Lets not forget some Worcestershire sauce and garlic in the meat and some ketchup. Most of our problems come from purity, a lack of depth. When we become single minded we screw up everything because others cease to matter.
There are some that claim to seek purity of race, they have done some pretty rotten things. The Nazis loved racial purity and were so set on it that they proceeded to kill those who were not the same as them. Narcissists like purity, they want everyone to be just like them. Many of us can only accept others having the same shortcomings as us, they are not entitled to have their own.
I don't have a big problem with people who are gay, it is just that I could never be, I like the difference that a woman's body has from mine. I know what a male body is and how it feels, being a man it is hard not to know. I like the fact that a woman smells and feels and looks different then me, it is always a nice surprise and I can never know it fully.
Purity is boring. Variations are risky; but, oh what possibilities await. The royal families used to only marry each other, this led to inbreeding and caused hemophilia in many of the men. Those of mixed races tend to be the healthiest, they get the best of both worlds often.
How we grow is by learning to be impure, managing our mix of emotions and choosing how we will deal with them. A great chef must likewise learn to mix ingredients well, the proper mixtures are infinite and delicious. An eternity of purity would be hell.
I have spoken before about outliers, those ingredients that don't seem to make sense, they don't really fit in with anything. Outliers are catalysts for new combinations. When it is time to try something different, you need something different.
I seem to recall that hydrogen is the purest element. Hydrogen is colorless, odorless, nonmetallic and tasteless. It is pure. Pretty boring and fairly useless, in fact if present it can mess up the making of metals.
If we love difference, we love others. If we love sameness, we love ourselves. Pure and good do not mean the same thing. Good means a positive influence, pure means single. Good means to overcome evil, if the world were pure there would be nothing to overcome and therefore no good, no evil, just boredom.
Gold, in it's purist form is useless. Gold in it's purist form is weak and is not a very good metal. Steal on the other hand is very useful. The things that are the most useful in this world are combinations of different materials. A potato tastes good; but, put it in a stew and it tastes even better.
Pure emotions are also bad. Pure anger or pure love are unthinking. For emotions to be managed so that we meet the higher calling of working together we must have combinations of emotions. Purity is not the absence of filth, it is the absence of everything other than oneself. Purity is boring. We can combine things and make new and exciting things, better things. We make mistakes along the way and that is the surprise we call life.
I like hamburgers; but, come on, add some bacon and some cheese, some tomato and a pickle. That is a better burger. Lets not forget some Worcestershire sauce and garlic in the meat and some ketchup. Most of our problems come from purity, a lack of depth. When we become single minded we screw up everything because others cease to matter.
There are some that claim to seek purity of race, they have done some pretty rotten things. The Nazis loved racial purity and were so set on it that they proceeded to kill those who were not the same as them. Narcissists like purity, they want everyone to be just like them. Many of us can only accept others having the same shortcomings as us, they are not entitled to have their own.
I don't have a big problem with people who are gay, it is just that I could never be, I like the difference that a woman's body has from mine. I know what a male body is and how it feels, being a man it is hard not to know. I like the fact that a woman smells and feels and looks different then me, it is always a nice surprise and I can never know it fully.
Purity is boring. Variations are risky; but, oh what possibilities await. The royal families used to only marry each other, this led to inbreeding and caused hemophilia in many of the men. Those of mixed races tend to be the healthiest, they get the best of both worlds often.
How we grow is by learning to be impure, managing our mix of emotions and choosing how we will deal with them. A great chef must likewise learn to mix ingredients well, the proper mixtures are infinite and delicious. An eternity of purity would be hell.
I have spoken before about outliers, those ingredients that don't seem to make sense, they don't really fit in with anything. Outliers are catalysts for new combinations. When it is time to try something different, you need something different.
I seem to recall that hydrogen is the purest element. Hydrogen is colorless, odorless, nonmetallic and tasteless. It is pure. Pretty boring and fairly useless, in fact if present it can mess up the making of metals.
If we love difference, we love others. If we love sameness, we love ourselves. Pure and good do not mean the same thing. Good means a positive influence, pure means single. Good means to overcome evil, if the world were pure there would be nothing to overcome and therefore no good, no evil, just boredom.
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