I Fall Quiet

I think I shall be silent for a little bit, I think I will take a week or two off from writing, unless I see something important for my dear readers. Helping my ex and being contacted by Pastor Daniels family has really got me thinking.

This blog has always been a very casual affair, me reading the news, finding something that matters to me and writing about it. My thoughts on a thing to people who knew nothing about me or what I was talking about, you know, news. I don't think about what I am writing, I write as I think it. I also write very quickly. I never really thought about effecting someone personally. It makes me think about how important it is that I be more careful with what I write.

This blog is never meant to cause anyone pain, there is enough of that in the world without me contributing. I might get direct and I might talk about corruption; but, I am a commentator and a pacifist. Heck, I preach on the weekends. I have to think about all of this. If I am to continue blogging, I should consider that I might talk about things that could cause pain to others and I don't wish to do that.

When I talk to someone that I know, I have a pretty good understanding if a remote news story effected them personally and know to consider what I am saying to them. I had a friend in high school whose father was well known, he was killed and it made the international news, I knew not to bring the issue up. The internet is random and people you talk about may read it even if it is not intended for them. I don't know hot to be free with my words if I do not know who will read them. I knew who would read the early versions of this blog. It had a targeted audience.

You know, I said I would tell Stephen Hawking to his face that he was a douche bag, I would if pushed; but, I would rather have a real conversation with him. I would much rather debate the essence of matter and time with him than insult him. That personal contact changes how we deal with one another. We are all just people, like I said, "You matter".

I want to be clear, anyone who comes to this blog matters and so does everyone who never comes here. We all matter and we should treat ourselves as if we all did. I need to think about my blog and writing so that, that is always on my mind when I write; but, I also have to make sure that I address what needs to be addressed or I am useless.

I will come back dear readers and I will explain my thinking. I really need to think about these things as I effect others more than I had intended. I much prefer a target audience and that is not the internet. I do not like collateral damage. I am autistic, I think autistic, I think what I think, no filters, the truth is.

I look at a crime scene like my daddy taught me, no emotion, no nice, clinical, no emotional concern over the victim, concern over the outcome and catching them. That is all I know. I thought that I had gotten better; but, regret that I have not. I can still turn the switch on and off. When I write, the switch is off, I say what I mean and I mean what I say, not filter; but, maybe there should be.

This blog was meant to play with people who sought to impact my reality, that was it. I had a target audience. I called them out and played with them. I never meant to be anything more than that. I need to think about this.