The answer is 42

Douglass Adams was the author of a series of books known as "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" trilogy (although there were four of them). In the books a supercomputer attempts to answer the question of the meaning of life, you know the answer is 42.

Well it is over 100 degrees out and rather than go out, I will sit here and write about that question. What is the purpose of life? Is it to be successful, to experience as much pleasure as possible, to have as many different experiences as possible, to help others, to "grow" spiritually? Those are all options that some people try, I don't think they are destinations in and of themselves.

We are sentient beings, our basic nature is awareness and emotion. Our awareness is fulfilled by learning. We learn through experience, observation and contemplation. As we are emotional beings we seek joy. We decide what we find joy in. Some find joy in pleasure, some in success, some in achievement, some in acquisition, joy can be associated with anything. When the joy is compulsive or obsessive it is a fetish.

In the end the best joy is joy shared. Seeking to hoard joy, to not share it is a form of narcissism. Christians are told not to hide their light; but, instead to share it. Buddha said, "Happiness never decreases by being shared". The focus of the spiritual is on sharing. The gnostics and mystery schools believe that the purpose of life is self-centered, not selfish. The difference is focusing on personal growth rather than shared growth.

I have had a couple of dozen friends and family die in the past six years or so. What they left behind is what they shared, the concern, love, confusion and the working through things. Life, to me, is about working through things with others. Sometimes others do not wish to work through things, that is the way life is. Relationship is about becoming closer by working things through, those things are negotiated, if forced there is no relationship, only duress.

So my answer is that life is about relationship. In our lives we have many relationships, each imperfect as we are imperfect. I would say our purpose is to find the best relationship that we can while having as many positive ones as we can with others.

We used to attempt to organize society around promoting positive personal relationships. We don't seem to do that anymore. We now organize society around the pursuit of selfish pleasures. That led us to where we are. Relationships are no longer valued as they were.

Throughout history the main driving force in people's lives was to develop close intimate relationships, the family was the center of people's lives rather than personal gain. That is what has changed, it really began coming apart in the 70s with the Woman's Rights movement. This is not about equal rights, it is about a tone that was set. I lived in those times and saw what happened.

During the 70s women were being told that having children and a family was slavery, they were told that they were second class citizens because they were kept out of the workforce. They were told that life was about being able to have a career. It was complete garbage. Equal pay makes sense, fairness makes sense, thinking that being a wife and mother was slavery was the lie.

When women entered the workforce in growing numbers the vast majority did not get careers, they got jobs. They lost their control over their time and the joy that comes with raising a family. Abortion became popular rather than motherhood. This is not about the woman's rights movement, it is about our changing perspective on what life is about. For the first time in history people began to decide that having a family was not worthwhile, not a thing to be sought.

They do surveys asking people what their priorities are and fewer and fewer are saying that there number one priority is having a family, it used to be the center of our lives. The alarming rate of teenage pregnancy is not about having a family, it is about having a baby rather than about the baby. Most of these young mothers are not married and don't get married.

We are perverting our nature, our human nature. We have turned from relationship to pleasure. Our societal focus ensures that we achieve neither. When you die you do not miss your playstation. Imagine dying without ever having had a sharing relationship, how lonely that would be. We cannot be satisfied without developing intimate relationships, emotional sharing.

In case you haven't noticed, I have been posting towards this point for the last week. What then is an intimate relationship, notice I did not say healthy. Healthy implies that we only deal with people who make US better, I am talking about a relationship focused on both parties, intimate. It can be assumed that consensual intimate relationships are by their very nature healthy.

Intimate relationships occur when both parties share their truth and their love. Each person's truth will be slightly different or vastly different. The internet provides an opportunity to share with all types of people; but, too often we see attacks on differences. The anonymity leads people to vent biases rather than seek understanding. It also seems to often that people act as if they were someone else, that "perfect" person who is never wrong.

If you have followed this blog for any amount of time, I hope you will understand that I am not attempting to "State the truth", I don't know the truth, I only know my truth, what I have learned and I usually write about things I am trying to figure out rather than things I "know". But, as we write our thoughts down they can appear to be statements of facts. It is the nature of writing opinions because it is a one way conversation, that is why I appreciate comments.

The best relationships are in person and have a give and take, questions and answers and opinions and thoughts and emotions, they involve an ever increasing understanding of one another. I think therefore I blog; but, the vast majority of my day involves interaction with numerous people. I am astounded at the variety of people I know and people around me are surprised.

There is one lady who is a friend of mine that used to work with me. We stay in contact and every now and then she will come to the office. She did not have a very high position and I do. She tells me that people are shocked that her and I are friends because of my position. Socially we are completely different; but, personally we just have fun discussing things. We shared our divorces pain as they occurred under similar circumstances and we shared our joys at each others endeavors. She is one of my most intimate friends and we never dated or wanted to, it wasn't about that it was about sharing similar interests. Because we are so different we share perspectives and understandings that we would not otherwise be exposed to, it is always exciting.

I think my brain stopped, it is still hot. I think I might just get something to eat. Be well and have a great week.