Burquas and Mickey Mouse

Okay, a Disneyland employee who is Muslim wanted to wear a Muslim head scarf. I know that I said before that I was outraged that European countries wanted to outlaw certain clothes that Muslim women wear. If you expect me to take the same position on Disneyland you would be wrong.

I want to remind you that the media is leading to the answers that it wants and this why the reporting is timed the way it is. If you go to work for Disneyland you are told that you are all actors playing a role. If you don't want to wear the costume, don't take the job. Disneyland has costumes, not a dress code, costumes.

If I choose to join a company that has a requirement for my position, I choose to follow the dress code TO A DEGREE. Some jobs require the wearing of uniforms, this can be for many valid reasons. I want to know that the man who is coming to my house works for the gas company before he goes in my backyard. If I go to McDonalds or another place that makes food I want to know that the food is clean and healthy. Uniforms show when they are stained for a reason.

Uniforms should not be required at school because we are FORCED to go there up till a certain age. Private schools are different, it is voluntary (your parents have choice). Most jobs that indoors don't really need you to have a certain look unless you deal with the public.

I am an executive and rarely wear a tie. I don't often meet with the public. I wear a suit and keep ties in my office in case I have to go before elected officials or meet with the public. Clothes can serve many purposes. Sometimes they tell a story.

I know a very wealthy man with whom I do business. When I meet with him it is usually at a restaurant or his office. When I do meet with him I have to drive quite a distance and don't usually go to the office. On those days I wear a Hawaiian shirt, khakis and tennis shoes. He also dresses casually. Our dress signifies that we are being casual and open with one another.

On one occasion he had failed to meet a personal promise, it was a handshake deal that was to be formalized between our organizations at a later date. It did not matter, he broke his word. We had an agreement, not a contract. The agreement was between him and I, the contract was to be between our organizations. He had three choices and I said I would support any of them, no pressure. He picked. Because he picked I began adjusting my organizations position. When he changed his mind he had wasted my time, broke a trust and failed to remember that my word is my bond.

For a series of reasons he concluded that the original agreement was best for all. I believed the original agreement was best for all; but, I had a dilemma, I could not trust his word as much. He asked to meet and for me to consider going back to the original agreement. I told my assistant that I was going to wear a suit on that day and that it would be the first thing that the man would ask about. I explained to my assistant the reason behind my clothing and how it can help to say things without forcing people into taking a position.

My assistant, who reads this, thought I was wrong and was making too much up of something simple. We arrived at the man's office and the first words out of his mouth was to ask about my wearing the suit. Real business deals are made between two people in a casual setting, golf course, tennis court, restaurant, whatever. They are made in a casual setting because it lets the negotiations be casual and not place people in positions that cause animosity or all or nothing thinking.

I cannot go golfing with businessmen, I work for the government. Because of this I have to convey a sense of casualness in other ways, I do it with my clothing. I have given away a secret, oh my. Even though I work for the government, private industry has always appreciated my directness and willingness to stick by my word and be fair. I have been offered many jobs in private industry because of this. Everyone knows I will do what is best for my organization, my home, my City. I have never taken the jobs.

I have a call center under me. I don't care what they wear as long as it is not provocative. They sit in little cubicles answering calls all day, they are not seen by the public. We are looking at when dress codes are appropriate, how about when they have a reasonable purpose? What a thought. How bout not when I am forced to be in a situation? I am not forced to be in jail, that requires some action on my part.

The young boy, that I used to call my son-in-law until he corrected me, has tattoos and piercings. He worked at a bank. He wore clothes that allowed him to hide most, if not all, of his tattoos and removed his piercings during his working hours. I do not like tattoos or piercings; but, believe in his right to have them. I would not hire an assistant who had them.

I was Navy ROTC and Coast Guard certified by 13. I love Polynesia, it has always been special in my heart. I especially have had a love affair with Tahiti. I fell in love with the paintings of Gauguin. I studied Polynesia, my professor wanted me to become "the expert"; but, it was from love not a career. When I had traveled half the world I got a earring in my right ear. It was in recognition of having traveled half the world, no longer a polliwog.

The man I spoke about earlier who is very rich, he is old school and has over a thousand people who owe their jobs to him. He is accustomed to saying what he thinks and discussing with his employees their dress code. I do not work for him. I am very traditional in many ways, personal ways. When I came back from Hawaii, where I got my piercing the old fashioned way, the people who knew me were shocked. It was just a small gold ball; but, they figured I was trying to be younger because they did not understand my background.

Well, I met with the man who I spoke of and while we were talking he just kept turning to look at my left ear (right ear piercings have traditionally meant homosexual, left ear piercings were navy). I eventually removed my earring for religious beliefs. If not for my religious beliefs I would get old school Polynesian tattoos on my legs, that will surprise many people who know me. I would have it done the traditional way in Tahiti, it would take a month and hurt more than you can imagine. You might want to look it up.

You cannot have certain jobs in the military or intelligence if you have tattoos because they identify you. When the police arrest you, they photograph any tattoos for a reason. They also photograph scars. I do not have many scars, I heal very well. I have one and only one that will not go away. It is in the middle of my forehead where your "third eye" should be, where East Indians put the dot, I have had it since I was about four. I split my head open after being pushed down a hill into a brick column, square brick column and hit the corner. It looks like a tiny dimple at 50, it used to look like a five sided star.

We were talking about why I wouldn't hire an assistant who had tattoos or piercings. That is easy, because it gives away what you are thinking. When I meet someone in a business setting, we need time to trust each other, to develop our relationship. In Poker, we look for "tells", little movements that say what you have in your hand. Same thing in negotiations. I have many people that work for me; but, I only ever have one "assistant". It is the person who is allowed to go to negotiations with me. There are rules. Rule one is don't talk until we know we are on the same page. Tattoos are talking. When I wear a Hawaiian shirt to a negotiation, I am talking, when I wear a suit, I am talking.

I began by talking about Disneyland and ended up discussing my assistant, it all goes together. It is okay to have religious beliefs, it is okay to wear all kinds of clothes, it is okay to get tattoos if it is not against your beliefs; but, for all these choices come consequences. Sometimes they are appropriate, other times they are not. We should look beyond the obvious to the reasons. Are the reasons compelling or merely convenience? That is important. Be well, I hope you enjoyed this little post. First time I have felt it flow in a bit. Thanks for the opportunity to be heard.

Sorry, quick UPDATE. I have to thank my ex-wife for something. She was the one who taught me about clothes. She told me that men get angry and get in a fight, women, she said, figure out what they are going to wear and how to set the scene. She was naked and had just come out of the shower when she said she wanted a divorce. She never looked at me, she looked in the mirror, it was as I was leaving for work. Can you figure out what she was attempting to say, she was the one that taught me. She said it right after I kissed the back of her neck to head to work.