An Odd Feeling

Since the divorce my house has been headed for foreclosure. I am okay with that. It now appears that it will happen within the next two months. I feel sort of strange knowing this. I mean I knew it was coming and it has to, it is just the finality of it.

In a way, it is the final door to close on my old life. When my ex-wife decided to have her little affair I do not believe she had a clue as to where it would lead for all of us. She did not believe her unilateral decision would result in her life changing completely and did not care that it would change the lives of the family as much as it did and continues to.

I am ready to move, I am ready to stop the four hour a day commute. I am ready to start my new life, one where I actually think about myself. When the house is gone, my new life starts. It will surprise many that they do not come along. I will be creating a new life for my self, I must. I do not grieve the loss of the old life, I have done that already. People made their choices and can now live with them.

I have developed many relationships with people where I live over the last 19 years. Those relationships will come to an end for many. I will have to create new relationships wherever I move to. I am beginning to say goodbye.

What will the future hold for me, I don't know exactly. Starting over but no internal direction. Mistral Wind.

I got on the plane and took my seat. We sat in first class. The plane took off and I left my life behind, my friends, my world. The plane was in the air and it was not to take me back. I put on the headset and listened to Billy Joel sing "Movin Out". He was headed in the opposite direction, I was headed to Boston. It was a long flight with much to think about.

When we landed in Boston my uncle picked us up and drove us to a hotel. Two months in a hotel room. Two months eating at the same restaurant. Two months of nothing but time to think about what was lost.