Comment to the last post

One of my readers took offense to my last post. I posted their comment and responded. This post is not about the issue they raised although that will be the example used. The issue will be about the blog and about conversation in general.

This blog is not meant to be the final word on anything, it is not meant to be a learned treatise. It is my way of looking at issues that I see around me. Sometimes I am looking at one aspect of an issue. When that occurs it often because of a more personal perspective rather than attempting to see all aspects of an issue.

While it surprises me, there are people who read this blog that don't know me at all and others who are close friends and know quite a lot about me. It is hard to write to all audiences and be understood. Each reader will take from my posts what they will. In the end it is still just things I am thinking from my experience and my research. Thoughts not conclusions, works in progress.

Communication, be it through a blog or in person, is often difficult. I had a friend who used to say that communication is impossible. I disagree, it is a process and our words should continually be refined during that process so that we can have a clearer understanding of what we are attempting to convey to each other.

I intentionally request people to comment. It allows me to consider things that I might not have. The problem with blogging is that there is a long time delay between I write something and when people read it, it can be months later. Lost in that time can be context, lost in all my posts is the readers ability to see my context at the time I write it, what drives me to raise an issue, why it is on my mind and why.

I attempt to have a relationship with my readers. Like all relationships there is a give and take, there is imperfect communication. If a reader finds something I have written is insufficient then I welcome their comments and questions. If someone finds what I write to be offensive, I still welcome their comments. I have refused one comment because it used names. I refused another comment because I do not allow cuss words on my blog.

I do not know most of the readers and many have never left comments. I do not know who reads this blog in South Korea, I do not know who reads it in the Ukraine. I can only imagine that they must find some of what I write to be difficult to understand where I am coming from, I am still glad that they read it. They can take from it what they wish and they can question me on anything. I reserve the right to respond as I see fit.

Now I will return to the example of my last post. I used an example of people I knew, I have done that before. My point of reference is my life and my examples are often of people I know. In my last post I mentioned gays, I know gay men, heck, I know gay women; but, I don't know any gay women with Aids. They are out there, I just don't know any.

I have talked about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. I have talked out against what we are doing. I had family in those war zones while I wrote about them. While my discussions were on aspects of the war, it has a very personal meaning to me that I do not discuss. I would hope that my readers understand that this is not just words, this blog is an expression of my feelings and my experience and my life. It is personal.

I do not generally like to discuss what I have done for others. I certainly do not wish to hold anything I have done for others over them. For this reason it is difficult to defend who I am to people who are unaware of things I have done. In this instance I will mention something I did. The person I helped was a young gay man who reads this blog. He needed money to get in an apartment and I gave it to him, not loaned, gave. He moved into West Hollywood. If I mention that West Hollywood is a gay community I will not be completely correct, there are straight people that live there also; but, the majority are gay. Is that being stereotypical?

Some of the questions I ask or some things I write about may make people uncomfortable. Learning and thinking require some discomfort, it means we must consider things that we have not thought about before, we must move out of our comfort zone.

Let us consider a hypothetical. What if I hated homosexuals and chose to post about it. What would be the best way to get me to reconsider my position? I read a lot of blogs and news stories and the comments. I see way too much attacking rather than engaging in conversation. We take offense and attack rather than attempting to get people to consider alternatives.

We rush everything anymore. I rarely see people ask for clarification, instead I see conditioned responses as they attempt to respond. I have opinions and I have attitudes and I cannot possibly see things the same as all of my readers. If people wish to understand what I am saying please ask for clarification, I will do my best to respond in a clearer way. Please give me the courtesy of being wrong sometimes; but, still willing to take a second look.

To the person who commented that they thought I knew better, stick around, comment more, lets get to know each other better. Understand that I write as I am thinking, I plan out nothing on this blog. I write casually, it may appear otherwise because I write a lot, I do it at work much more formally. I will not question everything I write here because it is meant to be casual in format. I will attempt to provide some context to my last post.

Yesterday I finally got someone assigned to work with me on my foreclosure. My mind was focused on the million things I have to do to move out of my house. I had just finished talking to a cousin about moving all of my furniture and possessions to another state until I can find a place to keep them. I wanted to make my post for the night quickly so that I could return to thinking about what I need to do to move and where I would get the money from. I read the article about the stem cells being used to cure Aids. That was the linked article, I know stem cells are being used for other things such as Parkinsons; but, what immediately came to my mind was the people I know who are HIV positive and they are gay. I wondered what I would say to them if they asked me if they should take the stem cell cure. Rather than give my answer, which is no, I asked the questions.

To all of my readers I will give these comments. I will write about whatever is on my mind that I wish to and in any manner that I choose. This is not a public forum although the public may read it. I do not make one penny off of this blog and do not intend to. I do make an effort to find articles that not everyone may be aware of. Sometimes I do research before I post; but, that is rare and usually limited to things like the pension scandal. Articles that are not about opinions but are about events that require more investigation.

I do not have time to discuss every aspect of everything I write about. Often I am looking at one or two aspects of a thing. This is not an encyclopedia, it is where I discuss things that are on my mind. Please do not assume that my thoughts are limited to the issues I raise, I do know that there are other issues remaining and after I write I continue to think about them. This blog represents only a small part of my beliefs and thoughts, I exist beyond this blog and have thoughts beyond what I post. Be well.

I found this article that sort of discusses the issue raised above.