The New Phone Books Here

I sent my request to the FBI and got the following letter

Dear Mr. (Pimpernel),

"Ths responds to your Freedom of Information/Privacy Acts (FOIPA) request.

Based on the information you provided, we conducted a search of the indices to our Central Records System. We were unable to identify responsive main file records. If you have additional information pertaining to the subject that you believe was of investigative interest to the Bureau, please provide us the details and we will conduct an additional search."

Now, the next paragraph said that if I was on a watch list then they would not have to provide me any information or explanation. Excuse me kids, lmao. Now I can list out all the reasons why they do have a file, all my family had secret or top secret, my ex brother in law has a very active file because of his job, I dated a woman with a top secret cleanarnce and over 20 years ago the FBI had to admit that they had tapped our phone for 5 years rather than 3 (the law, not an investigation into wrongdoing by my family).

Hmmm, now what shall we do next. Perhaps the reader thinks Pimpernel does not know how to play the game; but, he does. He knows how to do a Freedom of Information request regarding events that their files would have mentioned him in. Rather than request my file, I can request an events file that includes a discussion of me. They then would have provided information proving I must be in a file of my own, now which event shall I choose. There are time limits on events under the FOIA. Something borrowed, something blue.

Dear friends, Pimpernel belongs to no organziations, has stolen nothing, is a pacifist and lives the quiet life I have previously described. Why would a meaningless person like me be on a watch list? That makes no sense, well, depends on why and which list. There are lists for all kinds of reasons, even ones that you are on where they dont have a problem with you.

A friend of mine who worked in the intelligence community had said that he was surprised he was not able to see my file previously, they told him no and he had a very nice clearance. He couldn't figure out why, that is why I asked for the file. Now, Pimpernel is confused too. I will have to ponder this for a bit and how I wish to proceed.

I am so silly, I don't need to do any of that, I have my father's writings, he died in my arms. No telling what might be in those, perhaps others would be interested in knowing. That is not quite fair either, I don't really have any of his writings, I do not have the space to keep such things.