Passings

Last week I was asked by the Pastor that I work with to speak at a funeral today as he was unable to make it. Having spoken at numerous funerals, this was okay with me. It was a Hispanic funeral, I speak practically no Spanish; but I was assured that they all did. Nope, better than half of the service was in Spanish. A friend of mine gave me rough translations.

Things went well at the service and it turned out that I did not need to speak, so I was really more there for the family. I didn't know any of them; but, had the opportunity to. A very nice family. The father had passed away and he seems to have been one of those old school Mexicans. Low paid for life, break his back and take care of his family. The words that I heard over and over being used about this man was that he was honest, hard working and patient. He was also very much in love with the Lord. The whole family love God.

I spoke to one of the grandsons, a very pleasant and mannered young man who also happens to play music. He asked me if it was okay to be in a band that was not associated with church. Of course my answer was that it was fine, just watch the lyrics. They kept referring to me as Pastor Pimpernel and I kept asking them to just call me Pimpernel. I also don't like to be called Doctor Pimpernel.

I saw a 30 something man speak about his father, I saw his sisters speak. They all respected their father and they all talked about the values that he left them and that they live. I thought of my father and mother and the values that they left me. I thought about my children and the values that I have tried to leave them and live. I told my children to not lie, cheat or steal and I do not do so.

A passing is a time to look back and look forward at the same time. Look back at what the event or person meant to you, how it effected your beliefs or actions. Look forward to what you will leave as your legacy. For me, I think I leave a pretty good legacy, I leave my children and all those whose lives I have impacted. I try to have a positive impact on a daily basis, it is for God to decide if I was successful.

This passing comes days before Christmas. While the symbology used at Christmas was originally pagan, the Christian re-interpretation is about one of birth. Birth is a new beginning; but, it is also a passing from what was. Some passing's are the result of us growing up, others are the result of us not learning and missing an opportunity to grow.

Three deaths in two months. Each effected me in a unique way and my relationship with the people was pretty wide. All the way from my childhood sweetheart to somebody I didn't know at all. I will have another passing soon and I am not sure what I think of it. Let us say that I have gone through a life and awareness experience for almost the past three years. The past six years have seen a change in every aspect of my life. Now things are stabilizing and I am acquiring a new sense of normalcy (we shall see how long that lasts, lol).

As the craziness of the past departs and as I find a new sense of calm I am now starting to be able to put some context on all of it. It began with me losing most of my family and friends, too many to count. They died and left me behind. Then I was faced with a series of health issues and finally I was faced with divorce and losing everything I spent my life working for in order to take care of my family. In the last ten months or so I began my new life, in a new city and with new friends.

While the last few years have been incredibly stressful (with the stress causing me permanent visual damage), it also had lots of exciting new things for me. I went white water rafting, I drove to Portland and met up with a bunch of people I only knew from the internet and I even began preaching. As my old life passed, I was busy forming my new life, making choices for what I would and would not pursue. I dated and then stopped, I had never thought that I would date again in my life. I found out that there are women who actually enjoy my company and who were very interesting to listen to, I enjoyed dating.

A passing is an opportunity to put old things away and pick up new things. It can be a chance to upgrade. I choose to upgrade. Most might not see it that way, they might see losing a half million dollars, your home and your possessions as a downgrade; but, it wasn't for me. As for the divorce, I did not lose anything, another chose to leave and there is nothing we can do or that we should do to deny another their free will. It is okay to attempt to discuss such matters; but, in the end we all make our choices.

Some might say that they thought I should have gone through my trials better; but, none would say that I could not have done a whole lot worse. In the end I am still standing and that is a good spot. I have grieved the past as we all should or we miss out on this very human experience that we call life. Now I will spend more time contemplating what I am creating, the next part of my journey.

Here is the thing about passings, they are just new beginnings if we let them be. We take from the past; but, some opportunities that we once had will not open up again because others have also gone through their passages. After a passing, the world is a new landscape, new choices and new beginnings; but, we take with us what we have learned on our journey and should go forth in hope. We may not be perfect; but, we can learn and make things better. Peace.