To Whom it May Concern,
I never met the fine Pastor, I doubt I have ever met you. There is a chance that you search the internet to find information about what you did. There is a chance that you have read my writings. If you are reading this and it matters then it is not a chance it is God at work. It certainly is not me, I am an illusion or at best some remote person who took an interest in a news article.
I have never been to Anadarko or whatever your city is called. Nobody knows or cares about the town, it is nothing to the rest of us. I bet money you live there. I bet money you will make a mistake, you are an idiot and will talk. Every day you pray that you will not make a mistake, everyone makes mistakes, nobody is perfect. Lets say that you never make a mistake, what will your life be? It can only be a life of separation from others, a life of lies. I have seen that in others, it is not nice, it is solitary confinement by choice. The choice you are making, the only result of failing to admit your choices and choose anew, with a renewed mind, one that learned from it's mistakes.
If you had any sense, you would go back and read as much of this blog as remains. It predates what you did, you made choices and need to take responsibility for your choices or you can never forgive yourself. And here is the most amazing thing in the universe, I truly believe that if you turned your heart to one of forgiveness and love, I believe she would have forgiven you and I believe her whole family would forgive you.
Do you understand that you killed one of the good ones? You actually killed someone who cared more about others than herself. What does that leave you? Is your next step to kill anyone that cares about you, you got one person who cared about you, what is left? I do not believe that Pastor Daniels would hate me for anything I said that was of heart and love and that is the person you killed. I don't hate you and I don't think she would either, she was a woman of love and concern. I believe her family is also, I think she knew how to raise a family better than me. I believe she was better than me or at least stronger
Dear Mr. Killer, you may never read this, in which case nothing I write matters. I can live with that. Now, on the other hand, you might read it once. You will or not read this, what does that cost me in my search. It costs me nothing, no chance of loss. As a consequence, I can address you directly and I do. Pastor Daniels wanted everyone's salvation, she wished none to hell. She and I may have agreed or not agreed on the details of salvation, I am not a member of her church. It really doesn't matter. I believe in my heart that she cares more about your heart than anyone else, I believe that even if you cannot understand that, she cared more about you than herself.
I do not ask you to turn yourself in, I don't really care if you do or don't. I care about your soul and that is what I believe she would have cared about. She forgave you, I believe her family would forgive you and I know I forgave everyone. True forgiveness requires that we accept that others hurt us for the wrong reasons and still love them and then it requires that we accept that we have hurt others with no justification and love them. I have now been contacted by Pastor Daniels family and they can correct me if they think she would feel differently. I personally believe that Pastor Daniels would give her life to save another and that just may be what she did for you. What you do with your life is your choice and God can decide to give you what you asked for, complete selfishness and completely being alone with yourself.
Look, I have plenty of posts for you to review, they are all the same, they are what I think and I believe Pastor Daniels would want you to love others and forgive yourself; but, that requires accepting that you did something wrong and taking responsibility for it. Do it or don't, that is you choosing who you are. Good luck with that if you choose for others not to matter, that is choosing solitary confinement. Have fun.
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4 comments:
Thank you for the letter to her killer(s). I hope they will read it and think about what you said.
I hope they turn themselves in to law enforcement and turn their heart and life over to the Lord before it's too late.
As a member of Pastor Carol Daniels family, I would like to say that you are absolutely right about her love and compassion for others.
That's what her ministry was all about. Salvation for everyone. Forgiveness for all who are willing to repent, confess and believe.
She would forgive quickly the person or persons who took her life and she would tell us all, especially her family, to do the same.
Peace
Dear anonymous family member,
Your words touched me very much. I waited to publish your comments, maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong. I did what I thought was best at the time.
Pastor Daniels will never be forgotten by me and she inspires me. When I read about how she traveled like 60 miles each Sunday to go to a church where someone might show up, I couldn't complain about driving 15 to be in the same situation.
This blog was never actually intended to have an emotional response from anyone, it started as a very long dissertation on philosophy, I destroyed the first two versions of it. The blog began very unemotionally, a game if you will. I never expected to still be here and knew nothing of Pastor Daniels. I read about what happened and wrote what I wrote, it then took on a life of it's own.
Should her family ever wish to contact me, they can do so by contacting the OSBI who can then contact me as they obviously know who I am, I told them so. I also assume that her family would have mentioned my blog long ago to the same. I knew that when I made my original post.
It was not the horrific nature of Pastor Daniel's death that interested me, it was the extent of her effort to be there for others that impressed me. She was a committed person for God. I was never fortunate enough to meet her and wish I could have. I would like to know how she found joy in this world.
The part of your comment that was hardest to read was how she would tell her family to forgive her killer. That is exactly how it should be and the hardest thing in the world to do. The fact that her family believes that is a testament to her life.
I pray for you and her family and I wish I had more to offer. Peace.
How very admirable of you speaking of what matters- where we will all endnup in the end. May this lost soul seek forgiveness and find it.
Dear Anonymous (12-9-2013).,
If there is no God and no afterlife then Pastor Daniels death, your death and my death are all meaningless. I, like Pastor Daniels, actually believe there is a God.
I got in an argument with a loved one recently. It is a person that had been dedicated to self indulgence and had been a Atheist. I don't know why but in the last few years they have come to accept God and a fundamentalist. Out of the blue, they called me up to tell me why gay marriage is horrible.
I attempted to explain the difference between God blessed unions and societal accepted unions. Society has no right to prevent someone from having a relationship with another person. It is the idea that we are God, that we should be able to control others that is fundamental to missing the big picture and that is that we all need forgiveness, that none are perfect.
How can we hope for anyone to go to Hell or choose to not be better. The most selfish thing in the world is a newborn, they have to learn to give and learn to know when they are unfair to others. The story of the prodigal son is perfect, it is all about being happy when people turn away from evil and not celebrating punishment for past wrongs. That idea of forgiveness is what Jesus taught. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
The name Jesus Christ, regardless of how spelt or pronounced, means something very simple. It means "God's forgiveness". God is a being of love and forgiveness, we would not need a God if we did not need forgiveness. The pricetag for forgiveness is focusing on helping others and forgiving others. It is about forgiving debts and not holding grudges, it is not about being perfect as none are.
As I stated, the OSBI is quite aware of this blog and I have received more than one comment from people who claim to be from her family. Not one of them has asked that the killer be tortured, nope, they have all wished for the killers salvation. Pretty awesome.
Why does this case matter? What if Pastor Daniels had died in a car accident on the way to that church on that day, a complete accident. Why would she be relevant? Everybody dies, heck, I have died more than once. The problem is that someone killed her, not that she died. The issue is why someone ended her life with intent.
Whatever their motive, whatever their intent, they considered their personal benefit more important than another persons life. Shouldn't we pray that they learn more to care about others than themselves. I detest Ayn Rand and have written about her recently, she believe selfishness was the greatest good. She did not believe there was a God.
I have no problem with putting people in jail, I have a problem with hatred. How do we both save people and protect people, that is what is what criminal law is about. What will makes things better in this life for everyone and what will make things better in the afterlife for everyone? Peace.
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