My Ever Changing Surroundings

For a little more than four years I have had people living with me that needed a place to stay. One is a younger man that needed a start and I helped him to find his start. He is now engaged and about to move out. I am both sad and happy. We have had plenty of good times and I exposed him to many new restaurants and flavors. As we both like to cook this has been fun for me. I am thrilled that he has found a good job with real career opportunities and a chance to have a decent life. Tonight he thanked me for all that I had done. He is the last of the many people who lived with me in my home.

For the past seven years I have housed so many people that I have lost count and they are all in better situations today. I guess it is only right that as I prepare to retire, they all go their ways. I guess I am feeling empty nest syndrome. My children grew and moved out, the people I helped with a place to stay have all moved out and the people I mentored in business are all now pursuing their careers (and quite well if I may say so).

This last young man was different. I didn't know him at all when I let him move into my house. He was a friend of a friend of one of my daughters and had just lost the couch that he was sleeping on at another home. He was trying to correct a DUI that he had gotten. We took care of that problem. He was a little confused at first, I don't think anyone had ever given him a chance like I did.

At first when he moved into my house we used to talk and listen to music and comedy sketches on my laptop. Later he brought in one friend and then another. Two of them did not have living fathers or strong father figures. Another young man that lived with me for awhile along with his girlfriend did not have strong father figures to look to. I sort of became a dad to these young people.

All these young people watched what I did and how. If I would have done other than my word they have noticed; but, I think I lived my word whether you agree with my beliefs or not. The media doesn't seem to believe that good older male figures (father figures) are important anymore. It is. It is very important. My dad was a great dad and I have always believed that if I could be as good a role model as him, I would have achieved the world.

Sometimes when I do something new and well, I want to call my dad and tell him or ask him how he would deal with a particular situation. Unfortunately my father passed away a few years ago. I am fortunate, I have an older male friend who I can call and bounce ideas off of. He used to be my boss and is retired and now I am about to retire and I still need to have him around.

You might ask yourself what I get in return for mentoring or helping others. It is pretty simple. When one of the young people I helped gets further ahead and tells me how something I did was helpful to them in making the right decision. I feel fantastic, it means I spent my time well helping another. Heck, one of my greatest work achievements was mentoring a young man who is kicking butt and taking names and for the right reasons. He is also now mentoring a young man that had a rough beginning and no good father figure. The young man I mentored is now older and is mentoring another, he already had a fantastic father; but, I taught him the world. I think I was like an older brother to him. I love him like a younger brother.

Anyways, I am sad tonight to see the last of them go. I am sad to see this young man go; but, I am also glad. He is off to make his journey and that is why I help young men, to see them make their journey. I do not have any boys, I have three daughters and I love them all and am proud of them all. I also have two son in laws; but, they both have their own fathers.

I am proud to see young people grow up that were part of my extended family; but, am sad that our time together is over. When I was young my job was to learn. When I became a young adult, my job was to show what I could do. As I became middle aged my job was to see how far I could take it all and how much of my integrity I could retain. I am retiring and will have a new job. I wish I could call my dad and ask what that new job is.