My Car is Mad at Me

My car was getting cranky and I knew. It is 8,000 miles past service and the brakes needed to be fixed. As a consequence, the car is in the shop and I am stuck at home. Pout. I am also suffering from allergies. Great day. LOL.

Being stuck at home I was reading the news. One site I visit occasionally is called "Above Top Secret". They post about different things and bring up odd news stories. The site is fairly well moderated and some of the posters make a real effort to study up on what they write. A new thread is about whether or not Misogyny is ruining the male female relationships.

As I mentioned a young friend of mine is getting married. I have also said that I plan to marry again someday, I believe in marriage. The first thing about the thread I read was that everybody that posted believed that the male female relationships are not going well, nobody disagreed about that point. That in and of itself is horrifying.

So what is ruining relationships? I believe it is selfishness. People were raised and society told them that they have to look out for themselves first and they do. It is the search for personal pleasure rather than team work. It is not just relationships that suffer because of this, it is everything. We see it in our work places, we see it in politics, we see it everywhere.

When I got married, my wife told me that we should always put ourselves first. I disagreed, I said we should always put the kids first. She had been raised differently that I. People do not wish to have children in the west because they do not wish to have personal freedom impinged upon, selfishness.

How have we come to such a situation, it is not natural? We are designed and wired to have and love children. Our biology is designed for it, our greatest pleasure is in the sexual act. You can talk all you want about overpopulation, that is not the issue, people no longer wish to have children. Having children forces you to be less selfish.

You cannot love if you think of yourself first. You may think it is love; but, it is not. Love is putting another persons happiness before your own. Love is not a feeling, it is not lust, it is a way of thinking. It is the opposite of worrying about what you get out of a relationship. It is worrying about what you bring to the relationship. It is about both people feeling fortunate to be with the other.

I Have Nothing to Say

I just have nothing to say lately. It isn't quite writers block. It is more like I just don't have anything on my mind. I am not accustomed to this. I do apologize. My mind is unaccustomed be being blank. I am always thinking about some scenario or something going on in the world. I think my mind is taking a vacation.

I used to wonder what it would like to be normal. On the one hand you are accepted by a broader range of people. On the other hand, you are normal. I am not anti-normal, some people with Aspergers are, they have nasty little names for normal people. That makes them as bad as the people who mistreated them. They do not understand how hard we can be on people.

I used to wonder if being normal would make everything easier, possibly even bearable. In the end I decided I just want to be me and see where that goes. Oh, I had some good news, a wonderful young man who used to be my assistant (read babysitter, confidant, bodyguard and friend) is getting married. I could not be happier. I have watched this young man become a force to be reckoned with.

I have many people who have wanted really bad to be my assistant, to learn from me. I am not bragging, it is just what it is. I don't let people just be my assistant. I pity anyone who is my personal assistant, it is a bad job. I am not mean to anyone who works for me, I am not very demanding per se. But, my personal assistant I expect one thing from, they must be ready, willing and able to do whatever needs to be done. I don't care what it is or how hard it is and they are not allowed to cheat. No skipping a step and attempting to hide it.

When he came to work for me I told him that he could never lie again and that he needed to needed to be as good in bed with his partner as he was at work. ROFL. I really told him that. He assured me that he took care of business. I have spent many wonderful hours with his fiance and him and I believe he has done me proud, he is like a son to me.

I have three daughters and as bad as they can be, I would not trade them for the world. They are mine and I love them. I never felt a need to have a boy, happy with what I got. I trust God on such things; but, it is nice to have young men look up to me. I cannot tell you what a honor it is to have young men ask my advice on personal matters.

As men we are apt to not ask advice, to try and show that we have all the answers. I have young men ask me romance advice. Pretty good for 50. I listen to the stories that young men tell me, stories about seeing their mothers beat, I see their controlled anger and pain. I listen to the stories of young men who just want to get a job and have a wife. This is the hardest time in history for young men. No roll models, no job future and yet they still have all of that young man energy and enthusiasm.

There is a reason young men do stupid things on motorcycles and skate boards and with chili peppers. They have all this strength and energy and it has to be shown. As young men we have a need to show that we are tougher and more fearless than the other guys. We do not do the stupid stuff for girls, we do it for each other. It also reinforces that we can be trusted in a hard situation.

When a man loves a woman, truly loves her, he will do anything to protect her. It is a shame that we have destroyed that type of love. All a man needs is to have a woman look up at him as if he was the answer to fear in her life. There is nothing greater for a man's ego then to have a woman feel safe because he is with her, that trust is the greatest aphrodisiac.

Earlier today, after I found out about my friends wedding, I was sitting with three young men and one young lady in my garage. We were just chit chatting and I mentioned how my friend was getting married. I then told them about what advice I had given my friend for staging their wedding night. Not sexual advice, setting a mood, knowing what she would be thinking. Two of the young men really seemed to be taking notes. How nice that young men want to know how to romance young women.

My ex taught me one thing, women decide what they will wear and what the situation will be when they are going to hurt a man. I thank her for knowing this, the opposite should be true of men. We should think in advance about how we will treat a lady and then we are capable of romance. Romance is making the effort to think of the little things rather than just trying to figure out how to take off a young ladies panties.

Romance is the spice of life. I dated a woman for a year and we never kissed. The first move should always be by the woman. The idea is to let her decide so that she knows she is safe. Women should run relationships because men are stronger. It is just a fact. If you love someone you want to feel safe.

One of the young men I know, and I have mentioned him once before, is a very big and physically intimidating man, he is also very gentle. If I hit him, he would not hit me back. I would never hit him, I like him. If you grew up, as a woman, seeing your mother beat up what would expect from life? My father was a wonderful man, USMC and more. I never saw my father lift his hand to my mother, I never lifted my hand to my ex, my brother never lifted his had to his wife and my brother in law never lifted his hand to my sister. Men never lift their hands to women. If you can prove you are tough by snorting wasubi, you can keep your FXXXing hands off of women.

Again, another rambling post. Sorry. I have no respect for any man who lifts his hands to a woman, use the door and leave. If we are stronger we must earn the right to our strength and that is by love and restraint. Be well.

Preparing for Changes

I am a creature of habit in many ways. I like to have a stable base and then change things; but, I don't like my base to be unstable. For the past five or six years my base has been unstable. Now it is time to make a new base and I feel anxious.

Interrupted again. I wrote my intro hours ago. I cannot finish what I began. I suck. Be well.

Where are you being led?

The 9/11 mosque versus burning Koran garbage was just too obvious, meant to inflame people. The question is where are you being led. The answer in this article is to only listen to the official explanation. Respect their AUTHORITY. What a crock of garbage. The vast majority of Christians do not agree with burning anyone's bible and the vast majority of Muslims don't want to have a mosque at "ground zero". The vast majority of people want to have a simple life, love a spouse, raise their kids and not get brutally murdered or tortured. Isn't that how you feel?

No Post

I just have nothing to say. I know it is 9/11 I can't really add anything to that.

Something slightly sexy

Romance, it seems to be a dead art. Romance is considered a waste of time anymore. I was talking to one of the young men I know about why I have chosen to not take some of the feminine opportunities that have been available. When I was younger premarital sex was still frowned upon. It is difficult for young people to even understand how that effected the blossoming of relationships.

I explained how it was very common for kids to not be allowed to date until they were 16. I remember those times, I watched them come to an end. I tried to explain that you might have gone to elementary school with a girl and known her for ten years before you asked her out on a date. It seems alien to people today. I also explained that most people knew each other pretty well by the time they dated, they had grown up together. It is part of the reason there were fewer divorces in the past.

When people talk about how they married their high school sweetheart, it was often someone they knew as a child and had watched develop over the years. This was especially true in smaller cities and towns. Once the young couples had decided to date, then came the courtship. People have forgotten how wonderfully exciting courtship can be. I hope have not.

Courtship is a slow dance rather than a race for the bed. It was measured by how intimate you had become with a lady, a process not a result. Each time together you would get just a little more intimate, eventually this would lead to "heavy petting". The effect on people and their relationship that followed is different than what you get by sleeping together by the third date.

I wanted to write a story illustrating the difference and have decided to give it a try. Wish me luck.

THE DANCE

I remember the day I decided that I wanted to take Barbara on a date. I had known here since we were ten and had never thought of her as anything other than a girl. We had plenty of girls in our schools and she seemed to be just another. She was pretty enough and smart enough; but, growing up I was more into football with my friends.

Sometime around entering High School something changed. I can't tell you exactly what occurred but girls seemed much more interesting than they had. I noticed that people I had known since childhood began hooking up and going out together. I began looking at the girls differently, my friends and I would discuss what we thought of the different girls, their good points and bad points.

I hadn't noticed; but, over the last year Barbara had become less of a girl and more of a woman. One day my friend Steve was talking to me and asked me what I thought about Barbara. I didn't know what to tell him, something in my gut felt odd. I said I liked her well enough and moved on. I started thinking about her and watching her more as the days passed. I noticed little things, like the way she walked and how she played with her hair when she didn't know an answer in class. Stupid things really but I found them charming, unique to her.

One day, we had a show in the auditorium and I got to watch her sing. That was the day I decided that I would ask her out. Sitting in the dark auditorium watching her with spotlight on her I began to feel something. I felt I wanted to be alone with her.

SORRY, IT DIDN'T WORK. THE STORY FORMAT ISN'T WORKING FOR ME.

Back in the day, sex was not a for sure thing. Women were taught to be young ladies and it had meaning. The legs did not open unless there was commitment. You might date for years without having sex. In fact, the dating was the thing. Watch "American Graffiti" for a feel of it.

There was a time when women who slept around were considered "bad girls" and there was a time when there were "good girls". There was a time when there were gentlemen rather than studs. I see very few ladies and gentlemen anymore.

When young ladies were developing, it was a thing of beauty. It was something treasured and valued by men of class. Good men wanted a woman who would be a good wife and raise their children with the same values. It was a search for beauty rather than sex. The excitement of not knowing if you would would get to touch a breast. Quite an achievement at one time.

Intimacy is letting someone see and feel parts of you that you intend only for you and one other person. It is the exclusivity that makes it intimate. If you do not cherish your body and privacy then there can be no intimacy. Intimacy makes a relationship different than all of your other relationships. It makes your partner and lover your best friend, the one you tell your secrets too because they have proven their love.

Imagine, if you will, going into a relationship knowing that you will take your time in getting to know another. Imagine agreeing to take things slowly, the anticipation, the wonderment. Imagine getting each other one body part at a time.

The first date is holding hands, the second date is a peck on the cheek, the third date a kiss. The fourth date is a roundup of the previous three. The next date may explore arms. The passion builds, the sweetness of anticipation. Each step achieved individually, if done well then one is allowed to proceed to the next level.

There are people who practice tease, we have names for them. I am not talking about teasing, I am talking about timing. I am talking about learning. Learning what your partner likes. We all enjoy an orgasm; but, there are other things we can enjoy. We don't know what those are if we go straight to sex.

There are things I do not like, I do not like my nipples played with. I don't know why, I just don't like it. I like to hug a lot, that is wonderful foreplay for me. I like hugging; but, it has to be the right kind. The caring kind.

Experimenting and learning mean that you are paying attention, that being a good partner is more important than being an immediate partner. Some experiments will fail, that is great. The first time you have intercourse, you should know your partner so well that you cannot displease them, you should have driven the rest of the road in advance.

I have failed miserably, I have not presented what I am trying to explain in a satisfying manner. We live in a fast food culture, we are impatient about everything. We do not know the joy of anticipation. You should approach a woman's body the same way you approach Christmas, let the excitement build. You should approach relationships in the same way, you have a lifetime to learn them. Put things in order, don't start the mystery novel by reading the end.

Romance is missing from our world. Romance is a hesitant woman and a man who is willing to be patient and prove that he has a better self. After 24 years together, I still brought flowers weekly, as some died, I would replace them. I have faults, plenty, in fact as many as anyone else. But, I still believe in romance and in marriage.

I believe in marriage, I believe in growing together, even through the hard parts. I believe a relationship should have hard parts or it is not truthful. We are not perfect for anyone, we are practically perfect for someone. Learning our joys and dislikes is developing a relationship.

A relationship is not non-stop pleasure. Romantic love cannot be sustained forever; but, romance can. The giddy highs you feel at the beginning cannot be held onto for every second for decades. We like the giddy highs so many go into serial relationships constantly seeking the high. Sometimes a good buzz is better.

I just can't get this together right. I will post it but apologize that it didn't come together the way I wanted. It may have value but I did not get out what I wanted and I know it. Have a great weekend.

The Coming of Direct Democracy is Bad

The sheep were intentionally rattled. The threats of global governance and stricter monitoring of us will have the real goal realized. The people of many nations are revolting against their governments. The call goes out to take back our governments. It is said in France, Greece, England, the United States and even Iran. People who are unhappy with the current state of affairs are throwing out people from all the parties to find people that are not "professional" politicians. They will succeed, sort of.

There is a call for a international referendum coming from Europe. Most states do not have initiative or referendums. They are tools used by governments whereby the people directly vote for a law. Sounds good doesn't it? It is good to a point.

I have spent 46 of my 50 years on earth learning about government. I know a thing or two about how they work, not just my own, I studied them all and their laws. I was one of the few to take classes in comparative law and comparative government. I see government as a necessary evil. I do not believe in direct democracy. People who know me will be quite surprised to learn this.

Direct democracy (as opposed to representational democracy) and proportional legislation are systems that are incapable of reasoned change and tend to make constitutions meaningless. Jesus told us to be good slaves for a reason, the majority of people make lousy masters and are incapable of being good leaders.

The founding fathers were smart, they studied what had been done in other countries throughout history. The Constitution created representational democracy. It allowed average people to vote for people they considered the most knowledgeable and reasonable to run the country for them. It worked so long as those were the people we voted for.

The problem we face today is that people now vote their pocketbook, they vote for people who they believe will institute policies that will favor them, rather than do the right thing. They vote for people of low morals who will vote for policies that favor them. Bill Clinton is a good example, he was immoral and lied and people voted for him anyways. I feel the exact same way about George W. Bush. I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican.

We do worse than waste our votes, we vote for people we don't like and don't trust, we vote based on color or gender or association. We vote for "our guy" rather than the right guy. We don't bother to learn the law or decide what policies are best. Political discussion in this country is limited to people getting angry and taking sides. Name calling is considered appropriate, consider the use of the word tea baggers. It is depressing to see our President use the term.

Direct democracy will only make things worse. People will still vote their pocketbook; but, will have no restraint. They will still vote their bigotry. We can know the biases of the people we vote for; but, how can you know the bias of a nation, you can only speculate.

Direct democracy works well in small, homogeneous societies. I lived in the last town to have Town Hall government in the United States. We had under 6,000 people in the town and one stop light. The town, I was told, was the second town founded after Plymouth Plantation. It was named after the Earl of Sandwich.

The Town Hall system worked because everybody in those small towns understood that their lives were intertwined, they depended on each other and to harm any of them was to harm them all so they spent a lot of time talking to each other to decide what was best. You cannot duplicate that on the internet, the voters do not depend on each other in a way that they understand.

I had more to say; but, I have been interrupted so many times that I just can't hang on to my thoughts. Sorry.