Gays Cannot Divorce in Texas

A state appeals court in Texas said that gays who got married in another state cannot get divorced in Texas. How dumb are Americans. What has to happen now? It goes to Federal Court. LMAO.

Look, the courts are tools to achieve political ends. If the court in Texas, which does not honor the laws of other states, refuses to divorce gays, what are the next steps? No state will accept the legally married status of another state. Eventually the states will get out of marriage all together, they will only concern themselves with child care. This is all orchestrated. It is a joke.

Hello Dear Readers

Sorry for being so quiet. Lots on my plate this last weekend. Everything is better now, in so many ways. I do wish you to understand that I actually feel bad when I don't post as there are some who have come to expect it. I promise to have somethings to discuss in the near future.

Oh, I got one right. I have been watching my little desert town change and was pretty sure that it was in preparation for jobs to come to my area. It has just been announced that 17,500 jobs are coming to my area. That is a lot of jobs. Be well.

Still Here

Relaxing this weekend after a hard end of the week. I have nothing to say for myself. Be well.

Relaxing

My house is quiet, I have eaten a very nice ribeye steak. I have nothing to say at present. It is nice to have a break. Hope you had a break also. I may try posting later tonight.

No Way Out

How Do We Help People Who Were Abused

Trauma and shock as a child can effect the way you see the world and stunt emotional growth. I have met many people who have suffered through such things, all of my dogs were abused also. How do we help people to heal emotionally.

I know how I did it with my dogs. I provided them with quiet and calmness. My current dog was abused, when I first got him he was very anxious. Someone used to kick him in the rear is my guess, it was a man, I believe it was a bigger man. I believe this based on how he acted.

He is a very funny dog. He is a Chihuahua. He is completely fearless. We discovered something about him, he has changed. He is still fearless; but, now he seems to respond to others based on how I react to them. He is very perceptive. He waits to see how I respond and then responds in kind. Well not quite, he bards at anyone that makes me feel unsure or that I dislike.

When I first got him he would not come to me. He hid under furniture. I never pushed him to come out. I never chased him down, I let him decide how close and what the pace of our evolving relationship would be and I never hit him. When he is unruly, I will hold him gently in the air with his feet off the ground and he calms down. He knows he is not in control and that he will not be harmed. I don't have to do that much anymore, he is a smart dog.

At night he will lay next to my legs, it is cute, he burrows under the covers and lays against may legs. Unfortunately, he also likes to fart. That has gotten better; but, still occurs. I don't like meeting new people and neither does he. I guess we both have to work on that.

I consider pets to be pets. I call him my baby; but, like I would call any loved one my baby. I let him come and go, from my room, as he pleases. He goes out, investigates, eats, sees who is in the house and then comes scratching at my door. I let him back in. He knows he can scratch on the door and I will let him in.

In the morning I go to the restroom and then take my shower. He barks when I go into the restroom. He didn't always do that. When I leave the house in the morning he sits at the window and howls for an hour. I am glad that I could take a dog who was abused and have him howl at my window because I have left. I think I did a good job with him.

I wondered how we could help adults who had been abused. I think the answer is the same. We have to know security, safety, that we are cared about and will not be abused before we can learn to open up. Gentleness is the key.

Jesus' last miracle before being crucified

I previously posted on Jesus' first miracle, turning water into wine and thought it might be interesting to look at his last miracle before being crucified. His last miracle took place in a Garden, he was praying and a group came to arrest him. One of the apostles, it is believed to have been Peter, cut off the ear of one of the people. Jesus healed the mans ear.

Why did he bother healing the guy? The man was not at risk of dying. Prior to that, as far as I know, Jesus only healed believers. This man was not a believer. On one occasion a woman who was not Jewish asked Jesus to heal her daughter who was demon possessed, he told her to leave; but, she persisted and he relented and healed the daughter because of the woman's faith.

This healing was not requested by anyone. The man himself was arresting Jesus so we have reason to believe he was not a follower. So my first question is still, why did Jesus heal him? He did not heal everyone that he met and this man meant him harm. I believe there may be two reasons. The first was to show forgiveness. Most people read the story and see that reason; but, I think there is more to the story.

The second question is what happened next, not to Jesus, to the guy whose ear he healed with a simple touch? How did that change that man's night and life? We never hear about the guy again; but, how could he doubt who Jesus was after being healed? How did he feel knowing he was responsible for helping kill Jesus after having his ear restored?

Perhaps, like Paul, he became a follower and told the story to others who also came to believe. An eyewitness account.

Rage

Rage is one of our emotions. It is the single minded focus of getting revenge. It is how we feel when we will not let anything get in the way of us conducting immediate physical harm on another. I have felt rage; but, over the years have managed to temper my anger. If we tell people to go with their gut instincts, we are telling them that rage is okay.

Emotions can be wonderful things or, if they are not managed and grown, they can lead to mindless actions. Rage stops thought. Thought manages emotions. We need always take the time to consider things before we act. Patience is the regulator of thought.

When we rage we feel totally empowered, we can do anything because we have moved past all fear. We are willing to die to achieve our goal. At that point no reason will be listened to. That is the problem with giving into our emotions rather than managing them. The collateral damage after rage can take a lifetime to fix.

Lust can be the same. Lust can lead people to do things without considering the consequences. It can also cause collateral damage for a lifetime. We need to manage our emotions, not allow them to control us. I watched as two people destroyed so much, rage was their issue. They let their emotions control their actions.

Catholic Church and Female Priests

There is a discussion going on regarding the Catholic Church allowing women to be priests. I am soundly against female priests in the Catholic church and I am not Catholic. I am against it because it would destroy any legitimacy that the church has.

What I find interesting is the arguments for it. Feminists that are not catholic and others who are not catholic believe their opinion matters, it does not. The Catholic Church is a voluntary organization, they are allowed to have their own beliefs and live by them. They rely on parts of the bible that say that women should not lead the church, it is their established dogma. If they turn from it, they cease having any claim of validity.

A group calling themselves "Catholic Women's Ordination" says that because the church is in disaray it may be a good time to force the change. They say that they are loyal Catholics; but, they seek to violate one of it's longstanding and established fundamental doctrines. Some say the Catholic church will not survive if it does not bend it's will to societies wants, it was created to meet societies wants. Many died because they disagreed with societies wants, they were fed to lions because of what they believed.

Why would you remain in an voluntary organization if you disagree with their fundamental beliefs, why not just join a group that agrees with you? It is our evil nature to attempt to force others to live by our beliefs. It is attempting to make the world like us.

Shortcuts and Artificial Intelligence

This is a fantastic article from Wired on Artificial Intelligence and what it may give rise to in the future. It is a long article; but, I highly recommend that you read it.

The idea is on of creating transhumanists. With technology we will be able very soon to link the computer to your brain. You would have immediate access to all the knowledge of the world. Just imagine being able to compete at math with the greatest mathematician in the world. Imagine everyone having access to the same information, not having to worry that you are not as smart as the next guy.

That is the allure of transhumanism. We are told that the threat is that the machines may take over. That is not what worries me. Letting machines think for you means giving up your free will. The goal of life is to grow, to mature. As we do, our understanding of ourselves and the world changes. To be supplied with all of the answers is a shortcut. It is achieved by accepting the answer of another.

I have been waiting for an article like this to explain a very important trend. It is social data mining to find solutions to problems. I want you to follow this link to apps.gov, it is a Federal Government site that provides software for the federal government as they turn to cloud computing.

If you look around the site, there is a whole section dedicated to Social Media Apps, why? A social network for government employees. Why? People are getting dumber. They are more tech savvy; but, they are dumber. The number of things that people are no longer capable of doing themselves is astounding. The purpose of the social apps is to share the little that people know, group think.

Lets say I want to know the best way to deal with a particular problem. Fixing a broken chair. The social network will allow all participants to put in their input in the belief that they will be able to see which answer was the most valid. Participative management. Very democratic and very stupid.

Good decision makers earned that right. They didn't earn it because of what they know, they earned because of what it took to learn the information. It is about learning to be responsible with the information you earn. As we learn complex information we learn it's proper use.

I have a fairly good mind. I earned it. Genetics gave me an ability; but, I did seven years of college and have read more books that I can count. It taught me to retain large amounts of information and see trends. The process of learning helped me to change my view, to see things others did not.

Information is just that, it does not give solutions. Experience helps one to see what works and does not work. Shortcuts avoid the experience and therefore the person does not understand all of the repercussions of their actions. It is like giving a baby a hand grenade.

Some people have photographic memories. I have seen them fail in law school. It is not about what you remember, it is about how you use the information. It is about the meaning of the information.

The biggest question is why would we want to head down this road. People will and are. The apps you use on your phone mean that you don't have to learn your City, the learning is the fun part. Driving through some part of town and finding that little restaurant you never knew was there, the surprise is the fun.

How much individual growth will we see in a transhumanist world? Very little, growth takes effort. This little blog is the result of lots of research. Each day I ponder what I will write about. I scour the news looking for things of interest, things other people might not see the consequences of. I then start researching. The easiest part is writing it. While searching I find a lot of information that is not needed for my post; but, it often ends up being researched separately and becoming it's own post.

Most people will take the shortcut. It will result in a world of immature people having lots of knowledge and little understanding. They will be easily led and not even know it. They will think they are as smart as the person who earned the knowledge, they will not be.

In a few years this type of argument will be considered evil. Once people actually start taking the shortcuts to knowledge, to deny them or question it will be seen as anti-social. People will say that those who are against these technologies just want to have an advantage, to have control over them. Personally, I am not big on control, I much prefer influence, that leads to discussions and growth.

Wisdom is not knowledge. Knowledge by itself does not lead to wisdom. Wisdom requires knowledge and experience. You cannot get wisdom from another's answers. You get wisdom by searching within yourself for understanding and experience.

Changes in your Money

Good article to read on an attachment for your i-phone that allows you to take credit card payments. With this attachment and application, you can accept money from anyone via a credit card payment. Why carry cash?

Where we are headed

Two articles. The first is on moving away from people owning their own homes. The second is on the stimulus money.

The first article about home ownership is interesting. If we don't buy our own homes, then who will own our homes, who will we rent from. Well, the government will own them. It already does. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are owned by the federal government. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac own 80% of all home loans. Your loan may be processed by CitiMortgage or Bank of America; but, the loan is owned by the Federal Government.

The second article on the stimulus is a must read. The last paragraph on page 2 is very interesting. It states that DARPA (the military) funded GPS, the internet and the M-16. The original internet was known as ARPNet. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency and Advanced Research Projects Net.

When we have created all the green energy and a smart grid, the government will control all the energy in the United States. The government will own the homes and the energy. You will rent from the government.

Your society is being changed all at once. Your ability to have a job will depend upon these changes occurring. Energy and housing will be less expensive and you won't complain. You will barely notice the difference, short term.

More Garbage

Wired has published an article. The Link. It says that "Do Gooders are Unpopular Team Members". It says that they are unpopular because they raise the bar for everyone else, that is not the reason.

We dislike people who are unselfish because it demonstrates that we are selfish. There is a scene in Scarface where the criminal says that we (the good people) need him to scare us into being good. That is criminal thinking. We don't fear there being bad people in the world, we know there are, heck, we have been bad. What we fear is good people, that means that we can be better.

We fear gratitude because it may cause us to pay our debts. I am funny with debts, usually tell people the same thing. Firstly, if I give someone something or do something for them, I don't expect them to ever pay me back even if they say they will. My payback ratio is about 10%, 90% never pay me back. Secondly, if I do something for someone I usually ask that they do the same in the future if they see someone in the same situation. They have a term for this now, "Pay it forward".

Where we are as a society is determined by each of us individually, we are all participants. If we had a society of people who would jump on a hand grenade to save others then we won't be throwing any hand grenades. The article is about how we have to be selfish to be social. People who are selfish are more likely to be liked is it's message. If you wish to be selfish, you will use the article to justify being selfish.

I-Dosing, the real issue

To begin with, whenever the media puts out two alternatives, both are wrong. You are being led. There is a new thing out, it called I-Dosing. Basically, it is noise meant to have a effect similar to drugs. It is distributed over the internet.

Oklahoma has decided that this is dangerous and wants to warn parents about it. Both David Icke and Alex Jones have decided that this is another attempt by the government to control us and the internet. Others are saying that it doesn't work and is just silly. Everyone is missing the real issue. I don't care about I-dosing, it is irrelevant. The whole discussion is meant to be hypnotic suggestion.

Hypnosis is begun with a suggestion. It is the suggestion that another can make you believe things that are not true, that they have the power to hypnotise you. They do not. Hypnosis is self-delusion. I used to "hypnotise" people, I know how it works. You can read up on it. It is hyperfocus.

We are only consciously aware of a small amount of what is going on around us. Lets say 10%, for the sake of argument. I wrote a post recently about the gorilla in the room that nobody noticed. Same thing. If you are too focused, you miss other things. That is the essence of hypnosis. If you believe someone can hypnotise you then you are more susceptible to believing they did it.

Hypnosis works because we want to excuse ourselves for what we do and blame others. Our choices are our own. Noises will not make you think you are on drugs, you will convince yourself that it works because you want it to. Because most people wish to go along with others, they will convince themselves it works because their friends are all saying it works.

I am about to teach a young man self-hypnosis. I will explain that nobody can hypnotise you except yourself. I have to do it in this manner because I need to make sure that when he uses this concentration process he does not allow others to use it against him. It is meant to help him with a sleep disorder. The suggestion/induction will be reinforced with a post hypnotic suggestion that if he is unwilling nobody, including himself, can hypnotise him. I do not wish him left vulnerable.

The argument over I-Dosing is hypnotic induction. It won't work on everyone; but, the discussions will act as hypnotic induction on those who want it to be true. There was a movie called "The Ring", it was about a video and if you watched the video within X number of days you died. Mass media is an expert at using the power of suggestion and that is all it is, suggestion. It is nonsense. They provide the excuse and we take it.

What we need to watch for is the next shoe to drop. We will have a lengthy discussion about I-Dosing, some kid will kill himself and we will be outraged. The real trick is that we convince people that they can be manipulate via sound. The next trick is to say that some have placed subliminal sounds on the internet to program us. LOL. It is coming.

We are emotional beings having a material experience. We associate certain emotions with certain experiences, that does not mean that the experience causes the emotion. It is a choice of associations. As long as we remember that we make the choice, we are in control.

There is no war on for your mind, it is baloney. The war is on for you soul, for your willingly giving up your self will in exchange for being able to blame someone else for your bad behaviour. The purpose behind repentance is acceptance of responsibility.

The way the scumbag got to my ex-wife was repetition. 50 texts a day telling her how she was perfect. She wanted to hear that. Flattery, repetition and promises of cookies is how you control the masses. That is how the mass media works. The things you believe become the things you do. If you are looking for excuses, you will find them. The excuses always fall apart in the end no matter what you convince yourself of.

I-dosing will work on those who want it to work on them. The issue is not i-dosing, it is about taking responsibility for oneself. The garbage we have been selling people for the past 60 years is that if you see violence in the media, you are more likely to be violent. It is a lie. I can watch violent movies every minute and it will not make me be violent. Having said that, fill your minds with things of beauty and it will become a habit.

What we fill our minds with is our choice, we seek things out. If you spend all day killing people in a video game, it is because you wish to feel power. If you spend all day thinking of all the people who helped you, it will become your day. I became better when I began thinking of all the people who helped me. Gratitude is a great feeling; but, it requires that you recognize and appreciate what you have been given. We can look at how we all fall short or we can look at how far we have come. We are capable of growth.

Sick and Samson

Have a slight cold, been fighting it all week. I thought it was just my allergies; but, turned out to be a little more. Got me thinking about allergies. I am allergic to perfumes, not all but many. When I am around some my eyes get gooey and swell and I have a hard time breathing. Sometimes it kicks off my bronchitis.

Anyways, staying home was tough too. It was 105 degrees, just hot and miserable. LOL, just got an e-mail. It turns out that they sprayed my office building for bugs, I guess it was an allergy. I am allergic to certain chemicals, it also affected my stomach and made it queasy.

My stomach is my weak part, I lived with cluster headaches, I live with arthritis. I didn't take anything for the headaches. Mostly because back then they didn't have anything that worked. I don't take anything for the arthritis because it was too hard on my stomach. Everybody has a weakness.

For some reason it made me think of Samson of the bible. It is another one of those stories that leaves out something. Samson meets Delilah and falls in love with her after having his intended bride married off to his best man by her father. Delilah is paid silver in order to get her to discover the secret of his great strength. She asks him and he says he will be weak is tied up with fresh bow strings. He wakes up to discover that she has done so and he snaps them off. She asks again and he says he will be weak if tied with new ropes. He wakes up to discover that she has done so and snaps them off. She asks him again and he says he will be weak if his hair is woven, he wakes up to discover she has done so and he unweaves his hair. She asks again and he says the secret to his strength is his hair. While he sleeps she cuts it off and he is captured by the bad guys who poke his eyes out and make him a slave.

Now, here is my question. Why did he tell her? He could not have been so dumb that he didn't understand what she was trying to do. Did he like being tied up and think it was a game? I should point out something, Samson's strength was not because of his hair. That is a myth. Samson had taken a Nazerite oath to God. No alcohol and to not cut his hair. He would have lost his strength if he had wine, his strength was taken for breaking his oath.

The Greek tragedies were all morality tales. In general they would use the stories of people to explain a moral and to explain a flaw, the stories were meant to show the benefits and consequences of being one way or another. I believe God uses people and nations in the same way. Samson's strength was in his keeping his word to God. His weakness was what?

At the end of the story, Samson is tied up and on display in a Philistine temple. His hair had grown back; but, his strength had not returned. He prays to God for the strength to avenge the loss of his eyes. God gave him the strength, he pulls down the pillars and kills all inside and dies with them.

Now I shall give the key to most characters in the bible. They often are real world representations of the times they live in. Consider the prophets. One was made to marry a whore to show what God thought of Israel at the time. In the time of Samson, God was delivering Israel from the Philistines.

Israel was supposed to separate itself from those around them. Instead they took up trading with them and some even married them. Samson's intended wife was a Philistine. The parents married her off to his best man. Delilah is a Hebrew name and therefore we can assume she was Jewish and not Philistine.

His story begins to take on meaning. He (representing Israel) fell in love with other cultures and left the way of God. The family of the others rejected him and killed his family. He returned to his own culture (Delilah) and she sold him out for money. He was then captured by the enemy and enslaved and blinded. In the end he returned to God and killed his enemy. His story was meant to tell the Jews of those days to beware of taking on foreign ways and what?

Delilah means "One who uprooted or weakened or impoverished". Interesting. Samson was the last of the Judges. He was the leader of Israel. Delilah basically sold out her own people, she sold out her own countryman and lover for money. One may ask why she was with him in the first place. He was in charge, she didn't love him, she wanted what he had to offer. Power is an aphrodisiac to many.

Did Samson know that she didn't love him, probably. He didn't trust her and did not tell her the truth about his strength the first three times. It is possible that she asked him before or just after having sex. It does not say that Samson married Delilah, she was a booty call.

"Things fall apart, the center will not hold". Nations are destroyed from within. When your own people start selling out your country for personal gain, everybody loses. One must expect to have others attempt to take over your country, to destroy your self will and determination. They can rarely do that without help from within.

The United States is not being destroyed by illegal aliens, Iraq, Russia or China. We sold ourselves out. We indebted ourselves to China, they did not force us to buy from them. Our politicians sold us out to international banking and globalization. We turned on each other and took loans with no intention of paying them back, we have become a nation of corruption. We no longer keep our promises, we attempt to have others meet them for us.

If you live in a nation where everyone is out for themselves, it is simply a matter of time before you are destroyed. Strength is in sharing, in our relationship with one another as brethren, as being Americans. Our identification with each other as being in the same boat.

I might be a little under the weather; but, I hope some of my readers found this interesting. I did not know what I was going to write, I had asked a couple of people for some ideas. Then, I just started writing. After all the research and writing about the pension stuff I did not want to write anything really heavy, my research side needed a break.

It used to be that everyone who was a scholar knew the bible. It was a common language because of it's stories. They were so well known that they could be used to illustrate a point. One does not have to be Christian or Jewish to enjoy reading the bible. It is still a book and one that has been fairly popular over the years. It is very readable. I highly recommend to everyone to read it at least once all the way through.

When we read any book we should read it with an attempt to understand more than just the story. Every writer has a purpose beyond reciting what occurred. My youngest daughter writes very well, she is very good at saying something in such a way that other people can relate to the emotion she is attempting to bring out in the writer. That is not my strength, I believe I am good at making things accessible, taking terms of art and intricate thoughts and explaining them to non-experts.

This blog is clearly not for everyone. Most people could care less about the things I discuss. Quantum physics, public pensions, the bible and relationships. Having said that, I do try and make these subjects as amusing as I can. I thank my readers for being there. It gives me a reason to keep writing and I like writing. Thank you.

Zuma Dogg

There is a blogger in Los Angeles, he gets most of the pension stuff; but, doesn't see it all. I hope he catches this blog, he will get the rest. Be well.

Lets talk about questionable things and relationships

Tonight I plan on giving some real nice detail about the impending Pensiongate. What happened in the City of Bell is nothing, the governments failure to pay their share for the pensions is nothing, nothing compared to the skulduggery.

Lets get down the cast of characters first.

First and foremost we have Elliot Broidy. He was not the biggest player; but, he got caught and decided to testify rather than go to jail. Things to remember, he sat on a public pension board, he has ties to Israel and was a co-founder of Markstone Capital. I want you to read the members of the management team at Markstone Capital and their background, mostly people who had Israeli ties.

Markstone's management team includes Mr. Dan Gillerman. Mr. Gillerman was an ambassador for Israel to the United Nations.
Then we have CIM Group. The link is to their website, I want you to read up about the three co-founders. We have Richard Ressler, Shaul Kuba (sorry that link was to the article where infamous gangster Eddie Nash said he sold his property to CIM Group because they wore him out) and Avi Shemesh.

Next we have Alfred Villalobos. Mr. Villalobos sat on the CalPers Board and was a Deputy Mayor in Los Angeles, he also lost quite a lot of money gambling in Las Vegas according to the Attorney General. Now if you read the article, you will notice that Mr. Villalobos' top client was Apollo Global Management.

The founder of Apollo was Leon Black. Mr. Black is one of the wealthiest men in the world and the son of Eli Black. You need to read the link to the Mr. Blacks. In 1975 the Securities and Exchange Commission for that Mr. Eli Black's United Brands Company had paid a $2.5 million dollar bribe to the Honduran president and Mr. Black, he jumped out a window and died.

I forgot something, I am getting old and feeble. I have, as the ex told me, lost my once formidable intellectual abilities. Please excuse this infirm old man. Richard Ressler, the guy from CIM Group. He is the brother in law of Mr. Leon Black.

Oh year, and we have Ares Management, which was co-founded by Anthony Ressler. I do hope you are finding this all sort of incestuous and sordid. Now lets talk about Sin City.

Apollo Management bought Harrah's the largest casino operation in the world. I used to be Diamond and usually stay at Harrah's properties. I may have to stay somewhere else. CIM bought the Lady Luck hotel and casino. CIM is working with the City of Las Vegas to rebuild the Lady Luck and assist in building a Mob Museum. I want to remind you that CIM is funded by public pensions. Why is my pension fund buying property from notorious murderers and building a Mob Museum?

Two things I forgot. Ressler used to work for Junk Bond King, Michael Milken. And this, the California State Retirement System CalSTRS and CalPers invested in Apollo Management's takeover of Harrahs. This occurred after Harrahs posted a $1.6 Billion loss. And remember, CIM Group is also funded by CalPers and CalStrs.

Now I want to tell you about a Law Firm. It is Fragner, Seifert, Pace and Winograd. It is a firm with some pretty impressive clients. Their founder is Matthew Fragner. He is the attorney for the CIM Group. Another attorney at the firm, Risa Winograd, has represented the California State Teacher's Retirement System, according to their website.

Wait a second, one attorney represented the retirement board that funded a company that is represented by the same office. That does not sound right, that could be seen as a conflict of interest. Perhaps someone in the State Bar that understands these things might look into that.

CIM Group, I just find them fascinating. Their Senior Vice President is a fellow named John Given. Mr. Given used to be on the Los Angeles Community Redevelopment Agency and the Metropolitan Transit Authority. He must have heard quite a lot about planned developments. Perhaps that is why CIM always knew when a market was going to hit before it occurred. Just a thought. He is also a speaker at the Milken Institute.

Hey wait a second. I think that was founded by Junk Bond King Michael Milken, yes, it was. Eventually Mr. Milken was indicted and plead guilty to numerous crimes.

You may get glimmers of what lies behind all of this; but, I have not organized it well. I am just reading about where my pension fund money and the pension funds of other government employees has gone. By the way, deep within the Stimulus bill was something specifically written in for Harrah's. Your president signed the bill and then bad mouthed Las Vegas, how odd.

Our public pension funds have made billions for crooks. The politicians put questionable investors on our boards. They became "friends" with the employee board members, left the boards, created companies to advice the boards and made billions. Many of the investments were in Israel and failed. The investment advisers would sell the boards on investing in companies that their friends controlled and were paid finders fees.

The investments were often in Redevelopment projects which were government supported. They would get money from the Redevelopment Agencies. Hope you enjoyed seeing the people behind the public pension investments. How come Jerry Brown hasn't included this information?

What I won't write about

Too many conflicts are intentionally committed to lead people astray, distract them or convince them to make bad decisions. I won't get into a conversation about the mosque at "ground zero". It is a bunch of garbage designed to get people to accept the government having more control over religion. That is all it is. I won't get into long conversations about how the "illegal aliens" are responsible for every crime or problem.

I won't get into discussions on the blog about the BP oil spill. There is more than enough out there on it and everybody can see it is just to get us to stop using oil. The latest garbage about how we have withdrawn our fighting troops from Iraq is sufficiently silly that anyone can see we still have troops there and they will be fighting. The finger scanners at fitness gyms really speak for themselves and your loss of privacy.

The magician has nothing on politicians. Misdirection is there stock and trade. The mass media is just its tool. They post outrageous images and issues and then watch as we repeat them. It is all orchestrated.

Now, I will talk about things that are odd. This article for instance, it is about a copper scroll that was found along with the dead sea scrolls. It tells where treasure is hidden. Part of the treasure is perfumes and oil, the discussion is all over the gold and silver. It then talks about how they think it may be things taken from the temple in Jerusalem, that were hidden just before the temple was sacked by the Romans. Now let me tell you why this article is important.

The Israeli's have a place where all of the gold and silver things that went in the temple have been recreated. Here is what they don't know, what oils and spices and perfumes were used in the ceremonies. You see, the perfumes and oils were very important. Someone who attempted to use the wrong stuff before God was killed. He said he did not want unknown scents. On a few occasions God mentioned the pleasing smell. I would think knowing what the perfumes and oils were would be very important to the group that wants to rebuild the temple.

Oh yes, and I forgot. Remember earlier this year when an Ethiopian church said they were going to display the ark of the covenant? I posted about it. The following day they met with the pope and said they were going to wait because it wasn't time. They never said that they would wait forever.

What does Israel do if they find the needed oils and perfumes and then Ethiopia shows the ark? If they have absolutely everything they need to rebuild the third temple how do they not? How can they keep their national identity, as the jews, if they do not rebuild the temple? Their "right to the land" is based on their following the law, on being jews. How do they justify, to themselves, that they have anything in common if not their religious beliefs? You see the jews in Israel are Russian, Polish, French, Ethiopian and from everywhere else you can imagine.

I am not taking sides, it is just a fascinating question to me. They took Jerusalem from it's prior government. The justification was that it was their homeland. That God had given it to them. How do you then not rebuild his temple when you have everything you need? Their justification for being there at all is lost if they do not do what it is they were given to do? If they do not rebuild the temple their whole justification for taking any land from the Palestinians is gone. It is reduced to "we needed a place to stay so we took yours".

Israel's supporters have the same problem. They support them for being there because they believe it is their "promised land", yeah, well who promised it? If they don't say God they better have an even better explanation for taking a country away from people who did live there.

See, this little scroll is a problem. It is the last piece necessary to force this conversation amongst the Israelis. If you base your actions on a belief set or religion, eventually you have to face the hard questions. Believe me. In Texas-No-Limit we have a saying, "Are you all or are you all out". Where the rubber hits the road. The buck stops here. Where the Sxxx hits the fan. Put up or shut up. All say about the same thing.

I didn't both posting another link; but, in the dead sea scrolls they found the instructions and design of the temple. What happens in Israel as their people are confronted with the fact that they have everything to rebuild the temple and begin ceremonies? It is like the quantum physicist being confronted with unconnected things that are supposedly inanimate reacting to each other when unconnected.

I used to joke about what would happen if a Serial Killer found God. It was a edge question to see if people believed in salvation for the worst of us. I would explain that one was saved if their heart caused them to have a changed life, not becoming perfect, improving. I asked if a serial killer was saved and began killing less and less (serial killers are known for killing more and more until caught or killed), would he have a changed life? It was an extreme to test beliefs. The Kansas serial killer known as BTK did just that.

I found about BTK a couple of years ago, just before he reappeared. I determined he was different because his frequency decreased. I determined he was a church goer. Turns out he was, he was their Deacon. He wrote some of his files to the police on a computer that was owned by the church. He even took one of his victims and posed them for pictures in the church. He is a very disturbed and confused individual.

Good and evil are opposites. Sometimes opposites attract. While every victim of crime is to be felt sorry for, Nancy Fox stood out for me. As I read up on what BTK had done, that young lady just kicked me in the head. She had a backbone of steel, I mean she was one unafraid young lady. She made her way through the world by herself. I might add that she was quite a looker, very beautiful. She was killed by Dennis Rader, BTK, twit. My heart cries for all of his victim's; but, Nancy Fox always touched me on a personal and deep level.

When we read of tragedies we always end up finding one story the one that just strikes our heart. Miss Nancy Fox struck me and I kept reading about the case. I was not stuck by her death as much as I was struck by what a courageous lady she was. While the a-hole held a gun on her and said he was going to rape her, she asked to have a cigarette and get it over with as quickly as possible. All the people he killed were real people and their stories are stories of courage. Mrs. Wegerle fought with everything she had and the police suspected her husband for years. I pray for him and all of the people who died friends and loved ones.

Having said all that I have, Miss Nancy Fox was the person I most would have enjoyed getting to know. Every life is special and everybody has meaning. We choose what that meaning is and we choose what is important. We live with the consequences. Sometimes we cannot see the consequences in advance, we then have to live with our choices alone. That is the place where the proton must make a choice (prior post). The outcome is already determined, it is our choices that are not.

My brain is tired, it is bedtime. I did not finish this post; but, I will post it anyways. Be well and have a great week.

Love is the drug

Love is a drug. Watch the video, have fun. I really like the girl on the right, watch her eyes.

My Dinner

It is Sunday and I always try to make something special for the guests in my house. Tonight I made shredded, braised short ribs with Penne Pasta. Four hours may sound like a long time to spend cooking; but, most of it is waiting. Why would anyone spend four hours making dinner, because it is fun to make something people have not had before.

Another article worthy of discussion

How nice, I really do try and find articles that will show you the future. This article discusses how Philadelphia is now taxing bloggers as businesses. The lady made $50 from her blog and was taxed $300. I have never made and will not make one cent from this blog. I will say what I want and refuse to make one penny.

Look, free speech is not going to be free. We don't want you thinking for yourselves, we want two sides to every argument and we want you to be moved by cookies and bigotry. That is how you control the masses. In the future, the new businesses will be individuals creating applications for phones and tablets. It will be a true cottage industry. It will be taxed internationally because the internet is international. People who make money from these endeavors will self-regulate what they say in order to make the money. Watch.

Finally something worthy of writing about

A recent article by a scientist is worthy of discussing. He explains how the past is determined by the future. That is his lack of understanding. I ask you to read the article before you read any more of my comments. I'll wait. Dumdudumdum. Are you done reading the article or are you cheating, come on now read the article.

Sort of hard for most people to understand what he said. If you don't understand quantum physics this stuff can be very counter-intuitive. Simply put, certain subatomic objects react to to other subatomic objects in a manner that shows they know what each other is doing even though not connected. Take two balls, bounce one in American and it's partner will bounce in China. That is what the photons are doing. We don't know how they are connected, it gives the appearance of thought connection. I do not believe it is. Let me correct that, the photons don't have thought.

God is proven by quantum physics. God knows what we are going to do and adjusts the world before we get there. If I put a cookie on a table in front of a two year old, I know he is going to eat it. Imagine the choices for quantum physicists, ROFL, either the photon knows or it is controlled by an awareness that knows. I love quantum physics.

When you really begin looking at what quantum physics sees on a sub-atomic level, it sees that everything is connected; but, there is nothing physical connecting things. The scientist cannot understand this. That is why they have come up with string theory; but, that fails too. In order for string theory to work they had to keep saying there were more and more realities, alternate universes. There is no alternate universe and you cannot prove it, it is voodoo.

God has ordered the world for us; but, allows us free will. He is smart enough to keep the matches away from the two year old. One of my prior posts was about the Hadron Super-collider. It was created to find the "God-Particle" and kept braking down. A scientist working on it said it was as if something from the future was preventing it from working. What I am trying to show is the current thinking of quantum physicists.

Quantum physics keeps discovering that all of the rules that the world and nature follow on an atomic level are violated on a subatomic level. On a subatomic level everything appears to react to thought, it appears to have a mind of it's own, sentience. It blows their little minds. I will gladly take on any scientist regarding these issues. They will not flim flam me. Imagine trying to tell people that the past changes based on the future, what nonsense.

What we are seeing is that scientists, physicists no longer have valid explanations for the world. They have concluded that time can stop (which violates all other sorts of rules), that gravity does not exist (which violates common sense and all other sort of rules) and that reality is not real (which is just retarded).

We experience life on the atomic level. It has rules because it must to make sense, for us to experience it in any logical way, to make our choices. On a subatomic level it makes no sense, it follows the rules that he wills. Scientists know that on a subatomic level things follow a will, a sentience and they don't know what to do about that. Regular physicists don't want to talk to quantum physicists, it screws up the story. Quantum physics is an outlier, it is where all the anomalies exist. How can you base a rational world on an irrational base? LMAO.

The article is written to overwhelm all but quantum physicists. It is meant to teach you that crazy has a reason. We know what happens on a sub-atomic level and it says God exists and is in control of the world. It also says that we get free will and to choose. It is the simplest answer on a quantum level and the scientists don't like it but cannot deny the lack of logic on a sub-atomic level.

The most renowned physicist today is Stephen Hawkings. He amuses me. He believe aliens are coming here and are dangerous, he believes that there are multiple universes and he believes we need to colonize space to continue as a species. Somehow that is an easier answer than the obvious, there is sentience, awareness at work and behind the universe.

After Armageddon

I like to point out, as I have previously posted, that Armageddon is a place, not the end of the world. In fact, it says that God stops the battle at Armageddon and that if he did not then everyone would be dead. So far so good. But something has always intrigued me, what happens afterward.

Here is the part that intrigues me. The anti-christ and his followers are stopped and Satan is thrown in the abyss for a thousand years. During that time it says Jesus and those who did not take the mark rule on earth for a thousand years. It then says that Satan is released for a short time. Why? What happens during those thousand years with Jesus ruling on earth?

Firstly, what is it like while he is ruling on earth, I assume that we would continue having stuff to do. Babies would be born, people would pass on. Here is my guess. Remember Satan accuses us day and night before God; but, it also says he has control of this earth. Consider how he accused Job and tested him. Satan said Job was only faithful because he had it easy so Satan was allowed to take everything away from Job and Job was able to prove himself.

What if the 1,000 years was our opportunity to prove what we would be when not continually tempted, an unrigged game. Most likely some would still fail to be their better selves; but, they would not be able to say that they were unfairly tempted. The question still remains, why release Satan again? Perhaps for the same reason, to see if he learned his lesson.

What is fascinating is that there is so much that the bible does not go into. In truth, it doesn't need to; but, it does leave some interesting questions. Sorry, I walked away, a little bout of bronchitis. I lost my choo choo and don't where I was going with this post.

Joseph

Lord Godygod is very nice to me. He is going to let me talk about Joseph. Joseph, Jesus' step father was just a guy. He didn't expect what he got. He did not expect to marry the mother of Jesus. He didn't expect to take care of God's child. How could he?

He was a carpenter, an average Joe. He loved a girl who was worthy of love and got caught up in something very strange. The woman he loved and loved him got knocked up by God. He accepted that. Ahhhh, bet that was easy. Not.

They do not mention him at Jesus' funeral. I wonder why. He was chosen as much as Mary was. Why did he not show up for the crucifiction. Because he could not. It was too painful. He knew what he raised, he knew his son. Could you watch your son be nailed to a fricken cross and have the bad death? I couldn't.

Can you imagine seeing your child have nails driven through their wrists and feet? His mother watched, I bet that wasn't fun. His father did not, he did not want to see his son break, he gave his son his dignity. He did not want his son to have his father witness him break. He gave him that respect. He did not look at his son's nakedness, remember, Jesus was also a man.

From what we know, Joseph was just a guy. He got up everyday and went to work. Oh, yeah, and raised God's child. Yeah, that must have been easy. Lots of room for error. Nope, he did it. He paid for Jesus' growth. He went to work so that Jesus could have the time to go to church and teach others. It says that there is none good but God. That means that Joseph was not "good". How was he not good, what was his shortcoming? Do you think that he woke up one day asking for this?

Sorry Dear Readers

I am dumb as a stick today. Da Brayen knot werkin. I have nothing to say for myself and am lost in a dream. It is a nice dream. I am listening to music and daydreaming. Perchance to dream. Perchance to joy. Perchance to sleep.

The absence of pain can be quite euphoric. To let go of all the crap for a moment. To end tension in oneself. To let go.

I am a hugger. I love to hug. I also like to smell new babies. You cannot do that everyday so I look forward to hugs. A hug is warmth. It is connection. Sex is nice; but, hugs say just as much and you can hug anyone. Someone asked me recently if I had ever been happy, not really. He said he guessed it wasn't a priority to me. He didn't get it quite right, other things were higher priorities. Things like caring for my family, honor, integrity and helping.

I am 50 now and alone. I have the greatest friends in the world; but, they cannot fill certain voids. There is a man, he is the last of his tribe, of his world. He lives in the amazon, he is the most secluded man in the world. He is the last Mohican, so to speak. Two people tried to contact him, he shot one in the chest with an arrow. His tribe had been attacked by outsiders and he is all that is left.

What happens when you lose everyone and everything you have ever known? What happens when you are the last? He is the Omega man. The Last Man on Earth, in his world. How his heart must ache. Solitary confinement and a distrust of the rest of the world. Sounds pretty bad. I pray for him.

There is a play. It is called "Waiting for Godot". It is a horrible play, I put it on once. I hated working that play. It is the most depressing play I have ever put on. Samuel Beckett was the author I believe. You can look it up. The lonely guy in Brazil, he just goes on and on. He moves from place to place. Nobody knows why, he is not looking for companionship, he just moves around. Why? What is he thinking? He knows the others are all dead.

My mirror. Lets discuss what is in my mirror. I have a piece of paper with a eulogy for my best friends son, I have a Australian ten dollar plastic money, I have a card for a realtor, a document prepartation company and a police detective. I have three pieces of paper with phone numbers on them. That is my mirror. The guy in Brazil has no phone numbers to call. He has no paper and nobody. He knows other people exist, he just doesn't want to meet them.

I have spent today mostly alone. By choice. My allergies are acting up and I have a sinus headache. No biggie, just what it is. I bought a couple of beers for some young men, they truly appreciated it, unfortunately, I do not feel up to socializing with them. My head hurts. I wonder if that is how the lone indian feels. Too much pain to feel like socializing with anyone.

I think I am rambling on this post even more than usual. I am not headed in any direction, just write. I used to draw, I was decent, not great, just decent. I stopped drawing by the time I was in law school. I just stopped. I drew maybe two pictures since then, if I find one of them I intend on destroying it. Art is a fragile thing.

If only you believe like I believe we get by. Hahaha. Lets talk about King Solomon for a moment. He had like 360 wives, what was he thinking. How do you propose to wife 360? I mean did he like promise his undying love or say that she was special to him? How did he get away with saying he was in love? Who would buy such a thing?

My dog is retarded. I hate to say it but he is. My dog has no good sense. He runs in front of my feet in circles trying to figure out where I am headed. If he had any sense he would follow behind instead of guess. You are so beautiful to me, you are so beautiful to me. Can't you see? Your everything I hoped for, your everything I need. You are so beautiful to me. You are so beautiful to me. You are so beautiful to me. Can't you see? Your everything I hoped for, everything I need. You are so beautiful to me.

Most of my writing tends to be similar to Hunter S. Thompson, today I write like the beat poets, no string to tag things together. Random. Random has value, we don't have to make sense all the time, it is okay to drift. Tonight I drift. Perhaps a friend will send me an e-mail and save me. Perhaps not.

Do you know the difference between a sniper and an assassin? Most people never considered the difference, I know both. A sniper hides and kills from a great distance. It is sort of remote from it's target. Sort of gutless. An assassin gets up close and personal. When they kill you the blood flows onto them. Wet work it is called. They actually have a relationship with their target, different personalities at work.

The people who control the drone planes are in the United States. They are controlling planes and killing people ten thousand miles away, it is a television show for them. They never feel the pain, they never share with their victims. They take little risk. If you do horrible things you should risk, it should be a requirement that you see into the eyes of your target and risk.

There are consequences for not following the rules. I believe there are times to not follow the rules; but, I also believe that society has the right to enforce the consequences when I do not follow the rules. I am not afraid. It is a battle of wills. Society can be wrong, to disagree with society should have consequences or society does not work.

I am a pacifist; but, I respect honesty, I respect assassins. I might call one this weekend, if he is reading this, hey guy. LOL. When your day is long and the night is yours alone, when your sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on. Don't let yourself go cause everybody cries, everybody hurts sometimes. Sometimes everything is wrong, now it's time to sing along. When your day is night alone. If you feel like letting go. If you think you've had to much of this life well hang on. Cause everybody hurts, take comfort in your friends, everybody hurts, don't throw your hands, oh no, don't throw your hands. If you feel like letting go, no, no, no, your not alone. If your on your on, in this life, the days and nights are long, when you think you've had to much of this life to hang on. Well everybody hurts, but sometimes everybody cries, everybody hurts. Sometimes. But everybody hurts, sometimes. So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, everybody hurts.

My preferred weapon is a bow and arrow. It is silent and requires proximity. It is also very good at it's job. The lone indian has a bow and arrow. I will not use nor buy a combination bow, the distance is increased too much. Simplicity is the art of relationship. Up close and personal. Both good and bad should be done in person.

An assassin is not like a spy. They have the same skills; but, the assassin does the work and is truthful. In the world of intelligence there are many types of freaks. Each has their own personality profile. I like assassins the best because they put it all out there and have courage. They are willing to live with the results, heck, I think they want to. At least the three I have known.

Three, that is a lot. I just thought of that. How the heck does some retard like me know three assassins and two snipers. I wasn't even in the military. Draft ended when I was 17. Hey, it is almost twelve so I have to post. Random, no thread, just stuff. I don't have to always make sense, I just have to write. Be well kiddies.

I am off tomorrow

I must say that I am a little disappointed, nobody commented on my post about orgasms. I really like that one. Apparently, the FBI is now investigating another Councilman. I hated to hear that, I know the guys brother and he has always been a really good guy. Just a comment.

Funny, to many people I do not come off as a really good guy. I take positions and will fight for the right thing. I also don't care about presentation, I don't put on the "Christian" suit. I smoke and will continue to. It is not our bad habits that convict us, it is the badness in our heart. If we work on our hearts everything gets better eventually by nature. If we focus on our actions our hearts don't get better, we just become more self-righteous and blind to our own faults.

Jesus's first miracle was to turn water into wine. By the way, not just any wine, the best was saved for last. The best wine would have been the strongest. Port is a wine, it is a desert wine, it is damn strong. Cognac is made from wine, it has more kick than does scotch or vodka. Why was that his first miracle?

I hope you like the question. It has always fascinated me. I want to give the setup. Jesus and his apostles had attended a wedding. His mother came to him and said that the wedding party had run out of wine. He said to her, "Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come". I am going to get you with this one. In response to what Jesus said, his mother said to the servants, Whatever he says to you do it".

I will now show you something in the bible that is rarely if ever discussed. Jesus chastised his mother that it was not time for him to make miracles. He was already teaching because it says his disciples were with him. He did not begin his ministry with miracles, they came because of his words. Now consider his mothers response. She told the servants to do whatever he said. She knew he would fix the issue. How did she know, he had not made miracles before. LOL.

She did know that he was of God. That she knew when the angels spoke to her and she became pregnant. She clearly had never asked him to commit a miracle, she never chased a cookie. My guess, God had assured her that she would always have what she needed. She didn't ask for her, she asked for the others. She asked him to make wine for the party, not for her. ROFL. Unfortunately, it does not say whose wedding it was. Maybe it was one of his siblings, otherwise why would his mother be so concerned. Just a thought.

Jesus' mother sent him on a beer run for a party and that was his first miracle. Now, why did he go? He was tough guy, he once said to someone something about that his followers were his brothers and sisters, his family. So, why did he do the miracle. My guess, God had told Mary something about being able to ask a favor someday and it being granted. She chose to have a lively party. It is not reported that he ever did what she asked again.

He could have made a poor wine or an average wine, he did not, it said that he saved the best for last. He did his mom proud. If your mother asks you one favor in her whole life, you better do the best you can. Imagine the life she lived.

Here she is, a good girl by all reports. One day as she is minding her own business, she is interrupted by a couple of angels with great news. She is about to get pregnant by God and is unmarried in a time when unmarried pregnant women were stoned to death and a shame on their family. Do you think she might have been a little intimidated? But she said yes, not for her, for us. She said yes to be a vessel to save the world. I would expect she was plenty darn scared. Pretty nifty young lady.

So she gets pregnant and has to tell her boyfriend. I bet that was fun. He believed her, why? He believed her because God told him what had occurred in a dream. Wow. He believed her and a dream. What kind of a girl gets that kind of credibility, the best kind. Someone who does not lie.

How do you parent God's son. I know, very carefully. No, really, how do you parent him? If he says he must do something, do you try and stop him? I think not. How do you comfort him, does he need comforting? Do you ever spank him, naaaa, he wouldn't need it. You let him tell you what he needs, he will know when he is ready. He would want love, he allowed Peter to rest on his legs while they reclined and talked.

Lets not forget Joseph, Jesus' step dad. He was pretty cool. He took on that job and knowing it was God's child. Pretty decent good guy, he does not enough credit; but, then people thank mom at awards shows. Someone pays the price for that family life.

Back to the wine. So why did he make it after telling her that he didn't want to and she shouldn't ask. This is intriguing to me. I hope you enjoy watching my little brain work. He, Jesus was told that he should do it. Either by God or her, in either case it doesn't matter. She had the right to ask God to do something he didn't want to and she didn't pay a price for it. Listen, she was imperfect, none are good but God. Yet, she paid a pretty big price, risked it all for God, for love of humanity. All she ever asked for was some darn wine. She didn't ask for a big house, gold, fame or anything else. She asked for some wine for a fricken party. She had the right, God gave her that right and she used it well. She used it to make others happy, how do you say no?

The second part, he saved the best for last. In olden days, it was common to serve the best wine first. After that you gave the cheaper wine because people couldn't tell the difference. He did it the other way around, the strongest and best he saved for last. Do you think anyone got drunk at that party? Do you think he gave wine that didn't give a buzz? Would the be the best for last? ROFL.

The wine he made was the best wine ever, it kicked major rear end. Jesus' first miracle was to get people drunk. His first miracle was to make people giddy and forget the problems of this world. It was a wedding, people were dancing and acting foolish, that is what you do at a party. God promises a party, a party in your heart. Remember when I spoke of orgasm, God is an orgasm, the complete letting go of fear and enjoyment of his warmth and the individuality of the other believers.

Now, I want reiterate that I said this blog was going to be more about religion. I tell you, it is okay if you skip the religious stuff. It is my blog and I want to talk about the bible, other ways of looking at it. I considered destroying all previous posts as I have twice before and decided not to. If someone comes here looking for the stuff about pensions, go at it. If they don't like the rest, you don't have to, skip it; but, I will say what I want. Pick what you want, it doesn't offend me. The blog is taking a turn, it is going religious. I will still talk about the other things; but, I plan on focusing on the bible for a bit. Who knows when it will change again.

Calpers Update

I wanted to go to bed and was closing out when I saw this article. It is about the trips and gifts that were given to Calpers staff. Amazing. Calpers trips.

Without giving out who I am, I do work for the government. On occasion people will buy each other lunch, it is no big deal. You have a meeting over lunch in a friendly atmosphere. Lets face it, even if you work for the government you still make friends with people you work with. When I do, I will pay every other time. I don't bill the government, it is a matter of a respect. It is well below the $50 amount. I just don't want to haggle over the cost of every lunch. Heck, I even bought lunch a couple of times for a billionaire, he hated that, lol. He knows I don't get an expense account for such things and it is nothing to him. Makes me feel good and as if, I don't know how to say this. It is very freeing to buy lunch for a billionaire knowing that you don't want anything from him. It is worth more than $50. Because of the divorce, it is still in my freezer, I know it hasn't gone bad, I would not turn over bad meat to a charity.

Oh yeah, I usually just send things back, could not do it with the meat, had to freeze it. The only other gift I ever received was a jacket. I looked it up online, it was worth $45, not $50. How sad is my life, I had to look up the cost of fricken jacket. I was forced to leave my beloved Los Angeles and go to the east coast, it was cold and they gave me a jacket, they had hundreds of them. It was a throw away advertisement, I appreciated it as I had not brought a jacket. The company had offered my government to pay for my trip, the government insisted that they pay for it. I cannot say I really cared, I don't like traveling.

I hate business travel. I mean, I really hate it. I have cussed people out, refused to submit expense statements and generally been a complete jerk when I have to travel. I think it is my way of begging to not travel unless absolutely necessary. I don't like being away from loved ones. I have had as many as two people be forced to travel with me and all they did was make sure I didn't go crazy, it rarely worked. ROFL.

Anyways, at Christmas people exchange gifts. Working for the government, I can't take, I can only give. One guy I know, who has never had a contract with us and who has never bid one, he sent me some meat. I had made him dinner a few times while we talked about what he wanted to do with the government; he liked my meals and sent me some meat. It was a very nice gesture, I had spent a whole weekend with him, unpaid, to here what he had. Actually, I think his idea is very good; because of that I have to turn the meat over to a Charity. I will do that this week unless I have to talk to my ex.

It is okay, in my opinion, to buy lunch or let someone buy you lunch. You are not to give millions dollars and ruin your organization because someone bought you a hamburger or gave you a book they read. Heck, I gave the Christmas guy a book, it was just a friggin book. When you start taking things that matter there is a problem. I don't care if someone buys the coffee; but, if you have someone pay your mortgage there is a problem. Where is the line, when it could effect your decision making. When the cookie may impact your decision making. You cannot have that no matter how inconsequential the giver makes it sound.

Read the Calpers article, read what the staff member accepted. Investigate where the seminars for pension board members are held, Hawaii comes up a lot. I want to say that I really like Hawaii and love the Polynesians. If I thought I could go to Hawaii, all expenses paid, once a year, it might impact my decision making. I love Filipino sausage. I would probably not attend the seminar.

I had my impacted molars removed, they broke my jaw and it hurt really bad. They gave me percedan, I really liked it. It is my favorite drug of all time. It felt like an orgasm (see the tie in to the last post, yes). I had to stop taking it and throw it out, I could have been addicted to it easily. I through it out because I knew it was my drug of choice. Instead I dealt with the pain of the broken jaw, that was not addictive.

Sometimes, if we grow, we have to take the pain over the easy way out. We have to accept that avoiding pain is not the goal of life, that having joy is not the goal of life. The goal of life is to learn to do the right thing for the right reason, if you do that then over time things get better. If you chase the cookies, life will get worse. You will get the cookies; but, you will never fully appreciate them, you will miss out on joy.

The easy way out, the quick fix to comfort is always wrong. It leads to bad decision making. Relying on someone else for your happiness and giving up your sense of right and wrong is corruption. Be well.

The News is Boring so Lets Talk About Orgasms

I see nothing in the news worthy of discussion. Even the dumbest can analyze the stupidity that is being put forth. A former U.S. Official saying that Israel must bomb Iran before Saturday, I read it, do you really think an ex-official would say such a thing without permission? Can you imagine the repercussions, and no comment from the President. Come on.

Then we have the nonsense of the thousand fires in Russia being the result of global warming. Firstly, I live in the desert and have for decades, Russia is cooler than the desert I live in and so is Death Valley, guess what no spontaneous combustion. A thousand fires means that they were set, they don't start by themselves and it is not claimed that they were all started by dry lightening. They have tried to scare people by saying that it is approaching Chernobyl, the nuclear plant, that plant is encased in concrete because of the explosion, that fire will not hurt it, think about it, the radiation can't even escape. Concrete does not burn. Let me simplify, what are kilns made out of, so why are worrying about it approaching Chernobyl?

What then shall we discuss. I know, lets talk about sex. I will keep it clean. Orgasms, those are nice things. What is an orgasm? I mean I know what it feels like and understand what the bodily functions are; but, what is it really? We don't think about it. I don't mean physically, I mean as an experience.

Physically you can tell me all you want about nerves and vibrations and hormones; but, that is not the experience. Think about it, what you feel is not physical alone. And even the physical part, what do you really feel? One of the most basic human realities and we can say what causes it; but, can hardly describe it. Some have referred to it as "the little death".

I can tell you what it feels like to have a massage, I can tell you what it is like to burn your fingers. I am not sure anyone has ever accurately explained orgasm. I read an article that said that the parts of your brain that experience fear and pain shut off. It also said that women seem during that moment to cease all emotion and go into a trance like state.

So, what does the little death and loss of all fear and anxiety sound like to you? To me it sounds like the ultimate pleasure. I used to suffer cluster headaches, they are really bad headaches that can last for days and are generally regarded the worse type possible. When the headaches would end I would feel an odd type of euphoria. I drew a conclusion from this, the greatest pleasure I have known was the absence of pain. The absence of pain is a freedom you can only understand if you have known chronic pain.

If my understanding is correct then one must understand pain to understand pleasure. Pleasure is not appreciated by those who have not know the lack of it. We take it for granted and expect it and do not enjoy it as much unless we have known the lack of it. Pain and pleasure are merely intense nerve reactions, strong nerve reactions. They do not exist in reality, yet, they are a part of our reality. They are seen as pain or pleasure based on our interpretation of them. The mental interpretation is what I am asking about, how is it interpreted.

It seems, based on brain scans, that in fact it is a little like death, that is why there is a lack of all fear. The closest I have felt to orgasmic in a non-physical sense was when I was in love. When you first meet someone and fall in love, you lose all fear. The feeling you have when you are with the other person is almost orgasmic and lasts longer.

I remember a girl, my first real love. I remember that I felt light hearted whenever I saw her. I would go into a phase where I couldn't think straight. I don't do that too often, my brain is usually up to something. Around this girl my speech slurred because I got so stupid. Da Brain wud naught wirk write. Haven't you ever felt that way when you were in love? I knew this girl for six years and that feeling never went away and we never had sex.

I remember the second to last time I ever saw her, she held my hands and looked me in the eyes. She wanted me to do something I did not wish to do, she wanted me to take a phone call. I couldn't say no, when she held my hands my brain stopped, I looked at her and she just guided me to the phone, she could have walked me off a cliff and I would not have known nor cared. I took the call, I had to leave.

A lot of people are too obsessed with orgasm. If you are with someone just for orgasms, you miss out on the real fun, love. You can have orgasms without love; but, they cannot be anything more than physical. You can love and have orgasms they will be more than physical. It can be the icing on the cake.

I wish you all to find the love that makes you stupid. The love that makes your heart sing and your brain shut off. Before you find them, I hope you find the one that doesn't and have your heart broken. Everybody's heart should be broken once. It should be broken so that you will appreciate the one that makes it sing.

When we talked about the nerves I meant to bring up masochists. It is completely different from sadism, it is the love of pain. It is the search for extreme nerve excitement. I couldn't find the quote; but someone said that it didn't matter if the experience was good or bad only that it be intense. I don't like, so I don't understand that exactly; but, I kind of get it. A little slap and tickle can be fun, excite the nerves in anticipation of better things. I don't get the extremes.

Emotionally I have usually been pretty stable, not a wide range of emotions and not very strong. Some might say that I was a little cold. That changed over the years, they got wider and stronger. I guess that means that if I meet the love of my life I will get ever dumber when they are around. Oh crud.

When the young lady held my hands, I couldn't think. What happens when I fall in love again? How dumb can I get? I can tell you this much, I would like to be that dumb again just to be around someone. The feeling of not having any fear and only being focused on the other person is heavenly. The little death every time you see them. A lifetime of joy. Lets talk about love, we already talked about orgasm.

Love makes you retarded and nothing, no pain, no fear exist, only that other person. You feel so good that all you want to do is make the other person happy, you are happy just because they exist. I remember the day I met the girl I spoke of. I saw her and got stupid, I was in shock. I couldn't understand why looking at her made all the pain of the world go away, no fear, just her.

I should point out that when I saw her I wasn't excited. I need to explain that, it was not a nervousness love, it was a confused thing. I saw her and had to look at her because when I did, my heart felt lighter. I have not know much joy and have always felt that it was fight or die. Not when I looked at her. It was as if seeing her made everything better, I was not at war with the world, I was in paradise. Blew my little brain didn't understand it at the time.

When someone physically turns you on you get excited. You know, your heart rate increases, your little naught parts wake up, you start thinking real fast. When you meet the love of your life, you calm, your naughty parts are not awake, you start thinking real slow. You go into a trance where they are all you can see and all that matters. I hope you felt that way at least once in your life.

There is a movie coming out called "Flipped" enjoy the trailer. When I looked at my girl, it hurt when I couldn't see her. Seeing her was the relief. Seeing her was the absence of pain. That is how you know it is perfect. Everything else feels less, there is no need to be on the top of your game because there is nothing to fear so your brain can rest.

You can give up hate and still get angry. Hate is the opposite of love, it is constant fear. Anger is more like orgasm, momentary, an outburst. We can choose which we live in, fear or love. We can have orgasms if we fear, we can still get angry if we love; but, we won't act the same way.

Too much hate, it pushes out the love. I prefer love over orgasms. You can still have orgasms and be in love. You can have orgasms and not be in love; but the time in between is torture and orgasms are fun but quick.

I had dinner with a great friend tonight, a young man I used to work with. We had, I hope, a nice talk. Something had agitated him and I hope I was able to provide some perspective. It sucks to get old, you end up with perspective. I hope enjoys this post, maybe it was meant for him, hard to say sometimes.

It is time for me to go to bed. My dog has taken to eating my shoes now, he doesn't like it when I leave and I have put my socks away. Now I have to put away my shoes. My dog hates it when I leave and is happy just to sit under my chair while I write or read. I guess dogs love us, why is beyond me. Wait, maybe they love us because they no reason to fear. Be well.

Tell me when

I like a clean slate, I like forgiveness, I like grace. Grace is unmerited forgiveness. All three take us from sin to forgiveness, none is counted as righteousness. Righteousness is attributed to faith, that is the giving of a clean slate, forgiveness and grace rather than obtaining.

All three require that the heart forgive; but, the mind remember what happened. That is why confession and repentance matter. Think of it backwards, to be forgiven you must admit and repent what you have done. The same is true of those who wish to be forgiven. It is not a paradox, it is simply the difference between receiving and giving, the rules are the same.

Forgiveness is hard, easier to give than accept. I am for true forgiveness, not the baloney of forgetting something. To truly forgive, you must remember. To truly be forgiven, they must remember. That is the tough part of forgiveness, living with the wrongs. We have all done and received them.

I was forgiven by a young man 37 years ago for intentionally slamming a door on his hand and making him lose all of his fingernails. It was incredibly painful, I am sure. I would not want it to happen to me, though I have had worse. It is not about the pain, it is about the wickedness in all of us, including me.

I absolutely refuse to forget the wrongs I have done. I refuse to until I have apologized in person. The person whose hand I damaged, I forgave in person, in front of his mother and him and witnesses. He accepted my apology. I did not accept his acceptance because it was too soon. I could not comprehend him understanding, at 13, that I really meant what I said. His mother knew because I showed up.

Are you willing to face your truth and what you have done. We all suck sometimes. There is a television show that I used to watch about a guy named Earl. He went about trying to make all his mistakes right, what about when you cannot make them right and can only admit, repent and accept? Fixing things is too easy, it is a shortcut.

Now, lets talk about debt. We all, every nation, owes more than it can ever pay. Who does it owe it too? Our children. What if we stopped the madness and eliminated the national debts of all countries, what does it really mean. It means we start from where we are and take care of our own children. It would also mean that we stopped taking out debt, that would cause major deflation.

There is more national debts than can ever be paid. Take the national debt of ever country and divide it by the life expectancy of each of those countries. It is illusionary debt, we cannot pay it. Not one country can pay it in the life expectancy of it's population. It just isn't going to happen.

Lets have a garage sale and eliminate all debt. He must be insane you are saying. NO, I am the only sane one left. Debt is insanity. Whenever I lend money, I never expect to see it again. I do not need that burden. Debt is a promise to have something now in exchange for giving back later; but, we can never promise to give back later, we can die at any time.

The truest form of capitalism does not believe in debt. It is a mutual exchange, not of promises, an exchange. At what point will you fail your promises, we all have one. If the exchange is on the spot, will you steal it back? Just some random thoughts. Be well.

For My Ex-Assistant

Some scientists, unlike that mean old Stephen Hawkings, like aliens and think we will meet them soon. Sorry guys, an inside joke.

City of Oxnard

On Friday, the City of Oxnard City Hall was shut down by the FBI and the Ventura County District Attorney. People had their cell phones taken, their computer passwords and some were questions. Boxes were taken from their offices, including their Public Works Department. People agree that this is not about their high salaries.

What are they looking for, hmmm. Misappropriation of funds, maybe. Why did they take the cell phones? This is going to be a fun ride. One poster mentioned how Oxnard had one theater downtown that wasn't making money so they sank CRA funds into building a multiplex. I wonder who built it.

Eat, Pray, Love

I am sure everyone has heard of the new movie, "Eat, Pray, Love". It looks so nice from the trailers; but, really it is a story of extreme selfishness. It should be called, "Cheat, whine, self-indulge". Here is the real story.

The women married a man, she decided to cheat on him. She got divorced and the man she cheated on her husband with dumped her. She then went on a trip around the world to "find herself". She takes up eastern religion, because obviously that is deeper because it is all about you.

Now, thousands of people are following in her steps, just like good little sheeple. I need to explain something, this is what my ex wanted to do, she wanted to climb all the highest mountains, literally. A life of excitement, except most never get that and neither did my ex. I understand the fantasy of being fee and able to do anything you want, most cannot afford it.

The author was able to do it because she got an advance on a book. I have a long time pet peeve, it is with people who need to screw everything around them in order to "find themselves". For some reason "finding yourself" always seems to require that you become completely selfish and break all of your commitments.

I read an article today, it was about another women who left her husband of 25 years because she wanted a life of excitement. Her husband died six months later; but, she says it was best for both of them. The woman has no soul. He died, how was that better for both of them.

A Rabbi was talking about marriage. He asked if marriage was more about spirit, love or law. A valid question. For too many it appears to be about self. It is supposed to be a union, working together, not about what you get, about what you both can do.

Honor, truth, commitment. Those are morals that are about society. We don't see it promoted too much anymore. Children are raised to have high self esteem, even if undeserved and to consider how things apply to them rather than society. They are taught to make decisions based on relativism rather than right. Things can only get worse.

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal about churches and how they are losing members. The author asks what needs to be done to strengthen the church. The answer is simple, what got it started. The church began with a few hundred people changing the lives to lives of service and telling people what changed them. It focused on salvation rather than sin. It did not concern itself with how many members it gained.

It says in the last days the word will be preached throughout the world and that the church will die off and be persecuted. That is what says in the bible. One must ask why the church would lose relevance and be persecuted. Now here is the tricky question, how did they know at the time that Revelations was written that the word would be preached throughout the whole world.

Let me explain. The man that wrote the book of Revelations said that the word would be carried to every part of the world. That assumes that the church would reach worldwide, ie become pretty big. It did. He then says that as that happens, the church will become weak and be persecuted. An odd thing to expect if you think the church would grow so much. ROFL. I do love a puzzle.

The role of the church is to merely make sure that the word has been spread throughout the world. It has other value; but, that is it's role. Once the role is completed, it ceases to be strong. The church is an instrument that needs to remember why it exists. Heck, it's last official duty is to provide martyrs to be killed, that is what the bible says.

I am a Christian. I am not afraid of the church disappearing, I am afraid of it forgetting to do it's job. I laugh at Christians who are outraged by gay marriage. That is not supposed to be our focus. Do your job, spread the word and do not worry that there is sin in the world, it isn't going anywhere. The bible does not say that the church will conquer Satan, it says it will be the home to martyrs. I assume the church will get real small because there are a limited number of those to be martyred, that means there will be a great falling away. Looks like that is almost done.

If you know anything about Christianity in Europe, you know it already died out there. The number of people who participate in churches in Europe is nill. The English government subsidizes the churches in England. The fact that they accept money form the government is disgusting. The greatest dis-service Ex-President Bush ever did to Christianity was to attempt to give money to churches to provide social services. They took it and compromised their mission. Shame on them. They focused on works rather than faith. Well I didn't know I was going her tonight; but, I shall continue.

I like the church I attend when I can. I asked the head of the church if he preferred Pastor or what, he said "Dale". LOL. I have never once seen them pass around the plate or even say where you were to put your contribution. Not one time. It is a bible church, they read passages and give context and ask questions. That is what the church is supposed to do and he does it wonderfully.

I have seen what passes for Christianity on television, it is pandering to the lowest urges. I have no use for Benny Hinn or the Trinity Broadcasting Network. I have no use for mega-churches. There are pastors out there still trying to preach the word, they will always be there. Too few are talking about what is front of their eyes, too many are talking about what is not important.

The church is not holding any evil back, that should be apparent. It does not need to join in as some do in an attempt to remain. Churches are taking on active gays and lesbians who are unwed as pastors. I missed that in the bible, divorced people aren't allowed to be pastors. By the way, I have no problem with pastors marrying, it is not prohibited.

As the President said, we have freedom to worship, that does not mean we have freedom of religion or to live by our beliefs. The bible said we would have one currency, it said that 2000 years ago, it is now coming. Why aren't the preachers talking about that? For those who read this blog to hear about things other than religion, you might find it less interesting in the future, I plan on discussing religion more.

This blog began by talking about our existence, my first post was on the fact that all we can know for sure is that we exist. I assisted Descartes, by saying that we experience feelings therefore we are. The blog began as a discussion about spirituality, about our nature and our purpose. That has always been the purpose, the most fundamental aspect of my writing is about meaning, our meaning. We all can find the truth inside ourselves, it can be a tough journey, it means delving into your deepest beliefs, they are shown by your choices. Be well.

Pakistan

As I have said before, I do not watch television. I have been reading about what is going on in Pakistan. 20 million people left homeless, 20 million. The number is staggering, it makes Katrina look like a pool party by comparison. If we consider how bad Katrina was and how even our country has not been able to completely bring back New Orleans, how long will it take to even remotely fix Pakistan?

Now, it is being reported that there is a cholera outbreak. We cannot begin to estimate how many people are going to die from this horrible event. The largest natural disaster is reported to be the Haiti earthquake with 250,000 people dying. This could dwarf Haiti. Let us pray for the people there.

I know there are many who are so anti-Muslim that they will be glad about this, some are posting on the news sites. I wish to remind people that most Pakistanis are just like anyone else, just trying to get by and have a comfortable life, watch their kids grow up, get married and have children. Perhaps we can mend some fences by making helping them a higher priority.

CalPers, Villalobos, CIM and Riordan

Riddle me this, ex-Mayor Richard Riordan appointed Mr. Villalobos as a Deputy Mayor. Mr. Villalobos had to leave after 6 months. Mr. Villalobos sat on CalPers board and then left, after leaving he began pitching investments to them. He pitched an investment in CIM Group which is funded by CalPers and Lacers. After losing millions for the pension funds he received tens of millions.

Now here is the tricky question. Mr. Riordan is now saying that the pension funds need to be cut for City employees. They need to be cut because he put crooks on our pension boards, how come he doesn't discuss the hundreds of millions lost because of his poor choices? And don't forget Mr. Broidy of CIM pleaded guilty to bribery of public officials in New York. Hope they all go to jail, it is coming and they cannot run from it or hide it anymore. I told you, all lies eventually show themselves because neither life nor the truth can be held back forever.

I don't know what Snooki is

I have been seeing the name Snooki pop up in news sources a lot recently. Apparently there was some issue because Obama claimed not to know what Snooki is. I don't. Haven't watched television in quite a while and really have no idea who she is. As best I can tell it is some girl on a show about New Jersey. Having said that, I don't know if she is good, bad or indifferent.

Have I detached myself from my community? Should I know who and what Snooki is, will my life somehow be more fulfilling if I do? I don't want to know what Snooki sounds like, I don't want to know anything about her beyond what I do.

I read the papers and see faces of young stars, I don't know them. I have never seen Twilight or True Blood or any of the vampire garbage that is so popular. Does this mean that I am no longer socially relevant? Rather than filling my time with television I prefer to quietly contemplate, eventually I will re-engage with society; but, what is there worth re-engaging with if it is just filled with meaningless chatter?

If the media believes spending all this time discussing a Snooki and whether or not the president knows who she is then the media has little to offer me. It is odd reading the news because so much of it is dedicated to people who I know nothing about. I will assume that the average American knows who Snooki is, probably more than those who know who the president of Russia is or the president of France.

UPDATE

Okay, I read about Snooki on Wikipedia. Sorry I did. And this person deserves media attention because?????? I don't get it.

So Who is this God Fellow?

Being autistic has it's advantages. One of the advantages is that you tend to read people by their actions rather than looks or appearances, we frequently don't understand that look you give us. We live in a universe that was created, the big bang was the method; but, it was still created. Science has no explanation for that. Someday this universe will end, they have no answer for that either. It will end because it will no longer be necessary.

We are sentient beings, self aware, we are all that we can prove exists. You cannot prove, as some scientists claim, that matter exists. Quantum physics, sub-atomic physics, proves that nothing should exist, not time, not matter and not even space. What conclusion do you draw from this? What does it tell us about the nature of who created this universe?

There is a movement to tell you that we are all one consciousness and that if we understand that we can become one again. The big bang theory and the fact that we are separate awareness implies that this is not the answer God is seeking. Variation is the result on an intention to create individual diversity, in thought and emotion. Creation is a tough deal, it means friction and challenge. A rock knows no challenge and never grows. Growth is the only answer to eternal boredom, which would you choose?

If inertia is the greatest force in the universe then how could you ever have a big bang? Science contradicts itself because God and the universe laugh at our attempts to control reality and sentience. The media and government attempt to twist our beliefs, to make the lies come true; but, lies always end up exposing themselves. We are seeing a fundamental unraveling of the lies, they have gone on too long. The lies about the economy, our freedom, our being transitory and unimportant. They are all coming apart and people are nervous and confused.

Everybody knows things are not right in the world anymore. Everybody sees it. Don't think it is just in the United States, it is not, it is worldwide. There is a gentleman named David Icke, he came out about 20 years ago saying that aliens keep us down and that we are infinite oneness and love. 20 years ago he was laughed at, today he sells untold books, is on the radio and television and travels the world speaking in large auditoriums. They come because he also has accurately predicted many crisis well in advance. Why is he so popular? Because people know things are not right and cannot put the pieces together themselves.

If quantum physics is correct and this is a fractal universe. Hmmm, I have some new readers and they may not have read all of the articles about quantum physics. A fractal universe means that basically nothing we observe exists on the level we observe it, it is a representation of a sub-atomic reality. A projection, that is why sub-atomic and atomic levels react differently. Now I will give my explanation for the God thing.

What if we were one consciousness and all alone. That is what the bible says. What if that being found a way to split the consciousness through thought. You see it says in the beginning was the word and the word was God. Self awareness. When asked his name God said his name was "I Am". Self awareness. People never really talk much about that part of the bible.

If you were all that existed it would be exciting at first, you could do anything you wanted; but, there would be nobody to interact with. Consciousness is not like creating a rock. If you created a series of robots, it would not be the same. If you created a series of beings that had to follow your directions, it would not be the same. If you created a set of beings with their morals implanted, it would not be the same. No, for true relationship, you need beings that can truly be themselves, free will.

To create beings with self awareness and freewill might just require giving up some of your own self awareness. Nothing from nothing leaves nothing. Consider the trinity, the father, son and holy ghost. Described as three beings, separate, yet one. The trinity freaks out so many people and it really shouldn't. Three aspects of the same being. I mean really how many faces do you wear in the world. Different personalities for different situations.

Consider the possibility that instead, God gave of his totality so that we could all have our individuality. Consider it for a moment. The man that wrote "The Exorcist" believed that we were the result of God becoming schizophrenic. He believed the purpose of life was to go back to being one. I disagree, if we decided to give this splitting a try, then we have all eternity to change our minds. But therein lies the rub, the further we become different, the harder to pull them all back.

I do not wish oneness with everyone. Heck, some people I don't even want to know. I want to be me, even if some people don't like me. We can learn to not deal with people we don't like or to do so civilly if forced to deal with them. I do not like my ex-wife, as a person I do not like her. Having said that, I still helped her when she no one else to turn to. I assure you she would not and has not done the same for me. People are always surprised by the people I will help and most that are helped are not grateful for more than a second. Few if any loans I have made have ever been paid back and I still loan money.

Consider the universe kindergarten for new sentient beings. A time to learn to be separate and together. A time to learn relationships. A time to learn about attraction and rejection. Hasn't that been your experience? If we were all one once, we are not anymore and guess what, some of us are not coming back. There will never again be a oneness, it is not a goal to be sought. The New Testament says so. Jesus poured himself because it was not a thing to be sought.

I do not know how many of my readers are atheists, its okay, skip the posts that are a problem; but, please know that I write about my thoughts and I am a Christian. I do not tell others to believe, I do not knock on people's doors and attempt to convert, I only say what I think. I don't care what other people believe, decide for yourselves; but, don't attempt to restrict my beliefs or my right to say them. Fortunately, having a small and inconsequential blog allows me this freedom. I have no advertisements and do not seek anyone's money.

For those who do read this pitiful little blog, in the next few weeks I am to attend a meeting with Google and will be representing a company that wants to be bought by Google. I am just helping a friend. Perhaps I should tell them to read my blog, I have spoken about the Google-government connection many times. LOL.

If you wish to understand God, look at the universe around you, look inside yourself and at others, look at the dynamics of life, it is about relationship. If you do not believe in God then you assume that everything is random, is it? I don't see randomness in the universe or in life. If you prefer to believe that everything follows a firm set of rules then all you need to do is explain your self-awareness, does that follow a set of material guidelines, I think not.

For those who do not believe in God, how can you believe in Love? If you believe the universe is material, how can you explain love? Try as you might, you cannot even explain sentience. Love is completely unexplainable. You can discuss why we love; but, explain what it is. Is it just a chemical reaction, I don't think so. Explain how it feels to see a baby for the first time or when a soldier jumps on a grenade to save his friends.

What then is God? What is our purpose? Where do we go from here? What does it matter, what matters is that we have an eternity of infinite variation and change and growth rather than one of eternal boredom. Be well. I hoped you enjoyed this rather obscure examination. I really didn't feel like talking about the BP Well, the mosque at ground zero or some actresses new hairdo. My alternate post was going to be about ladies legs and thighs, do you think I chose well? Good Night.