On Friday I put my house up for sale. Today the realtor came by to take pictures. It hit me that I have to get rid of 50 years of stuff. It is a big job. I called a friend to borrow his trailer so I can send things to the dump.
Over the past four years I have moved about 5 times; but, all my stuff stayed at the house. The ex was still here. I told my landscaper that he could have all my tools. I have a lot of tools. I don't mind giving away my stuff, it is just things. It is more the thought of going through it all. Sort of the last vestige of my marriage.
I don't look forward to sorting through my memories. The ex's betrayal was not just her sleeping with another man. It was a betrayal of our life together, a disregard for our family and our memories. She did not take into account what the impact would be on our lives, she only thought of the moment. The moment is over now comes the hangover.
The odd thing is that I am the one left to clean up her mess. I must empty the house and close the door. I will be the one to turn off the lights. When I leave it will be to go to a much smaller place, perhaps a studio apartment. What to keep and what to get rid of.
On one level, I am prepared to throw everything out. Start over again with a clean slate. Yet, somethings were my parents stuff and have sentimental value. It is going to be a long week. I hope yours goes well.
