60,000 Hits and some thoughts.

Hard to believe. This blog will have passed 60,000 hits tomorrow. I have been writing this for about 7 years and have killed the whole blog twice; but, like me it just keeps chugging along. I wonder which posts different people were interested in. Pastor Daniels has been the most searched and read and that makes me feel good, to know that she is remembered.

I want to send my thanks to my readers for keeping an eye on me and my writings. I estimate that I have written somewhere around 3.000 plus posts. I don't know for sure as I deleted the first two versions of this blog. Sometimes I regret that. Currently it is my plan to retire in about 10 weeks and I don't know what part this blog will play in my life at that time. Maybe I shall keep it going until I hit 100,000 views.

I was at work today and talking to someone I have known for decades, she asked me for my blogs address and I gave it to her. She said she wanted to follow it after I retire so we could stay in touch. I pulled up some random post I had made about Transhumanism and she was surprised to learn about it at all. I had her read the heading, the one where I point out that you matter and she said that it is amazing how many people don't think they do matter.

Perhaps I shall turn the blog into a sort of diary after I retire and posts pictures of meals that I have or my dog; but, I doubt it. This blog has never really been about me. I discuss things I have gone through to make points. While they are true, they are meant to be examples of lessons I have learned or experiences that we have or may have. For those who don't know me personally, I really have had two heart attacks, died once, got divorced and just had my first granddaughter (the best part of still being alive). For those who do know me, I wonder if this has helped them to understand me better, I hope so. I actually write to those who don't know me, that is why it is anonymous.

Sometimes this blog has helped me just by forcing me to put my thoughts or feelings into words. I don't regret the things I have written; but, I have deleted a couple of individual posts for different reasons. I regret deleting the one about my aunts funeral the most. She was my last elder that mattered to me and the family. I have four elders left, none of those four came to my fathers funeral and I will not go to theirs. I believe my brother and sister will also skip those funerals if we even hear about them. Funerals are the family and that brings us back to my aunts funeral.

About two years before my aunt died my wife left me for another man. My aunt was not happy and did not want my ex to come to her annual Christmas party; but, I begged her to let my ex and my daughters see her, I did not attend as I was sick (my blood pressure had spiked and I didn't let anyone know). She let her come and was civil as I requested

When my aunt passed away her son said he did not want my ex at her funeral. While I did not wish to see her at the time, I asked my cousin to consider allowing her to come and he said she had to ask.The decision was not up to me, it wasn't my mothers funeral and I respected the families wishes. I was told my ex believed she had a right to attend; but, nobody has a right to attend a funeral against the wishes of the family. When a different aunt died, my wife and I both attended. Heck, I made a lot of the funeral arrangements. One of her ex-husbands showed up and gave an eloquent speech. I had not seen him in well over two decades and was impressed.

It is highly unlikely that my ex will die before me; but, if she did die first I would attend the funeral if the family, including my children, wanted me to. If, as is most likely, I died first, I would want my ex to feel free; but, not required to come. It might help the children and that is good enough for me. Personally I don't care about my funeral, I am much more interested in the party that follows and I will not be here for either. I wrote about all this at the time; but, one of my son in laws posted absurd comments and eventually I deleted the post, that was a mistake. I think the issue deserves to be written about and that others might find value in the issues as others face them also. I think if I had not deleted the post, it would be interesting for me and others to read again; but, it is gone.