Monday, July 28, 2014

Babies and Strange Days

I drove out to the desert to see my granddaughter, she is slightly more than 4 months old now. I am generally considered pretty good with babies. She was beautiful if a little chunky. She giggled and smiles and played with her pacifier. I crawled my fingers like a spider towards her and she tried to do the same without success. I have never had a baby try and imitate me doing this, not even my own kids.

I don't have illusions about babies even if they are mine. Kids are their own people and I always treat them that way. I did not believe that my granddaughter was the prettiest baby when she was born; but, newborns often are not pretty. I figured that she would get a few pounds on and look better and she does, she is quite cute. That is just the way that babies grow and I have been taking care of them for 46 years. Neither my ex nor I would ever worry about one another taking care of any baby.

Many years ago I was working in a different industry and my wife was doing child care out of our house. She had a baby she took care of for over a year and it was a slug. I did not dislike the baby; but, it wasn't responsive to much. Some babies are and others take longer to be responsive, some never are. That is just reality and this baby was dull and non-responsive even at 1. That is highly unusual. The baby was my bosses child and I didn't know how to tell him what I had noticed about his baby, so, I didn't. I don't know what I would say to my daughter if I thought her child was slow. While I am not faced with that dilemma, I think the question is worthy of my consideration.

When I was a baby, maybe 3. I was in the car with my older brother and sister and my mother asked us a question about why the moon was bright. I figured that somehow it was lit by the sun even though I knew the sun was not out at night. Try asking a three year old that question and then consider that I explained my logic that allowed me to know the answer. My mother turned to my father and called him by name and asked if he heard what I had just said. She said there was something different about me and I heard it, I don't think I was meant to hear it.

I owe a lot to my mother and father. My mother knew I was unique and while a strict disciplinarian, she promoted my uniqueness. It must have been tough for her. She gave me the greatest gift a parent can give a child, she told me it was okay to be me. Growing up the world told me that I was a freak and that I had to change and be dumber. I was not good with that and I found ways to compensate, humor being very important and being effective being even more important. My mother and family told me that it was okay to be me even if it was sometimes uncomfortable to be around. My sister's husband also accepted me and to me and my brother he is blood and that will never change, ever.

What if I had been dull. What if my mother had asked me the same question and I said, it is bright and nothing more. When a 3 year old recognizes reality, we are impressed. What if I had just said, moon? What if I had been dull? What if my mother had asked my father if he noticed how slow I was? It could have happened. I am glad that my granddaughter is smart. Is that wrong?