Tuesday, September 14, 2010

My Car is Mad at Me

My car was getting cranky and I knew. It is 8,000 miles past service and the brakes needed to be fixed. As a consequence, the car is in the shop and I am stuck at home. Pout. I am also suffering from allergies. Great day. LOL.

Being stuck at home I was reading the news. One site I visit occasionally is called "Above Top Secret". They post about different things and bring up odd news stories. The site is fairly well moderated and some of the posters make a real effort to study up on what they write. A new thread is about whether or not Misogyny is ruining the male female relationships.

As I mentioned a young friend of mine is getting married. I have also said that I plan to marry again someday, I believe in marriage. The first thing about the thread I read was that everybody that posted believed that the male female relationships are not going well, nobody disagreed about that point. That in and of itself is horrifying.

So what is ruining relationships? I believe it is selfishness. People were raised and society told them that they have to look out for themselves first and they do. It is the search for personal pleasure rather than team work. It is not just relationships that suffer because of this, it is everything. We see it in our work places, we see it in politics, we see it everywhere.

When I got married, my wife told me that we should always put ourselves first. I disagreed, I said we should always put the kids first. She had been raised differently that I. People do not wish to have children in the west because they do not wish to have personal freedom impinged upon, selfishness.

How have we come to such a situation, it is not natural? We are designed and wired to have and love children. Our biology is designed for it, our greatest pleasure is in the sexual act. You can talk all you want about overpopulation, that is not the issue, people no longer wish to have children. Having children forces you to be less selfish.

You cannot love if you think of yourself first. You may think it is love; but, it is not. Love is putting another persons happiness before your own. Love is not a feeling, it is not lust, it is a way of thinking. It is the opposite of worrying about what you get out of a relationship. It is worrying about what you bring to the relationship. It is about both people feeling fortunate to be with the other.