Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I Am Too Busy

Drat, I neglect my blog. I am working on too many things and too much at stake for others. That is just the business side, the family side is as confusing. LOL.

On a spiritual level, I have been asked to assist a pastor. I told him that I did not qualify to preach and really don't have any interest in such a thing. I enjoy speaking before groups and am not in anyway intimidated by such a thing, I also do have firm beliefs in God and spirituality. Kinda hard to hide that from my long time readers.

I do not feel that I am capable of telling people what the truth is, I have no such authority and have never claimed such a thing. I think I have some good questions and some novel answers. I admire people who dedicate their lives to helping others think about spiritual things. I am not one of them, I am a practitioner, I live it, I live my life by what I believe and my beliefs are constantly under question by me. I have that right, the right to question my beliefs.

God tells prophets answers, they accept them and repeat them. I don't fit that model, I have questions and don't believe that I am capable of being all knowing. If we saw all the answers, we could only handle so much, we are limited and need time to decide what we agree with and disagree with.

I have a relative who I spoke to tonight and he really pressed me on some spiritual and philosophical beliefs. I give the answers as how I understand them at the moment in time when are talking and tell him that I am good with going deeper. That in and of itself means that I don't have answers only theories, suppositions and my understanding which keeps evolving.

I am unsure of how I should work with this pastor. Some people would tell me to pray to God for the answer and I will not do such a thing. I believe in free will and want as much as I can so that I can be me, how can I deny others the same by giving answers rather than asking questions.

We are done with that. I gave an Auditor and document today that I had written about ten years ago and never published. When his audit is over I have told him that I will give him the address of my blog. LMAO. He may tell others that do not like your little Pimpernel and they may attempt to use it against me, this is a choice he will make months from now after his work is done. Is this not amusing, I am writing to him from his past to his now. You read this knowing that I am speaking to him and that he will not know what I am saying until later. He will know my thoughts; but, long after I have had them and moved on in my thinking.

I do hope my readers enjoy this little experiment. It is right out of the "Matrix". Remember the old lady and the first time she meets Neo, he knocks over a vase. She says to him, something akin to, the thing that will really burn you later was that I said, "don't worry about the vase". No worries, just evolution. Another obtuse and strange rambling on my blog. Take it as you will, it is not about me, it is about you. Be well.