Saturday, February 12, 2011

Heard some bad news

Sorry guys, no big post tonight unless my mind completely wanders. My best female friend had a tragedy in her life. A young relative died in a freak accident. Freak accidents suck. It tripped my friend out and that is understandable. She is a strong woman; but, some stuff is very heavy. She will overcome.

We have lost one of the special ones, her relative was quite unique and brilliant. Special. One of my best male friends lost a son, that was heart wrenching. Sons should not die before fathers, that is how we all feel. I do not know for a fact, I only know what I feel. The older we get, the harder it is to watch the younger ones go. We would prefer to go first and not out of selfishness, there is so much more that we can do and the young don't get the chance to prove themselves.

That is how it feels, it may not be how it is. Perhaps they get it sooner and don't have to stick around; but, how can you tell that to a parent? There was a time that I was convinced that one of my children would die before I did. I prepared myself for it because I had to. It was shear hell and it almost came true a couple of times. As we age we have to accept that it does occur sometimes, I hate that; but, it is what it is.

I knew a woman, she hated God, she believed in him; but, hated him. She hated him because a young child had died and she said she couldn't love a God that took young children. I feel the opposite, this place ain't that great. Maybe only the good do die young. Hey, if there is nothing after this life than there is no God. If there is something after this life then it is probably a better place. We are all just doing time on planet earth and I believe it is so we can better understand our decision making, define ourselves.

Now, if there is life after this life than we are here for a reason. That is why I am completely against suicide. It is a philosophical issue. The apostle Paul spoke well, he wished to leave this place; but, he said his job was to give it all up till the end. He was an amazing guy. Sometimes I wonder about the people in the bible, how their lives seemed to them. If you have read any of the apostles you should wonder how they saw their lives, not like we do. They got up, hit the restroom, ate, went out to get abuse, came home, ate, talked about their day and went to bed. Peter got nailed to a cross and had it turned upside down, that doesn't sound fun.

Imagine Noah's life. What a joke that was. God talks to him one day (like that is easy) and he tells Noah to build a big boat. Wait, it gets better, then he tells Noah that he is going to kill everyone on the earth. I bet Noah was a pretty chipper guy, how do you take what he was told. Yeah, everyone is gonna die but you? You think he was happy, I doubt it.

After everyone died, Noah got hammered. I mean the guy got piss drunk and passed out. His sons found him and one of them laughed at him, the others covered him. Why did Noah get piss drunk? Nobody ever asks these questions. Noah knew God and got sloppy drunk and God loved him. Why? Because God knew how challenged Noah had been and knew that Noah needed a break. If you never had it good, God will give you a break. The break was small for Noah, everyone was dead except the small remnant. He knew it was coming and had to watch it, knowing what it meant. That sounds heavy.

I drove down the street. It was dark, that happens when it is 11:00 at night, it gets dark. The street lights illuminated the road like so many pearls on a string. I followed the lights even more than the lines on the road. The lights knew the way. I traveled till I got to where we were to meet. I like that, sort of Raymond Chandleresque. Be well.

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