Sunday, October 4, 2015

A Very Old Drawing

Those who know me as an adult see me in a certain light. Many see me as a organizational planner of some type. Some know me as a political or contractual strategist. Most see me in some technical light, accounting and systems often come up. Those who know me the best think of me as a legal strategist or a predictive analyst. While I have worked in all those areas, my approach has always been one of an artistic bent.

While my readers may believe my artistic interests are mainly about writing, in fact, my first love was drawing and then stage. I cannot say which of the two was closest to my heart; but, I can say that I am no longer able to draw at all due to my arthritis which was caused by my years of gymnastic preparation. In fact, I find it difficult to write checks or even sign my name and the doctors have wanted to replace my knuckles for at least 20 years to alleviate the pain from the arthritis. I will never draw again and have known that for quite some time. The last picture I drew was about 29 years ago and was of my wife. I have no idea of what happened to it, I hope it was destroyed.

After moving out of my house because of my divorce, I had to throw out a few tons of belongings. The remaining belongings were put in storage in another state. Last week I began sifting through and throwing out the majority of what remains. I ended up going through too many boxes of stuff to count. While examining one of the boxes I came across  some of my drawings. My children and their spouses are only aware of one of my drawings, it was done when I was 12 and is a panorama of visions from the perspective of characters originally drawn in Mad Magazine. It was a fluke, a practice drawing with no intent that acquired a life of it's own and ended up as part of a piece of furniture, a table, that was also an experiment. It was never a serious drawing until it was almost complete. It was a scratch pad.

During college I worked as a cabinet maker. I have only two of my pieces, the others had all been pre-sold. Most on commission. My love was all the arts. People don't see me in that light. When my son-in-laws saw the one example of my art that they know of, it was a comic piece on a table that was not meant to last. It was a test of a new material for wood. LOL. They have never seen what I was taking my art to. They have never seen a serious drawing of mine. Well, while going through the boxes I found one and I don't know how many more.

Both of my son in laws are very talented artists. One of them is a professional artist who is well respected within his craft. I don't believe I could have ever matched his skill. It may have taken him longer; but, everything he has done has amazed me and I am fortunate to have one of his first painting, it hangs in my hallway. My other son in laws painting is in my bedroom, he never finished it; but, I like it anyways.

My children and their spouses never saw my art other than the one table piece. Juvenilia with no intent. The son in laws were surprised that I had been interested in drawing and art. They based their assumptions about me on what I did for work to feed my family. I was not good enough, in my opinion, to be a professional artist. In either case, I thought it was more important to follow another career, one of public service and I did not and I don't regret it. I also do not regret having been in gymnastics and ruining my hands. I believe I made the right choice and did what was best.

The next time I go to my storage facility I shall retrieve one of my drawings and post it here for all to see and judge. I will decide later whether or not to also post a picture of the one piece that they have already seen. I was a better artist than writer. It was more expressive of my feelings. It was more truthful and heartfelt than anything else I have ever used to express my feelings. Art is a way to express that which one cannot verbalize.

When I do post the drawing perhaps it will show my readers another side of me rather than just my analytical side. I hope so. Peace.

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