A Little Drive - Chapter 3

Chapter One: The Bum

Chapter Two: Stuart

Chapter Three: What's Your Destination?

Both Sunday and Monday were spent installing the new parts into Charles' car. The car was an old Chevy Cavalier that had originally been white but was now some sort of dirty yellowish white as it had never been repainted. The interior of the car was sparse with a decaying sort of fabric on the ceiling. Charles took pride in the radio as he had picked it up and it had a cd player. The radio had not cost much but the car didn't have a working radio when he bought it. The speakers sat in two plastic boxes on the back seat. They had once been attached to a stereo he had been given for Christmas when he was 16 and when the record player broke he simply kept the speakers. He kept his tools in the trunk of the car, some fairly expensive Craftsman tools that he had received from Stuart and Dee Dee as a birthday present and some other tools that were made in China. He also kept the truck cluttered with his spare tire, jack, a case of oil, a gallon of anti-freeze, a gas can and an umbrella he had bought at a dollar store.

Having decided that rather than trying to move out of his apartment the same day that he left, it would be easier to stay and Stuart's and leave from there and it would also be cheaper. He spent Tuesday moving out of his apartment and into Stuart's house and saying good bye to the people he lived next to. He also hoped to have a chance to spend some time with his brother before he left.

By the time he settled into Stuart's house, it was about five o'clock in the evening, so he had dinner with Dee Dee and Stuart. Sitting at the dinner table with them made him feel a little numb on the inside, it reminded him of when he was a small boy and had to go to bed early so that he would be ready for school the next morning. On those days he would always get a sort of emptiness in his stomach that felt like fear and he never understood why.

"I'll be you're real excited about going,: said Dee Dee. "Where will you go first?"

"I thought I would go over to San Francisco for half a day and then head down to Los Angeles and see Hollywood and Disneyland. From there, I was going to head across to Tucson to see Uncle Jack and Aunt Melissa, then to Florida, New Orleans and up to New York and Boston. For the return trip I thought I would take the northern route through Chicago."

"Yeah and what are you going to do when you've finished your little trip", asked Stuart.

"I'm not sure, that's what I am going to think about while I'm on the road", Charles said while taking another bite of his meatloaf. "I want something different than what I have now; but, I'm not sure what. I don't want to wake up some morning and be like Phil, 40 and drunk every night, not liking myself and trying to screw someone out of a dollar. And I don't want to work in a factory from nine to five. I used to think that I would try to make a million dollars; but, when I tried to think of how I started to look at other people I know who want that and I don't think I want to be like them. They are all either stealing, dealing or so wrapped up in themselves that you don't even want to be around them."

Dee Dee sat quietly while Stuart and Charles talked; then, when Charles finished what he was saying she began, "You know Charlie, when I was in high school I used to be in my churches choir and I remember one week the minister read something from the bible. It was about a man who claimed to have tried everything and he said that all was useless, not pleasure chasing, not power, not beauty, not fame, not wealth, nothing except God. His conclusion was that one should just be content with life and believe in the Lord. When I heard him say it I thought he was being sort of silly. I thought that if I only had a good job and my own apartment, a nice car, then I would be happy. I got a nice job over at the factory, moved into my own apartment and I even bought a four year old Camaro. At first it was fantastic. I was free from my parents control and I had plenty of money. I must have been making $600 a week; but, after a couple of months the newness wore off and I wanted something else; but, like you, I didn't know what. Anyways, one night I was watching this old Humphrey Bogart movie and in the movie Bogart says to the bad guy that he knows what the gangster wants, he wants more and Bogart says that he will never get enough. The bad guy says that is what he wants and that he hasn't got enough and he probably never will. It started me thinking and I came to the conclusion that the guy in the bible might just be right. I sure don't know anyone who is satisfied with what they have. Even the biggest corporations in the world are always trying to make more. So, I decided that I would just be satisfied with whatever I got out of life and started looking at what I had rather than at what I wanted."

When Dee Dee finished, Stuart asked her for another beer and then asked Charles if he needed to do anything else to his car to get it ready for the trip. "I think I'm all set; but, I haven't what I will keep all of my stuff in", Charles replied.

"I might just have a good idea for that," said Stuart. "My boss has a car that's called and Excalibur and it has a box strapped to the back of it. I think we might be able to do something similar, maybe we can bold some sort of box to your roof and you could stuff your things in it. We could also bolt it to the trunk; but, then we will have to get you another side mirror because if we put it on the trunk it will block your rear view mirror.

"That sounds good", said Charles. Maybe I should go to Walmart and get a steamer trunk and then if we bolt it to the roof I won't have to worry about the wind blowing stuff out because I can just put a lock on the latch",

Stuart frowned, "I guess that will be okay if you want to spend the extra money."

At 7:30 they all sat down to watch a lip sync show where people voted for who did the best job. After that they watched a crime show and when it was over Dee Dee and Stuart headed off to bed and spend some time entangled in a knot. As soon as they left, so did Charles and he went off to see his friend Dave.

Upon arriving at Dave's house, he was confronted with what appeared to be a small gathering of Dave's friends. They were watching "Cops" and every time the cops would mention a drug, the party goers would all take a hit of pot out of a two foot tall bong. When the show was over someone put on MTV and Dave and Charles went into the kitchen.

"Well Chuckie, I guess we won't see much of you for awhile", said Dave through glassy eyes and sticky speech. "You want some of this weed? It's pretty kick ass?"

No thanks Dave, I just came by to say goodbye and see how your doing." Charles said.

Dave said, "That's cool. Me, I'm just kicking back, partying and trying to make a buck or two. I saw Lewis a couple of days ago, he wanted some acid. Man, that guy is nuts. He started talking this strange shit about how cell phones are the first step in a conspiracy to get everyone to put these things in their brains that would make you do whatever they want you to. He says that he is one of the few who really understands this. That dude is totally spent."

Charles said, "I remember when you first introduced me to him. He was telling me about meditation and I thought that he sounded like he knew what he was saying and that he seemed pretty smart. Later I found that he knew the words but not the meaning. He just kept getting worse talking about whatever bizarre thing he heard and believing it and slowly burning himself out with all that acid and ecstasy. He couldn't hold a job, couldn't meet a girl and we all started to laugh at him more and more because of all the messed up things he said and does. He's not the only one though, I mean, none of us has gotten that far. That's part of the reason I'm leaving. Shit, you know that half the people I know haven't even graduated high school and not one of us is making over $20 bucks an hour. What the fuck is happening, I mean where are we going to be in ten years? I just don't see a destination".

Dave laughed, "Too deep guy, too deep. I know where I'm gonna be man. Right here, doing what I want with one shitload of money."

Charles and Dave spent the rest of the night reminiscing about cars, times and places. At three in the morning Charles went back to Stuart's to sleep with the visit making him feel like leaving even more.