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A Sad Call

Today has been interesting. I will skip most of what has gone on. I cannot remember, I just received a call from one of my most wonderful loved ones. She is a lady who lives in Portland and has a heart of gold. The good kind, strong and still sweet. She told me that someone we both know is terminal.

The lady who is terminal never smoked, a health freak. She got lung cancer and it spread throughout her body. I remember why she didn't smoke, someone she loved died from it and did smoke. I smoke and my doctors are always frustrated because my lungs are fine.

The lady who is dying and I had a odd relationship. We only ever met online, she is smart and tricky. I enjoy both. She took umbrage with me, not hard to understand. LOL. I can be quite annoying. She also was very helpful to many people and thought about her position. I cried when I heard she was dying in such a way. We all live the human experience and die; sometimes it is a hard death.

At one time, we had discussed getting together, just to meet. I am thinking I may need to go to the Southeast and do so before she dies. Not to discuss any problems we had, to discuss how she helped others. I may instead write her, she may not wish to meet me or be around anyone other than family. People should be given their choices, especially when they are leaving.

I used to ask a question. The question was, "If you knew you only had 24 hours left before you died, what would you do?" I was a gearhead, I raced cars. Gearheads always give the same answer. Get a very fast car, drive it to it's limits and go head first into a wall. Hey, that is the answer for gearheads. Over the years my answer has changed.

Today, if I knew I only had 24 hours to live, I would spend it in quiet conversation with loved ones saying goodbye. Death holds absolutely no fear for me, I welcome it when it's time comes. Pain, on the other hand, is still an annoyance. The pain of cancer is great. The lady who is dying did some manipulative things with me, I cannot wish her the type of ill that cancer brings because I believe she did me wrong, many have. She is a brilliant soul that made her own way and took her own consequences, courage is always admirable.

How can we hate a terrorist who is willing to give their own life because of what they believe and then honor our own soldiers who give their lives. Neither chose the war. It can never be about being right, it has to always be about making things better or we always lose.

Dying from cancer is a miserable experience. I wish it on nobody. My ex's father is dying from diabetes, or so I have been told. I don't wish him that pain. If the ex was dying, I would not wish such pain. It is okay to be angry over the pain others have caused us, it is not okay to wish them ill. The young lady who is dying and I have no issues, I don't. I wish her comfort, I pray for her comfort. I don't have to, I choose to because life is just a series of mistakes and lessons to be learned.

Purity is Bad

You have to love the title. Purity, we are generally taught that we should seek purity, I disagree. Purity is the lowest form of existence. Let us consider what the word means, it means something is simple. All truly useful things are impure.

Gold, in it's purist form is useless. Gold in it's purist form is weak and is not a very good metal. Steal on the other hand is very useful. The things that are the most useful in this world are combinations of different materials. A potato tastes good; but, put it in a stew and it tastes even better.

Pure emotions are also bad. Pure anger or pure love are unthinking. For emotions to be managed so that we meet the higher calling of working together we must have combinations of emotions. Purity is not the absence of filth, it is the absence of everything other than oneself. Purity is boring. We can combine things and make new and exciting things, better things. We make mistakes along the way and that is the surprise we call life.

I like hamburgers; but, come on, add some bacon and some cheese, some tomato and a pickle. That is a better burger. Lets not forget some Worcestershire sauce and garlic in the meat and some ketchup. Most of our problems come from purity, a lack of depth. When we become single minded we screw up everything because others cease to matter.

There are some that claim to seek purity of race, they have done some pretty rotten things. The Nazis loved racial purity and were so set on it that they proceeded to kill those who were not the same as them. Narcissists like purity, they want everyone to be just like them. Many of us can only accept others having the same shortcomings as us, they are not entitled to have their own.

I don't have a big problem with people who are gay, it is just that I could never be, I like the difference that a woman's body has from mine. I know what a male body is and how it feels, being a man it is hard not to know. I like the fact that a woman smells and feels and looks different then me, it is always a nice surprise and I can never know it fully.

Purity is boring. Variations are risky; but, oh what possibilities await. The royal families used to only marry each other, this led to inbreeding and caused hemophilia in many of the men. Those of mixed races tend to be the healthiest, they get the best of both worlds often.

How we grow is by learning to be impure, managing our mix of emotions and choosing how we will deal with them. A great chef must likewise learn to mix ingredients well, the proper mixtures are infinite and delicious. An eternity of purity would be hell.

I have spoken before about outliers, those ingredients that don't seem to make sense, they don't really fit in with anything. Outliers are catalysts for new combinations. When it is time to try something different, you need something different.

I seem to recall that hydrogen is the purest element. Hydrogen is colorless, odorless, nonmetallic and tasteless. It is pure. Pretty boring and fairly useless, in fact if present it can mess up the making of metals.

If we love difference, we love others. If we love sameness, we love ourselves. Pure and good do not mean the same thing. Good means a positive influence, pure means single. Good means to overcome evil, if the world were pure there would be nothing to overcome and therefore no good, no evil, just boredom.

Lies from experts

The linked article is from the Christian Science Monitor, it asks if birthright citizenship is in the Constitution. Professor John Eastman is intentionally misrepresented. Examine closely, he is not quoted he is paraphrased. The statement from him comes out that illegals are not subject to the jurisdiction of the United States and therefore neither are their children who are born here. If he is a professor of law he would know that was incorrect. We drafted all kinds of people who were the children of illegals. I believe he was answering what the rules would be if we eliminated birthright citizenship.

If you read the article you will find that "defenders of the 14th Amendment" say the exact same thing that I wrote about prior. Why is it the "defenders" are not named? This whole game is not about illegals, it is about making citizenship a privilege that you must earn. The intent is to change the language so that naturalized is the issue and naturalized will mean that you have earned the privilege that is earned by having done military or other government service.

They have been trying to sell us on this idea for decades. They teach servicemen and women that those who do not do military service are less deserving. It is garbage. People in the military should be taught that they are protecting our right to choose. I believe that government service should be the highest calling, I don't want it to be mandatory to have rights, like the right to vote. Mandatory government service is slavery. I also do not believe in the draft, it is morally wrong. By the way, I come from a family where most were in the military, most joined.

On a side note, I ate nachos tonight. My stomach was not ready for it and I paid. I guess I should have stuck to soup; but, it sure was nice to have a hearty meal. Be well.

Unemployment, Taxes and Pensions

Lets start with the fact that our children cannot get jobs. Youth and Unemployment. They cannot get jobs because WE screwed up and trashed the economy by taking out loans that we never expected to pay back. "People borrowed money that they did not have, to buy things they did not need, to impress people they did not like." You can blame the banks and the regulators; but, in the end we took the loans. I did not, by we, I mean our generation.

State and local governments across this nation are being asked to either cut services, layoff employees or take cuts in the pensions that retirees and existing employees were promised and worked for. The employees that get laid off are the youngest ones, our children. In addition, current employees are being asked to vote on what benefits future employees will get, again we are voting on the burden we will place on our children.

Is this who we want to be? Many of our generation are saying that they are already sharing the burden; but, we created it so we should. Do wish to leave our children with a third world reality while we get "what we worked for". I would argue that we already got much of ours by creating the debt our children will have to pay. Some government employees understand this and are attempting to share the burden. The City of Hermosa Beach is a good example.

I cannot retire for four years at the earliest, my health is not spectacular and I really don't wish to work for my employer anymore. If given the choice, I would work additional years and pay more into the system rather than completely sell out the next generation. I support having my salary cut 10% and increasing my contribution to my pension and benefits. I have stated this to my union representatives.

Even if we take the cuts that I propose, our children still have a bleak outlook. It is doubtful most will own their own homes, be able to have a wife stay at home and raise the children or even have children in wedlock. Baby boomers, like Billy Joel, may claim that they didn't start the fire; but, will they take the opportunity to take the hit for their children (Mr. Joel asks towards the end of the son "But when we are gone will it still go on)? The baby boomers had the greatest lifestyle in the history of the world, time to payback. The baby boomers have consistently been the most selfish generation in history and the most self satisfied.

It is truly a question of balance and fairness. The question should be how much can we contribute and how much can we expect of others. I believe that because people are living longer that the new employees should work a little longer. Sorry young employees; but, when the retirement ages were set, the average worker only lived to about 62, you live till 75 and it is expected to increase. I would raise the retirement age by 5 years and raise the amount contributed by todays employees by the same percentage, share the pain by the same percentage.

Now comes the toughest part, people who are already retired. I would not cut back on what they get; however, I would not give cost of living increases for five years unless inflation skyrockets. My reasoning is simple, retired people cannot change their position, especially if they have been retired for more than 5 years because the skill sets are often lost.

One final thing, I would immediately start a new Work Progress Administration so that the youth can get jobs and be taught by the more experienced workers who have been laid off. Rather than make the unemployed homeless and/or pay them money for not working, I would have three tiers of government programs. The first would be for the disabled and underage who cannot work, the second would be an employment program (WPA) for those who wist to work and the third would be for those who can work; but are unwilling to (that group gets only food).

I would not pay women for having children out of wedlock, I would give them a supply of condoms and the pill. If they chose to have the children, I want them to work. We have a created a system that benefits people to make bad choices, across the board. We need to create a system that benefits people for making good choices.

As I have said previously, we should tie peoples pensions to their productivity by making them invest in the companies and organizations that they work for. We don't have to worry about deceitful workers compensation claims if we do so because their own co-workers will turn them in. We can also expect a decrease in thievery if you know your co-worker will turn you in because he doesn't want to work forever. Oddly enough, people will even want to have demanding bosses who know what needs to be done so that all can benefit.

We need to stop trying to make the future the other guys problem, it is our problem and we need to work together and share. I wrote about sharing before, it is good for the soul and character. Our children will appreciate it more if we share the burden with them and we will feel better knowing that we did not leave them with a horrible future. At least that is what I am thinking about.

Two New Readers

A friend stopped me today and mentioned that she had begun reading my blog and another person asked me for the address. My blog is certainly a small thing; but, something I enjoy writing. I felt bad about not being able to add much recently due to the stomach flu.

I did not begin this blog believing that it would actually achieve readership, of any level. The blog has a few purposes; but, currently it is best at giving me a way to productively use my time. I don't have sufficient time to date and find research and writing keep me out of trouble.

We live in a world of mystery and are continually told that "experts" understand everything. As we read their answers with questions, we frequently find that their answers are biased or just wrong. We are told that God is an illusion of weak willed and stupid people, yet at the same time, scientists are now telling us everything is an illusion. The only thing that we can know for sure is that we are self aware, emotional beings, we cannot prove that even matter exists.

I do not want people to think that I am a solipsist, I am not. My answer remains the same, we exist and we know this. The world around us and others appear to exist and we should assume that they do. If this is an illusion, and we are all that exists then we created it for a purpose. That is the appropriate answer to any solipsist.

On an a side note, to anyone who believes in synchronicity - there is no such thing, I have been asked by a very dear friend and partner to attend a meeting with a very major corporation and assist in arranging a business deal. My friend knows that I prefer not to meet new people nor be directly involved in most deals. I will help friends with business deals; but, prefer it to just be help. I cannot do that in this situation to this person, I will be there. I cannot assume that this all an illusion.

Science cannot explain how quantum physics and "normal" physics work; but, it appears that the key is to non-compatible beings can be placed in compatible relationships. A mathematician claims he has solved the riddle. It is claimed to be the hardest math puzzle of all to solve, love.

To a philosopher, the question is how can we find compatibility if we are each unique. A good question, perhaps we find compatibility when we are ready, perhaps it is about attitude. Quantum physics is amazed that things, sub-particles seem to unite in pairs. Is this not the way God made us, to unite in pairs. Biologists call it pair bonding. For me the question is not whether or not we pair bond, it is why. What makes life better when you are bonded with people in special relationships?

Plato believed that the government should be run, and all organizations, by those best suited to run them. He believed we could rise to where we were most comfortable and should be. What felt natural, what we were best suited for. We seem to try and fight this, we seem to want to get more than we should be responsible for because we want the power and glory of what we cannot manage. We want more; but, only the good stuff, the cookies. It is this wish that we corrupt ourselves with.

When we give and receive equally, we are in a good relationship. When we look at any relationship, or organization, we need to look at whether or not people are suited to their positions, not whether or not we are helping our friends. I am happy to assist my friend in her meeting because we are like paper and glue when it comes to such matters. We know when we are in such relationships, everything just flows.

No deep analysis tonight, no great truth, just rambling and thinking about friendship and relationship. You cannot force relationship, you cannot force people to fit your mold of what you want from them. We have to accept people for what they are and try to find the best way to fit with them as they are. Be well.

Feeling Better

I hate having the stomach flu. I hate the feeling it leaves on your tongue. I hate the days it takes to be able to eat good food again. I bought some really good pork ribs and couldn't cook them or even think about eating them.

We take so many things for granted, like being able to eat. I love food and attempt to make very good food. Food is one of my passions. Food, flavor is so individual. I can make a meal for ten people and no two will enjoy it the same. Taste, touch, sight, sound, smell are all so individual.

When my father passed away I kept a winter jacket I had bought him. It had his smell on it and reminded me of him. It is strange to know that I will never know his smell again. It is strange to know that there are many people I will not see in the same way again. It is strange to know that there are people I will never touch again or hear their voice.

Our senses create memories. I remember touching the hands of my first girlfriend, they were very soft. I remember holding my children for the first time. I remember so many sensations.