Still Trying to Find Peace

As my longtime readers know, I am divorced, dated for a bit and stopped. A wonderful lady who works in my building and is a regular reader of this blog was joking with me today, she mentioned that she knew I was getting better and commented on how nice I looked in my new suit. It made me feel good and reminded me that I still have a bit to go before I am ready to re-engage in dating or even figuring out where I want to go or what I want to do.

It is only the last few months that I have begun to really heal through all that I have been through. Losing my house and acquiring all of the ex's debt have left me in a sort of good limbo. I am chipping away rather well at the debt (haven't used a credit card myself in over two years) and am forced to take time to myself. I like that, I am beginning to re-establish myself and bringing my wardrobe and possessions back to an adequate state. The time to myself is allowing me to figure out where I want to go, to rediscover me and I know it will take some more time.

A couple of years back I drove up to Portland to meet some friends and be social. I drove rather than fly because I wanted the head time, the time alone to process my life and think, I needed quiet for that and it began the healing process. I am still healing and allowing all the old pressures to seep away, a cleansing period. "Out with the old and in with the new", so to speak.

For my friends, I continue to get better. I move my life forward in phases. Currently, I am still working on me and catching my breath. To everything there is a time, a time to rest and a time to heal and I heal the best when I have periods of solitude. I am not ready to take on any more than I have, it is time to take on less. A time to heal and I am doing it and it feels great.

I am sitting here in my apartment, having a cigarette and sipping a glass of wine while listening to music and reading articles, this is good for me. I am getting better. To the lovely lady that told me how nice I looked in my new suit, it always makes a man feel good when a lady says that he looks good. We appreciate the kind words of ladies, we trust in them.

I believe that a true lady brings the best out of true men. I have known many ladies and I am always on my best around them. To be a lady in this day and age is pretty hard. What is the best example of young ladies out there today, there are none. Oh, they let a few sneak in and then they destroy them. Imagine how men would act differently if all young ladies acted in that manner. Gentlemen, I have already asked the same of you.

When a lady speaks to a man or a man speaks to a lady, there is something already present. Respect, it is earned, it is earned because the amount of joy we feel in another persons appreciation is in response to the respect that we have for the person. Being a lady or a gentleman is related to our ability to control our actions and keep them within acceptable limits. Okay, I lost my point. I am also trying to catch up to things that I wrote on another website. Hey, I was on jury duty for three weeks straight and all day.

Here is what I think I was talking about, it is nice to not have fewer responsibilities, it is nice to rest and heal and I am doing so and plan to keep doing so until I am ready. I still appreciate ladies and activities; but, I am enjoying the fun of nothing. I do hope my friends know that all is good. Be well.

Sherwood Schwartz

Mr. Sherwood Schwartz has died. If you don't know the name, you know his work. He was best known for the "Red Skelton Show", "The Brady Bunch" and "Gilligan's Island". He passed away and my condolences go to his family. I laughed many times because of him. I wasn't a big fan of the Brady Bunch; but, attended school with the youngest and never heard anything bad about her, seemed like a nice kid. Gilligan's Island is like Samuel Beckett with a sense of humor.

Samuel Beckett wrote a play called "Waiting for Godot", now I have put on many plays and can right now state that this is the play I liked the least. It is just boring and depressing to me. My favorite piece of theater is Thorton Wilder's "Our Town".

When Mr. Schwartz created "Gilligan's Island", he had intent. He once explained how he wanted to take people from different backgrounds and walks of life and put them on this island to show how they would work together and treat each other. The jokes are all based on the social status of the individuals. The boat, the S.S. Minnow was an in joke, it was named after the FCC chairman that called television "the vast wasteland".

If you think about it, the Brady Bunch was pretty much about the same thing, it is about two different groups working together as a family. Not a bad message. When people watch these shows they discover that they usually have a pretty positive message, you don't see that much anymore. May God greet you with a smile Mr. Schwartz, you gave plenty of others smiles.

Short post, almost too short

I have to take care of some things but will try to post if I get the chance. Still trying to get caught up after finishing jury duty, get back into the swing so to speak. We shall see how that goes.

Some Musical Thoughts

Bob Dylan - Knocking on Heavens Door

The Original Caste - One Tin Soldier

Linus - A Charlie Brown Christmas

Buffalo Springfield - For What its Worth


Joan Baez - Where have all the flowers gone

The Beatles - All You Need is Love

Linda Ronstadt - Your No Good (I forgave my ex-wife, would love her to know that). If you listen to the song then you will understand it is the cheating spouse apologizing to the other spouse.

Dido - White Flag

Dionne Warwick - I Say a Little Prayer

Jackie DeShannon - What the World Needs Now

The greatest human achievement is forgiveness. You cannot have love without forgiveness, not true love. True love is forgiveness and that breed affection. It does not work the other way around, you cannot earn grave, it is given by the one that you have harmed. We usually harm when we think we are in the right. We convince ourselves that we are in the right and the more it is a lie, the less forgiving we are. Be well, forgive and turn from hate.

Do Not Be Part of the Experiment

I have discussed what is called "crowd sourcing" before. It is the idea that the intelligence of the group can equal that of the "experts". I prefer to call it mob sourcing. Well your friends in the intelligence community want to create a social forum for predicting what threats the United State can expect from terrorists. Something is not as it appears here.

While the most current article regarding their efforts by Wired magazine claims it is about you becoming an intelligence officer, I am not convinced. A prior article states that the purpose of the exercise is really to look at how to pick the best intelligence analysts.

Now every web sleuth in the world will want to participate to prove how good they are; but, this is not how they will be evaluated as they will not have access to the information that real intelligence officers have. Crowd sourcing is merely crowd profiling. The purpose of the exercise is to profile how people of differing attitudes, intelligences and biases think and what they would do under different circumstances.

If we look at the program from the standpoint of a planner, we would seek to maximize the benefits. The first benefit would be to have a fairly reliable algorithm for predicting what Americans would do, given certain situations. The second benefit would be in choosing candidates for being recruited as analysts. The third benefit would be in determining how much reliance one can place on any particular analysts conclusions. Finally, it is hoped, by the creators, that they can get away from an over reliance on any one analyst.

An amusing hypocrisy of this type of approach is the internet group known as "anonymous". They claim that the sheep need to rise up as a group and stop being herded, huh??? I watched a video by "anonymous", it stated that they never forget and never forgive, I could never participate in such a thing. It's message is purely in line with Alister Crowley, "do as thou wilt" and no belief in forgiveness.

I see a lot of turmoil in the world, as does everyone else. My fear is mob rule, I can see that we have choices before us, that happened two hundred years ago. Consider my moniker on this site, it is Pimpernel from the Scarlet Pimpernel. The Scarlet Pimpernel did not believe in the terrible beheadings that were done in France at the close of the French revolution and neither do I.

It is popular to say that none is as enslaved as he who does not know it; but, this is not my belief. Slavery is in your head, I am always free. Freedom is a view of the world. I don't believe in direct democracy as such, I don't believe that everyone's opinion is equally valid, I don't decisions should be based on opinions or feelings. I don't believe that Marie Antoinette should have been beheaded for being a silly and vain girl.

The pie is getting smaller and we all have to adjust. I fear that the rich have forgotten that they are not entitled and I know the poor have forgotten it, heck, everyone feels entitled anymore. We fear what we may lose more than we worry about what we can do more.

There are many people who have taken to quoting Kennedy's quotes regarding secret societies and I agree with him, I don't like secret societies. I also agree with him when he said not to ask what the country could do for you; but, instead, what you could do for your country. That is what got us to the moon.

We should not hate the rich, we should seek justice. We should not hate foreigners, we all are in the most fundamental of ways. It does not matter who runs the mob or if we call the mob a government, the military, anonymous or anything else, it is still a mob that is harming others. We could call it a gang; but, when they all stomp on one person or a few because they have the power then they are no better than those they oppose.

The group "anonymous" practices something that I find incredibly distasteful, they do not allow the accused to speak for themselves. They are judge and jury and executioner. Behind their mask of anonymity they do not have to live with the consequences of their actions. This is the same reason that I am against using robots and drones in war, as I have previously discussed. I am not against people, I am against practices and I don't care who uses them.

I believe we need to return to a morality that makes those around us as important as ourselves and move away from one that is based on us first. I believe that power and authority should be earned and proven and that those to represented should choose who does lead them based on their morality and integrity rather than if you believe you will get more with them as your leader.

What type of world are we creating when we no longer believe in forgiveness or grace? What type of people are we becoming when we believe we should do whatever feels good to us, where everyone has to look out for themselves because all relationships are situational, even those with our spouses or parents or children?

The group "anonymous" claim that they want internet freedom and then close down sites that they don't agree with. How is this any different then when the government shuts down websites. I know, the difference is that we have specifically identifiable people involved in shutting down websites when it is done by the government.

I do hope people are not foolish enough to believe that intelligence people are not monitoring and directing "anonymous", of course they are. They are nothing more than an algorithm, those who join are profiled and their logic is recreated in an algorithm.

Anomalies will always exist; but, most seek to imitate and participate because they are afraid of truly standing up and being counted as yourself. Seek to be you.

People Can Be Lovely

Tomorrow I go back to work. There is so much to do and so few willing to do anything. I am fortunate that the people who work with me actually care to keep things moving, it makes my life so much easier.

I am very fortunate in the people who are around me. I went to the store today and a young women, who I believe to be gay, was so nice to me. She went out of her way to welcome me, she is always pleasant. She has such a positive attitude. She went out of her way to shake my hand and touch me, how wonderful is that? She is very genuine and always kind and gentle. She is sort of butch and I bet not all straight people are that way with her, that is very saddening. It makes me sad to think that she is not given the love that she gives.

Imagine how it feels for me to go to stores and shops and be treated as if I matter. Imagine if you lived that, if clerks looked forward to your coming into their store or restaurant or bar, what does it matter where? It is very easy to achieve this, be nice and care about the people that you effect. Care about everyone you touch.

This post did not come off the way I wanted because I was distracted for two hours. I am therefore changing the end to be more reflective of my thought. You can be strong and confident and still treat people as if they matter. If you do that then they will often treat you as if you matter and isn't that what it is all about, treating each other as if we all matter?

I spoke to a lady today about the world of dating. She mentioned that she considered how men tipped and treated those who served them at restaurants, it says a lot about a person. How a person treats those around them that are paid to assist them says as much about them as how they treat their loved ones.

I failed to post

I wrote last night; however, I failed to post. I will try again later today, got to do laundry and get ready for the week. Hope all is well with you.