Hope you enjoyed the last post

I hope you also had a great Easter. Yesterday I felt like being poetic. I in fact am not tired, well, I am always a little tired. Too many hours on the road and at work. Too many years; but, not Chandler tired.

Sometimes it is nice just to write, to put thoughts out that are not thought out. LOL. That was a joke. What shall we discuss tonight, anything. Maybe not, maybe just type. I will ramble.

Today, I read a pamphlet by the Rosicrucian Order. It was interesting and predictable. They wrote what one should expect, if one knows what they believe. This is not a complaint, it is an understanding. The Rosicrucians, Masons, "Illuminati", Satanists, Catholics, Protestants, Buddhists... all have beliefs. If you know what they believe, you should not be surprised by what they say they believe. You may agree or disagree with their conclusions but should know their beliefs. Heck, you might agree.

I believe we are self aware beings, spiritual beings living in a material world for a time. That is the starting point. The question is what is the ending poing. It is a joke, eternity has no ending point. We seek perfecting in ourselves and others, then what? Perfection is death, it results is stasis.

I will put it another way. What is the goal of life if life is eternal? Ahhh, he is tricky one. The answer is: eternal growth. That means eternal change and never getting to the perfect. LOL.

What then is perfection? We consider perfection in Platonic (the man, not friendly) terms and we come to the conclusion that there is a thing to be achieved that when we achieve it, our work is done. I am Aristotilain in my beliefs, perfection is a process that is ever changing. Evolutionary if you will.

Perfection is the process by which eternal imperfection is improved and stasis is never reached. Complicated in it's simplicity to be sure. Still, the simplest question is what is perfection if there is eternity? We insist upon not asking these questions or attempting to give them importance. See, the Rosicrucians, if they followed their rules, would love me as an initiate; but, I am no initiate.

Tomorrow something bad will happen. Perhaps many bad things. At a minimum, we are locking all of our doors at work. It is because the leaders are afraid of the followers. What a strange situation. I am not afraid of my employees. Heck, hard to be afraid of much.

The world is getting weirder than me. That is sad.

I can't sleep

I can't sleep. Can't close my eyes or shut off my mind. Like some sort of statue I sit in front of my laptop. Sit, not think. Perhaps some wine would help; but, I sort of doubt it. Tried that too many times. After awhile nothing helps.

It is dark and cold and quiet. Very quiet, I play music less for the music and more to combat the quiet. The same songs again and again and again. It really doesn't matter, they have less impact than musac in some fricking elevator or on some stupid phone's wait period.

Funny thing about not being able to sleep, it doesn't mean you are not tired. For some, being tired is a way of life. Just what you do. Seems that when you try to do the right thing, everything is difficult, everything is tiring. After awhile, you don't think about trying to sleep. Instead, you drink to forget about being tired.

What I am the most tired about is the things I know and hear. I am tired of what I read. Do we ever rest or do we have to wait till this play is over? Either way, eventually we do sleep. It just may be longer than we expect. In the meantime we can be true to ourselves, you know, honest and committed to what we believe. Commitment means tired. I know tired.

THAT IS MY INTERPRETATION OF PHILLIP MARLOWE AS WRITTEN BY RAYMOND CHANDLER.

My favorite authors are Jane Austin and Raymond Chandler. I was reading an LA Times article on someone who tried to bring back Marlowe to television. The article. The writer is trying out how to make Marlowe relevant. How to bring him into the current times. He didn't understand what Marlowe was.

To understand Chandler and Austin is to understand charachter, morals, commitment. The story of Marlowe is the story of someone willing to lose to do the right thing. Except, he has been at it so long that he is tired. Watch the video of Robert Mitchum playing Marlowe and hear his words. Tired.

What made Marlowe so amazing was that he was older and tired than he should have been. He did not give up on right, just on people. Marlowe, against all evidence, could not give up on truth or justice. He did not fit in with his post World War II world. A world that gave up on itself.

When people read Raymond Chandler they are amazed by his use of metaphor. He was the master of imagery. That is whay made Marlowe. It was the charachter itself. To understand Marlowe you need to understand why he did what he did. Chandler once said he imagined Marlowe always doing some crappy job for some crappy client, looking for purpose.

I was 15 when I first saw Robert Mitchum in "Farewell my Lovely". He was looking for a girl, Velma, Velma Velento. When I saw the film, I knew I had to read the books. I read them all. Wow. Mitchum made another Marlowe film, it didn't work the same. Too much energy, not enough tired.

In Marlowe's Los Angeles, it was teaming with beauty and corruption. He saw it's beauty and he saw how it was a whore. He, even though disillusioned, still saw it's beauty. I connected with that. When you see a nine year old Mexican girl walking to school past crack whores, you get it. LA is a mix, all places are, some hide it better. LA does not hide it.

Nothing has changed in Los Angeles. No need to force a change in Marlowe to make him relevant. He would still see the innocent and the filthy. Nothing has changed. Chandler just understood staying clean in filth. Chandler was all about contrast and the choices we make. He was concerned with who we chose to be and what it led to, so was Jane Austin.

I was on a flight once, years ago, decades ago. I was reading the inflight magazine. It had an article about how the most unlikely things was that someone would like Chandler and Austin. I laughed, my two favorite authors. He didn't understand either. He understood the plots; but, not the morals. The morals were the same. He didn't think in terms of morals. Be well.

Elton John, an asshole

Now, I like Elton John's music. Still, lets face it, he is one of the biggest assholes in the world. He fails to respect anyone's beliefs others than his own. He recently was quoted saying Jesus was gay. Now, I do not have a problem with gays. What I have a problem with is Mr. John's making things up to prove his point and disrespecing 2,000 years of religious belief. He does not care nor know the truth. Asshole.

Apparently, Mr. John is now disrespecting the Mayans. What a guy. Everyone, prior to Mr. John, respected the Mayan's request that people playing in their holy place of Chichen Itza, have the Mayan's do a morning blessing. He did not bother. Next is Paul McCartney to play in the same place. He has not made the arrangement either. Why not?

Mr. John expects Christians to respect his lifestyle, yet, he does not respect anyone elses. NOw, personally, I don't give a rats rearend what Mr. John thinks or does up till the point he disrespects others. He does not have the truth or guts to address them directly. That is disgustful.

I am not a fan of the Mayan culture. It is not that I do not like natives, I happen to really admire the Hopi. I intend to visit their land. I have asked their people for such permission. I also asked for some information regarding their culture, so that if I am allowed to view one of their ceremonies, I would not offend.

Paul, the one from the bible, said, "When in Rome, do as the Romans". What a simple thought. Do not offend others to prove a point. If we are to be with others, we must respect their ways. That does not mean agree with them, it means allow them to be them to the extent one can.

I ask myself, how can you be so disrespectful of this ancient people. I am stone cold Christian, not in words, in deeds, faith and belief. Do not misunderstand, I can be very hard. You need to understand what a Christian is. It is not the weak and pleasing types taught today. Jesus died on a cross, he said what he believed and suffered the consequences. So did many others. However, I have a "psychic vampire" pagan staying with me because he had nowhere else to go. I took him in.

I am no saint. Just a guy that hates to see a friend go homeless. When people come by and meet my friends, they are surprised that I have such an odd arrangement of friends. Too bad. He treats me with respect and tells me the truth. Better than I get from most "Christians" I know.

How can we show others God's love if we do not love others? I have gay friends, I have aethiest friends, I have pagan friends, I have friends who are "sex workers" (no, still only been with one woman), I have friends who have been in the intelligence game. I know more anomalous people than I should. More than I knew existed. I, on the other hand, am quite boring. Thankfully.

It is not up to me to force others to believe or live as I do. Not my job. It is my job to be me, to define myself. If I take such a privledge, how can I deny it to others? I will discuss the value of choices, the correctness with others; however, I will respect their choices. That does not mean that I will listen to their justifications without response. I respond better to the truth of their choices.

If I go to the house of a Muslim, I know they have differant beliefs. I would want to respect their beliefs. Paul said he was free to eat food that was blessed to other gods. He knew it was not true. There is only one God. But, he said he would not do so if it caused another to sin. Seems contradictory, it is not.

Paul was saying that he would not do things that would lead a Christian to fail at meeting their beliefs. He met with non-Christians. He attempted to discuss what he believed with non-Christians. He did not expect them to change just because they met him. He knew better, he was just spreading the word. It was called "The Great Commission". Not a fight, a life.

The Great Commission was to define ourselves and then live it. To show the impact of our beliefs. A competition, to be sure, one of proving what belief system had what result. That is how we grow. If we say we believe one thing and live another, we are not competing to find out what is the best way to live. It is deceit.

Men are not all rapists

I am going to start with a link to a newspaper article from England.

Why men cannot control themselves

When I was in college, I took a class in psychology. One day we had a hypothetical. We were to assume we were on a boat that sank. Afterwards we ended up on an island. We were asked what we would do. One of the women, an older woman, said she would sleep with the men so that she could be safe. She then said that she might as well give it up as the men would only force the sex anyways.

I was fairly well offended and called her on it. I am not a frickin rapist and do not appreciate ALL men being blamed for the acts of some. I will admit that many of the women I know have told me horrifying stories; but, they don't say it about me. I have been with one woman in my life, intentionally. I believe in commitment not promiscuity FOR ME.

My ex cheated on me, does that mean that I should believe all women are whores? I don't believe it. It is the same thing. Men and boys are under attack. We are either all Tiger Woods and Jesse James or bad parents. Men are portrayed on television is the worst light. The media does not show good men, only bad ones, why?

The author of the book referenced in the link at the top says that testosterone is equivalent to alcohol. It is not. I am sorry, I have drank alcohol. It is not the same. The fact that men have tetosterone does not make us all crazy. Some men are just assholes. That is what makes them do bad things, not being a man.

I am sorry, there was a time when men were chivalrous. There was a time when women were modest. What has changed is what is the cause of the wholesale disregard for each other. All men are not rapists. Testosterone is not a drug or a poison. Justifying the bad actions of some men by saying they are inately incapable of self control is filth.

There was a comedian. Mort Saul, see I remembered. He told a joke in the 80s or 90s. He talked about how women were now smoking and being promiscuous. He said the women said they wanted to be like the men. He then said that in the 50s those were the type of men that real men looked down on. He said that women's liberation taught women to be second class men.

Once women were no longer setting a higher example, men stopped being the better men also. Women, historically, reminded men that we should be good to one another. They were caretakers of the family and the family morals. Men were expected to provide for their families and protect them. We see neither now.

Morals are not bad to have. It is important to see that some things are bad and some are good. It is not just a matter of opinion, it is a question of respect and responsibility. Freedom only works is we manage ourselves. Where are the examples of good men and good women.

The current images being sold to us of men are adulterers and corrupt buisnessmen and politicians. The current images being sold to us of women are "Cougars" and baby crazy wackos. Where are ladies and gentlemen, they used to exist. Love and commitment used to matter. Honor and integrity were things to be admired and sought. Liars were condemned not excused.

The world is in the state it is because we have given up such values and instead look for excuses to do as we wish. When people discover that I have been with one woman they are shocked. I think, why are you shocked? One of the women I dated thought that by the third date I would expect sex. I had to explain that I did not. How uncomfortable it was.

I had to explain that we would not have sex because I needed to know if we were going to be committed first. I had to explain that I found her very attractive, she was, because I did not want her to think that I did not find her attractive. I do not require this attitude in others, it is not my business what others do. Still, it is my belief and I am entitled to live by my belief and suffer the consequences.

We are slaves to our urges if we do not define ourselves with our morals. We are corrupt because we will do as we please without concern for others. We only worry about our immediate wants. That is corruption, corruption of our hearts. We can do better.

We must each individually arrive at our moral code. Our faith in what is right and wrong and then actually live by it. Some do. I met a missionary, she risked her life in Papua New Guinea with a tribe that had never seen a white woman. She lived there for decades to learn their language. She was the bravest person I have ever met. She gave up a life of liesure and family to give a written langauge to others.

I knew a man, one of my best friends, I miss him dearly. He took in foster children with special needs. He then adopted them which meant the state did not pay him a penny. He adopted them so they would know they were loved for themselves. He passed away. His wife told me that he loved me. I miss him so much, he was such a great friend and an example of what a man could be. My father was also, honest as the day is long and loving and a great provider.

My mother and father were honest, committed and industrious. They taught me morals, they taught me integrity. These things are not taught anymore. Today we teach that there is no right and wrong and that we should take care of ourselves, everyman for himself. What filth.

Recently, one woman, only one, put her child in a trashcan so she could play a video game where she cared for a virtual baby. Do you not see the irony, the filth, the corruption? In one day, three mothers attempted to kill their children in Los Angeles. Some succeeded. What are we looking at?

What type of world would you like to create? One where we do as we please and are monitored in case we go too far? Or, one in which we actually care about each other and work together? The second requires development of morals. The first is created by the justification of lies.

We are headed, unfortunately, to the worst we can be. We do not all have to go there. Some of us may choose to be our better selves. We can choose to live by laws or human hearts that see when the law is wrong. When we do what is morally right and take the consequences.

I thank the followers for listening to my wild and silly ramblings. What sort of person asks for morality from people, a crazy man. To actually ask people to live by morals, responsibility. No doubt I will be locked up, as it should be. Be well.

Gets weirder

You got to read this article. It is from an English newspaper and is about the Vatican. I couldn't make it up.

Intentional molestation

Pension Fun

So, as I have posted before, there is corruption in the Government Pension system. There is a criminal investigation in California. It will be very messy.

Isn't that fine

Very blessed man

I am a very blessed man. I have met some very interesting people. Two I will discuss togight. Lori Cardille and Jessica Harper. Not the most famous but both celebrities. Lori Cardille is less known.

Lori Cardille was in a movie called "Day of the Dawn". She is the daughter of some guy in Pennsilvania, I mispelled. He was a horror movie guy on tv. She made a zombie movie, I saw the movie and thought she was wonderful in it. Many years ago, I looked her up when the web was new. She became a photogropher. For a band.

I contacted the band. I asked if it was the same lady. Nobody in the band knew about the movie she was in. She did not tell them. She was a pretty girl. They did not know. I received a response, they told me they did not know of her being in a film; but, they knew her father was in television. It was the same girl.

They later asked her. She let them know it was her in the movie. She later let them know she had been molested by her uncle. She wrote a book about it. I have anguished for years that I may have brought it back up. I did not know she was hiding out. How could I. I just like her.

Now to Ms. Harper. Jessica Harper was in a movie that I love. She was in Phantom of the Paradise. The director was Brian DePalma. Great film. She was so lovely and had a great voice. She started a blog. I said hello. I do not know much about her. I only know that she had children and made records for kids. Very nice.

I sent her an e-mail. I just said thank you for being her. For how she made me happy. She responded. She said you are welcome. Aint that cool. Two names most people will not know. Two ladies most people will not know. Two amazing ladies who said thanks for knowing them. What a world.

I am just a snivel servant. I do not know fame. Some have it for a moment. Some for a lifetime. What it is like we cannot understand. Yet those who do have a burden, people they do not know, know them. How they handle it defines them. A burden we cannot understand. I thank them both for taking the time to say hello.

I do not know if either of them will ever read my pitiful blog. If they do, I want to say thank you. And to Jessica Harper I send a special thank you. Isn't life neat?