Thursday, May 5, 2011

Sorry, don't feel well

I have a headache and don't feel like eating. I don't feel my writing is going to be very good because of it. I had to do a lot of running around today and I was fine until I got home. I am drinking my water.

I went into work today in casual clothes, doesn't matter why. I had a lot of people comment on it. Positive comments. I don't wear casual clothes too often, don't know the last time I did at work, I will do it when I am working in the field sometimes. I didn't know it had been so long since I had done it last.

Got distracted and forgot what I was writing about. I continue to get a lot of people visiting the blog because of what I wrote about Pastor Carol Daniels, it is nice to know that so many people are interested in her, interested enough to find their way here. Lets keep hoping they find the killer.

I came across an article about a scientist who believes that we need more empathy, I agree. He was interested in what is evil, he believes the word doesn't adequately describe it, he has decided it is a lack of empathy, that is where we part ways. Oh, he specializes in autism, I know about that.

For the first 20 years of my life, my empathy level was pretty small. At times I could turn it off completely. A lack of empathy is present in many autistic people; but, we don't go out killing people, not evil. So what is evil?

People who otherwise have empathy can be evil, caring people can torture, steal and do all sorts of other terrible things. Evil is intent. If I slip and hit you with no intent, you would not call it evil, even if as a result you lost your eye. Evil is in the intent, it is the intent to put oneself above others, to be selfish. You can understand that others feel pain and decide that your happiness is more important that their pain, that is evil.

While sociopaths and psychopaths may have no empathy, true believers can be just as bad. People who choose to ignore their conscience are even worse than those who have no empathy because they do understand the pain they are causing. I am worried that we are becoming a world that is capable of empathy and ignores it. I read posts on the Internet and am amazed at the level of hate. People write that we should kill all of this or that people. Or people that say that we should nuke some place, women, children, animals. How can you possibly think that way? I had no empathy and don't think that way.

I was talking to one of my employees today while we were having a cigarette, yes, I smoke, I am scum. Anyways, we were talking and she mentioned that the work environment was changing because of the economy. She mentioned how she was ready to retire and would in four years. It is just a little less for me, 3 1/2 if I make it that long. I said that the changes in the industry would be witnessed by us; but, the younger ones would be the ones to make it work. Soon I will cease being relevant in my industry, how odd.

I have made some big changes in my industry over the years and have always been relevant, to not be somehow seems strange. I have a degree of influence and a degree of knowledge and understanding of my industry, I have left behind a well trained man to continue on; but, I don't know how I feel about knowing that soon I will retire, stop staying current and eventually not matter at all to the industry. There has been more than one person that thought I should have protection because of the changes I made (good changes; but, every change gives and takes). If you put a lock on your door it may cost a criminal, he cannot steal your stuff as easily.

It is odd to know that I will no longer have to battle and fight as I did. I wish could go out on my shield; but, that is not to be apparently. There are those who fear engagement with me, I am hard on those who would do wrong, real hard. When I was sick a few years ago there were those who rejoiced and thought I wouldn't make it, they were all wrong. There will come a time when they will have their way. I will be looked at for what I was and not for what I am when that time comes because I will cease being relevant.

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