Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Had to Think About Some Things

I like the simple life, I like my peace and quiet. I have never cared much for groups, I prefer one on one. I have had some amazing experiences in my life and have been privy to many amazing facts and people. I have known a Billionaire on a first name basis, have met more than a few people in power and have met some of the oddest charachters to ever walk the earth. I don't think I appreciated it.

To me, my life just seemed noraml, it was for me. I am torn between seeing my life as "normal" and recognizing that I have been involved in and witnessed some amazing things. Oh, I sent my formal request with all the appropriate documents to the FBI requesting to see my file, I still haven't gotten it. I will keep requesting it until I get a response.

I have never had a listed phone number in my life. My Facebook and Twitter accounts have never been used and are blank. I don't even "friend" people. I knew a couple of years ago that I would need to become more social and I try. I like people, I don't like crowds, I can't hear them all, too much input. I know, you will tell me, you focus on one or two, that is not how autism works.

My form of autism is pretty common, we are always paying attention and it wears. For low achieving autistics, it is too much to process. For high achieving, we learn to process it and try and drown out the excess. I think I can handle it better now then I could when I was young. I still like my quiet time, time to contemplate and write. I absolutely detest large, loud nightclubs. Too much noise, too many people and no conversation that can be heard.

I think the last few years have helped me get over that, complete sensory bombardment, we adjust too. I can handle crowds better now and am beginning to appreciate all of my experiences for where they helped me to go. Just took me awhile.

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