Monday, May 2, 2011
I have been at this blog for a while now and I don't think I talk enough about postitive things. I love talking about quantum physics i a way that people who are unfamiliar with it can understand what they are seeing, without all the fancy science, the theory. That is something very positive about people, we can understand in our way.
I read an article today where someone was discussing quantum physics and thought they did a good job, they discussed the existance of the completely insane quantum entanglement. He talked about how the human eye was used in an experiment to witness a certain atomic reaction by it's effect. There is much beauty in nature and it is a result of these impacts of the "laws of nature"; but, they are not laws. Nature is, the "laws" are our attempts to understand nature. We can understand it by looking at it too.
In the bible is says that none can deny that they were aware of God, that he showed himself in the sky and the world all around us. I want to share some pictures and then talk some more.
Each of these pictures show the beauty of nature, of this world that the Lord has created for us to live on for awhile. Sometimes I forget to enjoy nature, sometimes I am so focused on doing what needs to be done that I forget how pretty this place can be.
This place can be tough a lot, it can be very taxing and disturbing. Then I see a baby or a young toddler trying to talk to their mother and I think, we are worth existing. I am an old sheepdog and have spent too much time trying to get the sheep to do better and to not be devoured. Never been suicidal and always hated this world. The only one that ever appreciates a sheepdog is the Shepherd and the sheepdog doesn't get to interact with his own much.
I lived in the desert for about 20 years and loved it, the desert has a quiet and still adventure that you can witness if you slow down your heart and your head and just experience. I once again live is a very green area and it is also lovely with it's wild nature and vibrance. I like both. I have lived in the snow, it is lovely; but, I got frostbite and it wasn't worth living in it to me. I was always fascinated with Polynesia and it's people, it led me to be Coast Guard certified at 15 and join the Navy ROTC, I like the ocean inside a boat.
A nice musical video
Why is it that we find nature beautiful? Wouldn't it be possible to live on a world that wasn't pretty, perhaps all grey or all sharp objects? But we live on a place that is beautiful, why should such a place exist? It was pretty before the animals came and could appreciate it, so why should it be pretty?
Softness is a bizarre concept, life is most effective at establishing itself when it is the sharpest, not the softest. Soft things existed before the sense of feel. I cannot prove it; but, I bet there were good smelling things before there were animals that could appreciate it.
Honey bees can see the pollen because they see ultraviolet. We are told that they developed this sense through natural selection; but, that is sort of a weak answer, why do all of the flowers show up better in ultraviolet and they did before bees existed at all.
Beauty is to be found in contrasts, in variation. Some variations do not strike our eyes well, they are to sharp and must be softened to be appreciated; but, you need to have the extremes to begin with in order to soften them, limits of extremes, how hard and soft can you be. Our lives are hard and we can become hard; but, we can also become softer, rocks in a river smooth out over time; but, they are still rocks.
Someone recently told me that they thought I should promote one more time; but, that they never thought I should be someone to deal with the press because they said I had no filters. I have filters for that which comes in and that which goes out; but, I can very much be down to business and tell like it is. The truth can be hard on some, I try and soften it; but, I am still a sheepdog and that is what it is.
Over the years I have softened and slowed, most people find this hard to believe that work with me because I am still a sheepdog. You bark a little bit less, you snap a little less hard, no more than is needed and you rest a heck of a lot more, it is tiring chasing sheep.
I will retire in a little over three years and I am ready. I know my business and will probably do some consulting; but, I don't figure I have many battles left in me, kinda beat the odds already, thought I would have been out of the game a decade ago. Not much left to learn that matters at this time; but, I do keep up on things as the readers may have noticed. I will retire alone and on a very modest pension (half to me and half to the ex). I could have retired sooner on a disability pension, I chose not to; but, that doesn't mean I am what I was or ever will be again. Healthier; but, still have the same physical problems (and mental, lol).
I cannot explain what it means to retire as a sheepdog. I don't know how to explain it if you don't understand what it is to be a sheepdog. It means that you risk your well being for the sheep who hate you because it is your nature and it seems to please the Shepherd. Still, to be with another of your kind would be grand.
I am so old and so wore out that I don't want happiness, never knew it and can live without it. That may sound pained, it is not, I would rather know the truth than have pleasure. Lets get the bad part over with over first and the bad part is, it is us that make the mistakes, not God, nobody to blame except ourselves and we don't like that much.
Personal responsibility is a good thing, I like it, we live here and need to do the best we can to make it the best place we can; but, instead we look out for ourselves. that is why I am not a sheep, can't live that life. I think we can and should be better than that, in exchange for long periods of rest and joy, I prefer to be active in the result, that is what it is to be a sheepdog and it only lasts so loing, the end is near for this old dog.
While there is the occasional young lady kind enough to tell me that I have the body of a 29 year old, I am old and learned enough to know that I do not, that my end is approaching, I don't mean my death, though that can happen any day for any of us, I mean my end as a sheepdog, that is coming to a close. I fixate on no longer being relevant, on no longer being a player, a decision maker. My ex assistant who takes such loving concern over me is my gift to the next generation, he has plenty of strength and will use it to do well for the rest of you, I will have the joy of watching; but, it is his time and no longer mine.
I am on my way out, I have learned plenty and hopefully done the best with what I have learned that I could while balancing needs. I don't kmow it all, I have trust in the shepherd also; but, I question him and the sheep, how will I feel when I get to be with my kind, the other sheepdogs, I don't know, but, I think I will feel accepted and I don't know what that feels like.
Enjoy the night and look at the sky, you will see God and all of his creation for the variation tha exists beyond our sentience, pretty neat huh?