Two Items

The first item is an article about the Governor, Villalobos, CalPers and a change in the law. It is interesting that Elliot Broidy is not mentioned.

The second item concerns DMT again. I really, really, really, really don't want people even attempting to take DMT. I have been attempting to understand the effects of DMT on different people and the reason for the variation. The DMT experience can occur naturally or through the smoking of it (usually), it can also be triggered by certain yoga techniques or near death experiences.

When the DMT experience is caused by smoking it, it seems to have stages (dependent on how much is smoked). Many people reported seeing aliens, insect aliens, elves or sprites. They usually referred to these beings as not liking us. The nature of the experience was the same even with people who smoked it and knew nothing about its effects.

Unlike any other chemical, DMT users believe this experience to be real and profound. One use changes lives, this, as many said, is not a party drug. While going through the experience many reported seeing their flaws and insecurities. It appears that DMT makes one examine their ego. If one is aware of their insecurities and flaws, this can become overwhelming. If one believes they are flawless, they assume they are God. Perhaps we can call it an ego exam.

DMT in Near Death Experiences occurs when someone dies, the brain releases large amounts of DMT and the person experiences going to heaven and seeing loved ones. That is the most common Near Death Experience caused by DMT.

DMT released through Yoga practices seems rather limited compared to the first two mentioned. It seems to be stage one of smoking it.

Spontaneous release of DMT, often called Kundalini, is less predictable. It can last for a few minutes or years.

I want to talk about the smoking of DMT (and no, I have never smoked it nor do I intend to). A friend of mine killed himself on LSD in our senior year. He blew his brains out. I never took LSD and after that I sure as heck never would. People that have taken LSD many times have said that it ain't nothing like DMT.

LSD user tries DMT

Loss of Reality

Intense trip


Atheist wants to know God


DMT and eyes

If you read these accounts, it should be apparent that DMT is no joke. South American Shamans took DMT in order to have mystical experiences not to have "trips". It is not a trip but is instead a realization. We can realize many things; but, handle just a few. Unlike any other drug, when people come off of DMT, they still insist the experience was real.

I do not ask anything of my readers. Tonight I ask one thing, if you ever even think about taking DMT or know anyone who is thinking about it, contact me. I have done quite a lot of investigation on Kundalini and DMT. It is the only chemical that occurs naturally when we are dying. Think about that, it is not an accident. Near Death Experiences do not ever sound like LSD, Morphine, Alcohol or any other drugs effects, they only represent DMT experiences. Maybe there is a reason.

You only have only so many choices. DMT is a hallucinogen that causes hallucinations unlike any other drug or it awakens parts of our brains that allow us to to understand things that are bigger than ourselves. Both answers are bad if we are not ready. Ready cannot be judged by us (consider the reports by LSD users). If we are ready, it will happen.

Too Much Alien Chatter

Have you noticed the increase in chatter about aliens. Firstly we have an article about how scientists have found planets like our own that could possibly have life.

Could Goldilocks Planet be Just Right for Life

Then we have a story about retired Air Force personnel confirming that UFOs shut down our nuclear missiles on more than one occasion.

Ex-Air Force Personnel: UFOs Deactivated Nukes

Too many stories to bother listing. Use Yahoo, search "UFO" under the news section rather than the web. Too many to count. Actually it can be counted, 267 hits on it in the last week. But that is not what I wanted to talk about. I want to talk about how I want a vacation.

I need a vacation, I don't need to go to another planet, I just need a real two week vacation and I don't want to go alone. The last real vacation I had was with my ex-wife going to Hawaii to see her brother, he was getting divorced at the time. I liked Hawaii. If I were to go back I think I would go to Maui, I have never been there.

My problem is, I can't think of a place I feel like going to. I don't wish to go back to New England, I don't like the south as I hate humidity (could explain my living in the desert). There is nothing in the mid-west I feel a need to see, I have traveled across the country a few times by car. I enjoyed Portland and Washington State; but, it is going to get cold soon. Mexico has just too many problems right now. I haven't renewed by out of date passport so I cannot leave the country.

How I Feel My Life Has Been

How do you pick a vacation spot? I forgot how. Two weeks is a long time to be anywhere. I guess the question is what does one want from their vacation. Relaxing, heck that can be done at home. Excitement, I have had enough of that. Seeing new things, not much I feel a need to see.

The vast majority of people in the history of the world never travelled more than 26 miles from their homes. We seem obsessed with travel. People who live in Malibu will spend thousands to lie on a beach in Greece. For some reason we now equate vacation with travel. It used to just be time off work. For me the best vacation I ever had was on a cruise ship, it rocked me to sleep and everything was taken care of, the ex hated it, not exciting enough.

Perhaps Rio would be nice.

I started this post a couple of hours ago and haven't had much to say. I think I should just go to bed. "Why can't I sleep?"

It's Official, Vernon will be a big one

Now, everybody is talking about the City of Vernon.

Prosecutors investigating Vernon insider contracts

While investigating officials pay


While the officials were flying first class

When they are done in Vernon, it is going to lead them straight to Los Angeles City Hall. I betcha, come on, bet me. Now you want to see if CIM Group or DWP had any dealings with Tara Energy. I wonder what we would find if we searched "Elliot Broidy" and the names of any of the officials in Vernon.

After the investigations in Vernon we will truly see that there are no limits to dishonesty and corruption. This is where it is going to get really interesting. Vernon allows dirty businesses. I don't mean crooked, I mean polluters. That is why the companies never complain about the politicians. You move your business to cities that only have a few people because you are avoiding some regulation or tax. You can build anything in Vernon except a house.

Now, how do you disassemble Vernon? The government proves that EVERYONE who lives in Vernon is crooked. There is only eighty of them. The State then un-makes the City. Cities are corporations, they can be created or not by the State. They can become un-incorporated and then fall under the control of the County. I think I wrote about this last year.

They are going to change the law. They are going to say that in order to be a City there must be at least 100,000 people or something like that. Watch as this tangled know unravels, Vernon is going to be the big one. They are even investigating the Chief of Police in Vernon. Why did they pay him soooooo much? For that much money, they could have gotten any police chief. Bratton did not make that much.

Hello Vernon

I was a day ahead. Here is the new article on the City of Vernon.

Ron Kaye LA

There is an ex-newspaper reporter named Ron Kaye. He wrote an article on his blog about our friends at CIM Group and Ari Swiller. Now for anyone who has read my posts on CIM, he will not be adding anything new; however, his blog has a lot of followers and readers.

I have been waiting for someone to investigate the City of Vernon. It is going to make Bell look like practice dummies. I am glad to see that he called Vernon corrupt. It would be fascinating to see how many calls were made from Vernon City Hall to Los Angeles City Hall and the Department of Water and Power. Seeing their e-mails and phone logs would probably help people understand why Vernon bought the land.

Interesting Stuff

Having taken a mental vacation this weekend, I have little to say for myself. Friends, bopping around, cooking, joking, listening to music. Yeah, it has been a tough weekend. I even made it to Chinatown, attended the moon festival and was pleased to have dinner at my favorite place.

I go to this restaurant in Chinatown during the week for lunch sometimes. It is always empty during the day; but, it has the nicest people working there. They make my heart smile and they are always pleased to see me. I make a habit of doing that, of finding places where the operators are thrilled to see me come in, it is how I choose where I go to buy things.

Our lives are our days. I am always taking care of others in one form or another. When someone is going to serve me, I want them to have fun. I want to be the highlight of there day, if I can do that they will be thrilled when I come in. If I like a place, I will keep going there even if it is a little more expensive. I like my sense of community. I know the people I deal with.

I buy my sandwich meat at a particular store. I know a little bit about their lives and they know about mine. Little things. It makes the experience personal. I know my accountant and lawyer, I know about them and they know a heck of a lot about me. I know the two people I buy cigarettes from, one is very nice man who just got reunited with his sons. The other is lovely young lady who works full time to pay her way through school. I always ask what she is taking and how she is doing. I don't buy from stores, I buy from people.

I took a lovely lady to dinner in Palm Springs. By the end of the dinner, the waitress had told us everything, including that her husband was in jail and that she had considered harming him for having beat her. This was not any restaurant, it was very high end. I want to know about the people I am going to live my life with.

For decades I had a personal relationship with my insurance agent and the owner of my internet service providing company. I am no longer with that company as it was sold. I am not charming and I don't lie, I pick who I deal with. If you expect perfect service, you don't view the server as a person. I am more interested in who I am dealing with than their speed. My waiter last night is over 80, been doing the job for over 50 years and put in twelve hours yesterday. Yeah.

The most intimate sense is the sense of touch. It is the freedom to touch another's body as if it were your own, to share sense. A hug, a brush of the hand across an arm or a soft shoulder. When I was younger I didn't let anyone other than family touch me. I did not like to be touched, my dog is the same way. I only like to be touched by people I trust, people I feel comfortable with. I could never imagine sleeping with a stranger, it offends me. I don't care what others do, it offends me for me. I can't do it.

I want to be invited to touch, I want to respect that right; but, I also want the lady to wait to be invited to touch me. When both parties are completely willing and completely comfortable it is better. The slow dance. Anticipation, touch and go.

Touch and Go

Great Day

Talk to you all tomorrow.

Sheep in Motion

Baaahhh. A new crisis has been found. A couple of days ago it was reported that some (210) ex-felons had jobs providing home health care for the elderly. There are 380,000 home health care providers in California, hardly a large number. The Governor is calling on the legislature to prohibit ex-felons from being in-home health care providers. It is a tempest in a tea pot and wrong.

I have a relative who is an ex-felon, hasn't been in jail in 25 years. He was the health care provider for his mother and he did a damn fine job. Oh, by the way, he wasn't paid by the state; but, could have been. Many times people have their children be the provider and some people have children that are ex-felons.

SEIU, the union for home health care providers, is supporting the governor. Why? What is behind all of the deception? This is about forcing requirements on home health care providers that will make it so only companies with lots of insurance can provide health care and then making the companies provide benefits and other things to the employees. It is about making home health care the new small business of tomorrow and then taxing it like mad.

We are looking at a growing elderly population. The baby boomers will become our next big industry, taking care of them. Oh yeah and they have money and they have houses that are paid off. If one bothers to go back to my old posts one will see that I discussed this long ago, I talked about large houses becoming mini-home health care businesses. Ain't nothing changed.

Where are the large houses other than in wealthy areas, well, they are in the suburbs. Ask yourself why we were building these six room houses when people are not having kids as much.

I Like This Article

Going to be kids. Read this article and liked it so, I am posting an link to it.

Musings on Marriage

I like her explanation of what works in marriage. It is about doing the things that the other person hates to do the most. I give her one thumb up, it is also about being thrilled by your partners successes. Sharing success and sharing problems, each doing what they can for the other. Knowing that their joy will cause you joy; but, doing it because you want them to be happy.

We are taught that we are innately selfish, we are told that when we do good acts it is because we want to see ourselves a certain way and get joy from that, it is a lie. A man does not jump on a hand grenade to save his friends because of how he wants to view himself. Only people who wouldn't jump on a hand grenade say such things.

I tell the people who work for me to do the right thing for the right reason. I never tell them to do what is best for my organization or myself, if me and my organization are doing what we should, my answer will always be right, if we are not then it is time we got things right. I am amazed at how some people that work for me still cannot understand that. It is because they don't think in those terms.

A Great Comparison

A person posted a comic on the website "Above Top Secret". I loved it, he was dead on. His point was that our world is more like "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley than it is like "1984" by George Orwell. I will argue that we are a bit of both.

Orwell believed we would become controlled into slavery. Huxley believed we would walk to it for the cookies. I say a bit of both; but, the majority go where the cookies are. It is not one approach it is using both with the blessings of the majority. If you can lead the majority with bread and circus then you can restrain the vocal minority with ridicule and monitoring. The very few who can explain what needs to be done are killed. That is the law of totalitarianism.

The vast majority of the people who live in China and Cuba do not think they are enslaved by their governments. Sheep go where the grass is, that is why they need sheep dogs and Shepherds. The vast majority of people will respond as you want to promises of pleasure and demonstrations of pain. For them, for the sheep, you give them just enough cookies that they will come back in a week or two. They will never travel far. Train them to respond to cookies and they will perform whatever trick you want. Because they respond to pain and pleasure in a predictable manner they respond best to pleasure. Impulse driven.

We live in a world where we are bombarded by images. We become addicted to the sounds and sights, they are more addictive than cocaine. Even reading the news can become addictive when it ceases to serve a purpose. While I read numerous news sources each day, I never read the about the same event twice. I don't care about the opinions or the spin that the paper takes, I just look at the relevant parts.

Lose your electricity for a week and see what your kids do. One week without television, radio, computers. They will be on the cell phone non-stop. They are trained to have constant data input. Look what happened when Facebook went down for two stinking days. Few people can handle the amount of data that is presented to us, they shut down or only take in what they find pleasurable.

When the majority refuse to chase the cookie, they get to decide what the world will be. If they still chase the cookie but are allowed to decide what the world will be, they make things worse.

A New Explanation of Why You Are Dreaming

This article from the New York Times is pretty funny. It talks about a Dr. Tononi and his research into consciousness. Contrary to most "consciousness scientists" he believes that they can rate consciousness. The other scientists think consciousness is merely a electro-chemical reaction. Wow, science at its best.

Dr. Tononi believes consciousness is merely data connecting to other data. In other words, your illusion of consciousness is merely information, thoughts combining. What nonsense. Helen Keller was conscious and purely emotional, no data. They never talk about emotions as being the basis of our consciousness because that would be beyond their belief set.

We are the ability to be aware of emotions and thoughts, we are not the thoughts and emotions. The first awareness we have of ourselves is of our emotions, our reaction to our existence. Our ability to be aware of our emotions is the big bang theory of personal existence. No amount of scientific logic can undo our awareness.

Beware of the type of science these clowns are attempting to pass of on us. The first set of scientists is dismissive of your life and existence. Their belief is that you are random chemical reactions, that does not make you or your life very significant. Dr. Tononi's answer is not much better. We will rate your life, your consciousness. "All animals are equal; but, some are more equal than others." The implications of his logic could be used in very bad ways.

Just like our cacao bean that has more genes than humans, what if the scientists discover that chickens are more conscious than you or I. There rating is not of consciousness, it is of data connections. If a chicken thinks about only two things and never stops thinking about them it may rate higher; but, it is not more complex or aware.

Consciousness, more importantly self-awareness, threatens science. It shouldn't be based on their world model. In addition, to accept that we have free will and self-awareness forces science to consider God. If consciousness is not merely mechanical then it must be divine. Computers will never become self-aware, the claim that they will cheapens and is an attack upon our humanity.

I believe that we will see more and more attempts to prove to people that they are merely mechanical reactions. Altered States of Consciousness that are achieved prematurely through drugs like DMT can destabilize peoples perception of themselves. We should allow our evolution, our growth to proceed at it's own pace. You matter.

Read this article about a dying man and his daughter then ask yourself if we are merely electrochemical reactions and/or data collections. I think we are more than that, I think we have souls and that is the part of us that is aware of this experience.

You are less complex than a chocolate bean

An article in an English newspaper states that "a human seems genetically less complex than a chocolate biscuit". What a thing to say. It totally misses what complexity is.

The scientists looked at the number of pairs in the dna sequence. Cocoa has more pairs of genes, that does not mean there is complexity. 40,000 identical pairs is not complex. 10,000 pairs that are each different is complexity. It is the number of genes, it is the combinations complexity that allows a living thing to have a wider variety of aspects.

It is the purity thing versus the variation thing again. Purity is all the same, heavy like gold. Variation is steel, it is much stronger than gold. Did you ever wonder who decided that gold had value? Think about it, gold was considered valuable 4,000 years ago. As a metal it is pretty useless except in electrical applications. It is too soft, it is difficult to find and is only good for jewelry. It is not the pretties thing, it is no prettier than copper which is a usable metal. So who decided it had value?

What made it valuable? What made it valuable was that it was heavier than any other metal. That had value because you could use it in weights. Remember, they use to weigh money. Weights and measures were critical to commerce prior to their being "official" money. The king set the weights, to violate the weight was sure death.

A cocoa bean would not know these things. It would never occur to a coffee bean to build a car. Why do they keep trying to trivialize us? Why do they keep trying to tell us that we are less than the things we experience? They are wrong, you matter, you are not the only one who matters; but, you matter too. The guy next to you, guess what, he matters. That cocoa bean cannot feel pain, it cannot learn and it has no concept of loneliness.

On being old and the last

The world's oldest man is 114, people have lived to be that old before. Mr. Walter Breuning was born in 1896. He was born before planes, cars, television, radio, computers, houses with electricity, World War I, World War II. He was born before my family came to this country.

There are three other people, ladies, who are as old as him. The world has changed around them. For Mr. Breuning, everyone who was alive and around him when he was born is gone. He is the Omega Man, the Last Man on Earth that was alive when he was born.

How strange it would be to be the oldest person in the world. What must it be like to see all of the changes that he has? They say his mind is still sharp and just think about the context he has and the knowledge he has about people. Happy Birthday Mr. Breuning.

A Loving Husband

A couple of posts back I tried to describe love. I read an article that in a very sad way demonstrates this. I think I will pray for this young lady. It is about a husband who sacrificed himself to save his wife, he loved her more than himself. That is love.

Miracles

Do you believe in miracles? I not sure I would know how to describe a miracle. On the one hand I consider it a miracle that any of us exist as sentient beings. There is no need for anything to exist. When you really think about it nothing really needs to exist especially self aware beings. On the other hand we see nature, we see the life process and we know that we are part of it. If we see nature do we see a miracle?

While the things I mentioned may be miracles, I do not think that is what the term refers to based on our knowledge. When people talk about miracles they are referring to things that are "supernatural", they are referring to things that do not follow the law of physics. Funny thing is that nothing on the quantum or subatomic level follows the laws of physics, does that mean that everything that is subatomic is miraculous?

In our usage of the word, a miracle seems to be something God does that appears to violate the law of physics. How do you explain a world that has miracles and no cause? That is the problem of quantum physics. Professor Hawkins seems to be okay with having miracles, he thinks it is natural. How do you logically get there?

Mr. Hawkins is basically saying that it makes perfect sense for subatomic objects to violate every rule of physics as long as we understand we have parallel universes that fill in the blanks; but, we don't know how they fill in the blanks. He resorts to saying that everything is connected by one dimensional strings that we cannot see or understand.

I have more respect for physicists if they just said, "We don't understand why things do what they do yet, we are still working on it." Hey, that would be honest; but, then we might not think they have all the answers, we might look for ourselves and arrive at our own conclusions.

New posts soon enough

Having a day with family. Hope you enjoy yours.

Beware False Solutions

After I wrote my last post, I read a news opinion. Michael Moore called for putting the mosque AT ground zero. The writer identified the same problem as I just wrote about, the conflict of bias. His solution was for MODERATES to take over the churches.

What is a moderate, someone who holds no hard beliefs. I do not believe in religious moderates. That may sound strange. I am not talking about the people we call extremists, they rarely even know what their religion teaches. Instead they follow their biases not the words of their founders.

I have said it before, if you do not believe what your "religion" believes, leave it rather than attempt to "modernize" it. If it wrong, it is wrong, if it is the truth, die for it. Not kill for it, die for it.

There was a church in China. The communists came in and said that each person had to renounce their faith or die. They asked who believed, a young girl walked up and said she would not renounce her faith. She was the first to speak. She was willing to die for what she believed in, that is religion, that is true faith. Moderates believe in nothing.

One of my professors was talking to us about politics, he said he could live with believers on either side but had no respect for moderates because they have no beliefs and are guided by the beliefs of society. That is what makes sheep, sheep. They go with the pack and stand for nothing. If you believe in nothing, you will fall for anything.

Moderates cannot lead nor explain anything. They are always in the middle of extremists rather than trying to determine the truth, they seek harmony rather than truth. We should seek truth and to live in harmony.

More Anti-Religious Garbage

You are being scammed with false arguments. The mosque at ground zero controversy is garbage and so is the burning of the Koran, it is all garbage meant to get you to take side that are not based on understanding but are based on bigotry. Now we have some Hasidic Jews suing over their "freedom of religion". They want to build a church and home and pool in a historic district. The historic district is attempting to stop them.

By pushing both issues at the same time, the hope is that you will willingly allow rules that weaken true religious belief. The Hasidic could build their synagogue anywhere, they chose the historic district for a reason, to create a problem. Now, the issue is should we be able to legislate historic districts, my answer is no. If the state wishes to have historic districts, eminent domain exists, buy the property.

Sometimes restrictions are placed in deeds, some are not allowed. The question is how much one can restrict the future owner of the property. There was a time when you could put in a deed that people could not sell the property to blacks. The courts said this was unenforceable. The question in regards to deeds is contractual. The issue should be one of effect on the seller and others.

If I sell you my house, I can say that you should not be able to turn it into a brothel as that would have a negative effect on the neighborhood. The activity itself is not consistent with a family neighborhood and people bought houses to live in a family environment. Selling my house to a black family will not effect anyone unless they choose to interact with them. A brothel brings traffic.

It is important that we look beyond the inflammatory rhetoric and ask ourselves what truths we hold dear and not which biases we love to hold onto. It is not a question of what people should be allowed to do, it is a question of under which circumstances they should be allowed to. It is a question of options and choices, the more we are limited the less additional limitations should be put on us or eventually we have no freedom.

Religion versus Belief

There is an intellectual game going on. The game is one where "religion" and "faith" are redefined as "belief". I have discussed this before. The freedom in the Constitution is a freedom of religion, not of belief. We are currently seeing an attack on religion, not by stopping it but instead by saying any belief can be a "religion". It is a backdoor way of undermining your freedoms.

Religion requires a belief in the afterlife. The freedom was guaranteed because people will die for their religion knowing that there is something greater to come. The freedom was guaranteed so that people would know that they could live in America and have the right to practice what they believed so dearly.

The Pilgrims came to America to practice their religion, they were willing to die to come here, they gave up everything they had. Now we are downgrading this type of faith to belief. A young lady in North Carolina was told that she could not have a nose piercing while in school, she said it violated her religion. She belongs to a "church" that believes body modification is an expression of self, they believe in no Deity, no God. This is not a religion.

Every belief is not a religion. I have no problem with saying that the girl is acting on her freedom of expression; but, they chose to call it a religion and that is simply a lie. Atheism is not a religion, it is a belief. The founding fathers knew the difference and that is why they talked about freedom of speech and expression.

It is the most cynical thing in the world to classify all beliefs as religious, it shows a true disregard for peoples faiths. Faith and religion are based on worship not like. Faith is not belief, the word used in the bible for faith means to rest your whole weight on, to risk everything for it. The same word used for faith in the old testament is used to describe leaning on a walking stick. It is about a faith that you rely on and act on, a trust that cannot be denied. I doubt this girl has faith in the nose piercing.

Father Damien was a priest who moved to a leper colony to help them when nobody else would. He contracted the disease and died. That man had faith. To compare some child who wants to wear a nose ring to Father Damien or someone who is truly living their faith is disgusting to me. It takes away from what people have done for real faith.

I disagree with her school telling her that she cannot have a piercing, that is a violation of her freedom of speech and of body. She is forced to go to school (and I have discussed this before), because the state requires her to go to school (a restriction on her rights in and of itself) it should be limited in what it can require of her in other ways. She has not violated societies laws.

There will be some who will attempt to compare the restriction on her body piercing to the outlawing of burqas in France, they are not the same and I have already discussed the burqas. Both are an attempt to obfuscate and confuse the real issues. In France it is about her religion and the media discussion is about clothing, in the United States the issue is about clothing and the media wishes to discuss religion.

Our ability to define words, to use them with precision denies the ability to make good judgements. The truth is that most people will read the article and take sides not based on what the Constitution meant; but, instead it will be based on how it effects them or how they feel about burqas or piercings. If we willing chip away at the constitution by ignoring it's intent we have no law.

Choices

There is a "scientist" who wrote a book called "The God Delusion". He is incredibly arrogant and dismissive of people who do not agree with him. I have met many people like him in the last few years. I watched a video of him talking and just had to laugh.

In the same way that the gnostic beliefs have just been repackaged, the slavery of atheism has not changed. If people choose to be non-believers or agnostics or Luciferian or anything else, it is their choice. I can even deal with a Solipsist. But, the arguments are still tired.

I have heard the argument that if there was a loving God then the world would be a place of non-stop joy and happiness. This is one of the most childish answers. Growth involves pain, always does, always forces us out of our comfort zone. Beyond that, it assumes all sort of silly things about the nature of existence.

I have also heard the argument that there are all these religions that cannot agree and therefore how can any of them be correct. How does that apply to any other belief, it isn't used for politics or business.

Another frequent comment is how more people have been killed for religion than anything else; besides being bad math it is irrelevant. If one counts how many people were killed by the Chinese Communists, the Russian Communists, the Cambodian Communists and the Nazis, I assure you atheists have killed far more. Still, it doesn't prove anything about God, it proves something about how cruel we can be regardless of the things we say we believe. The argument basically comes down to whoever killed the most people has the wrong idea about eternity.

One can neither prove nor disprove God with science alone. Quantum physics definitely brings into question our beliefs in science. It shows that our "scientific laws" contradict themselves; but, it does not prove God. I believe the proof of God is inside us, it is our self awareness, our ability to have emotions. There is no scientific explanation for that. They try, oh how they try, but they prove nothing.

You exist, you know this and nothing they say can tell you that you do not exist as a self aware being. Free will does exist and all the nonsense that we are told cannot change that, the truth is inside of you. The attempts to compare us to worms and trees and rocks are meaningless, the simplest answer is the best, you exist and you know it, you have meaning and experience this life.

So why are people adamant on "proving" that we are not important, that our lives are not meaningful and that we should just seek out pleasure? Why do they ask us to ask us to act like lower animals when we can be so much more?

When I was in High School I smoked pot. I decided to quit before college. It irritated my friends, they kept trying to get me to smoke with them. It was if they felt my choice not to smoke was an attack on their choice to smoke. By the way, I am not Bill Clinton, I inhaled and got high more than once. If Bill Clinton had been arrested for having pot, would the courts have let him off for saying he did not inhale? He continued to keep pot illegal, sort of a double standard.

If I believe that the ten commandments are really just ideals and that they don't need to be followed, I might not like it if you say that they do need to be followed. The purpose behind all atheist arguments are that they want to do what they want to do and do not wish to have a moral judgement placed on them. This is even the belief of pederasts. Child molesters say that all love is good and we should not judge them.

Whether one believes in the big bang theory or creationism, neither can be proved by science. We were not there. If science cannot prove either than we must turn to philosophy and scientists do not like that. Logic rather than an ability to duplicate. Stephen Hawkins said he could prove that everything came from nothing using science alone, good, follow the scientific rules and duplicate it. Oooooops.

If Mr Hawkins did duplicate it, would he be a God? Would he be a God to the new universe? Why do we want to be God rather than ourselves, is it so that we don't have to follow the rules and can just live off the cookies we create. Club Med religions, no growth just cookies.

God either is or is not, what is interesting is our reasons for believing or not. I was agnostic, I researched all religions. I also researched atheism. I dismissed atheism as any good philosophy student would. You cannot prove something does not exist that has not been experienced BY YOU. That is science 101.

There was a man who was a UFO investigator, he wasn't interested in UFOs as much as he was interested in the UFO societies culture, their reasons for believing. I am sort of like him. I don't care what you believe as much as I am interested in the reasons you believe something.

I believe in God. I believe I have a personal relationship with him. That is not why I believe in God. Every belief we hold should be held against a light, the light should ask why we believe. I shall say why I believe.

I heard a man talk once about the resurrection. He said there were only so many choices:

1. Jesus never existed and there were no apostles. This is a tough one because Paul was a Roman citizen and he and other Christians died at the hands of the Romans. Paul existed, Peter existed, Mathew existed, Mark existed, Luke existed, John existed. Many of Jesus followers died and their deaths were recorded by the Romans and the Jews.

2. Jesus existed but did not die on the cross. This is a problem also. We are asked to believe that thousands of people who lived in Jesus' time and saw him die, professed his resurrection to the Romans knowing they would be tossed to death by lions and tigers and bears, oh my. I don't think I want to die for something I know didn't happen.

Jesus is a historical problem. While I was an agnostic, my major was History. There are rules to writing about history. Assumptions are made based on rules. History is also a science. The conclusions we draw from it are social science; but, archeology and geology are sciences. Denying that Jesus existed is really bad science.

Now, here is scientific problem. The Ethiopians have an ark, they say it is the ark of the covenant. If they bring it out and it is carbon dated to have been from the time of Moses, will that prove God? My answer is no; but, what an annoying historical fact it will make. We will have to accept that the Hebrews did in fact carry around an Ark of the Covenant from the time they said that God commanded them to.

If such a thing were to occur, would atheists become at least agnostic and examine the implications. They would not because in the end it is the implications that they fear. What they fear is that there is wrong and right, that we have a duty to each other and consequences for our decisions, that free will has a price tag. That is the real fear. The fear is that free will has a price tag and that the price tag is consequences for being selfish.

The real argument is not over science, it is over responsibility for our deeds. We know we are not perfect. Some choose to believe that they will never be held accountable for their imperfection. Some choose to believe that they are perfect. And some choose to believe that there is no price tag for the things we do in this life. I believe there is a God and I believe there is a price tag. I have sinned and I have done wrong, I believe the price tag can be guilt or pain, I prefer the truth of guilt, it changes us and we seek to be less guilty.

With the type of thinking that I see in the world, I am surprised that we do not have a national "Adulterers Pride Day". I am surprised we do not have a pride day for every sin, perhaps someday we will. Someone talked to me today about two of my posts, one was serious and the other was about my post on Legs. He pointed out a woman with nice legs and rubbed his the way I described in my post. It was very funny. I admitted, I like nice legs, nice shapely legs, smooth legs and soft legs.

I have lusted after many women. I cannot lie, I am a man and I like the look of women. It is true that I have not taken advantage of them; but, I like the way they look and smell and feel. Two thumbs up to there being women in the world. I actually feel guilty for lusting after the lovely little creatures. Not because they would be offended; because I fall short of perfection. Perfection would be loving only one and her loving only you. Anything that falls short of perfection is sin. That is what the word means. We hate not being perfect.

We are imperfect, not because we are bad, we are not imperfect because we are not all powerful, we are imperfect because we are not all knowing. The perfection of God is in his lovingness, it is in his concern for others, his concern for us and his willingness for us to choose our own way. If you love something, let it go, if it is yours it will return.

I will tell the truth, I have been asked to write books on many things, it is not going to happen. I write the blog because it is quick. I can get out thoughts and don't have to do all the filthy work of proving everything and notating. I can do it and do it for a living, I just want to be free of the requirements sometimes, I like my free will also. Problem with free will is that you are responsible for what you do with it.

My Car is Mad at Me

My car was getting cranky and I knew. It is 8,000 miles past service and the brakes needed to be fixed. As a consequence, the car is in the shop and I am stuck at home. Pout. I am also suffering from allergies. Great day. LOL.

Being stuck at home I was reading the news. One site I visit occasionally is called "Above Top Secret". They post about different things and bring up odd news stories. The site is fairly well moderated and some of the posters make a real effort to study up on what they write. A new thread is about whether or not Misogyny is ruining the male female relationships.

As I mentioned a young friend of mine is getting married. I have also said that I plan to marry again someday, I believe in marriage. The first thing about the thread I read was that everybody that posted believed that the male female relationships are not going well, nobody disagreed about that point. That in and of itself is horrifying.

So what is ruining relationships? I believe it is selfishness. People were raised and society told them that they have to look out for themselves first and they do. It is the search for personal pleasure rather than team work. It is not just relationships that suffer because of this, it is everything. We see it in our work places, we see it in politics, we see it everywhere.

When I got married, my wife told me that we should always put ourselves first. I disagreed, I said we should always put the kids first. She had been raised differently that I. People do not wish to have children in the west because they do not wish to have personal freedom impinged upon, selfishness.

How have we come to such a situation, it is not natural? We are designed and wired to have and love children. Our biology is designed for it, our greatest pleasure is in the sexual act. You can talk all you want about overpopulation, that is not the issue, people no longer wish to have children. Having children forces you to be less selfish.

You cannot love if you think of yourself first. You may think it is love; but, it is not. Love is putting another persons happiness before your own. Love is not a feeling, it is not lust, it is a way of thinking. It is the opposite of worrying about what you get out of a relationship. It is worrying about what you bring to the relationship. It is about both people feeling fortunate to be with the other.

I Have Nothing to Say

I just have nothing to say lately. It isn't quite writers block. It is more like I just don't have anything on my mind. I am not accustomed to this. I do apologize. My mind is unaccustomed be being blank. I am always thinking about some scenario or something going on in the world. I think my mind is taking a vacation.

I used to wonder what it would like to be normal. On the one hand you are accepted by a broader range of people. On the other hand, you are normal. I am not anti-normal, some people with Aspergers are, they have nasty little names for normal people. That makes them as bad as the people who mistreated them. They do not understand how hard we can be on people.

I used to wonder if being normal would make everything easier, possibly even bearable. In the end I decided I just want to be me and see where that goes. Oh, I had some good news, a wonderful young man who used to be my assistant (read babysitter, confidant, bodyguard and friend) is getting married. I could not be happier. I have watched this young man become a force to be reckoned with.

I have many people who have wanted really bad to be my assistant, to learn from me. I am not bragging, it is just what it is. I don't let people just be my assistant. I pity anyone who is my personal assistant, it is a bad job. I am not mean to anyone who works for me, I am not very demanding per se. But, my personal assistant I expect one thing from, they must be ready, willing and able to do whatever needs to be done. I don't care what it is or how hard it is and they are not allowed to cheat. No skipping a step and attempting to hide it.

When he came to work for me I told him that he could never lie again and that he needed to needed to be as good in bed with his partner as he was at work. ROFL. I really told him that. He assured me that he took care of business. I have spent many wonderful hours with his fiance and him and I believe he has done me proud, he is like a son to me.

I have three daughters and as bad as they can be, I would not trade them for the world. They are mine and I love them. I never felt a need to have a boy, happy with what I got. I trust God on such things; but, it is nice to have young men look up to me. I cannot tell you what a honor it is to have young men ask my advice on personal matters.

As men we are apt to not ask advice, to try and show that we have all the answers. I have young men ask me romance advice. Pretty good for 50. I listen to the stories that young men tell me, stories about seeing their mothers beat, I see their controlled anger and pain. I listen to the stories of young men who just want to get a job and have a wife. This is the hardest time in history for young men. No roll models, no job future and yet they still have all of that young man energy and enthusiasm.

There is a reason young men do stupid things on motorcycles and skate boards and with chili peppers. They have all this strength and energy and it has to be shown. As young men we have a need to show that we are tougher and more fearless than the other guys. We do not do the stupid stuff for girls, we do it for each other. It also reinforces that we can be trusted in a hard situation.

When a man loves a woman, truly loves her, he will do anything to protect her. It is a shame that we have destroyed that type of love. All a man needs is to have a woman look up at him as if he was the answer to fear in her life. There is nothing greater for a man's ego then to have a woman feel safe because he is with her, that trust is the greatest aphrodisiac.

Earlier today, after I found out about my friends wedding, I was sitting with three young men and one young lady in my garage. We were just chit chatting and I mentioned how my friend was getting married. I then told them about what advice I had given my friend for staging their wedding night. Not sexual advice, setting a mood, knowing what she would be thinking. Two of the young men really seemed to be taking notes. How nice that young men want to know how to romance young women.

My ex taught me one thing, women decide what they will wear and what the situation will be when they are going to hurt a man. I thank her for knowing this, the opposite should be true of men. We should think in advance about how we will treat a lady and then we are capable of romance. Romance is making the effort to think of the little things rather than just trying to figure out how to take off a young ladies panties.

Romance is the spice of life. I dated a woman for a year and we never kissed. The first move should always be by the woman. The idea is to let her decide so that she knows she is safe. Women should run relationships because men are stronger. It is just a fact. If you love someone you want to feel safe.

One of the young men I know, and I have mentioned him once before, is a very big and physically intimidating man, he is also very gentle. If I hit him, he would not hit me back. I would never hit him, I like him. If you grew up, as a woman, seeing your mother beat up what would expect from life? My father was a wonderful man, USMC and more. I never saw my father lift his hand to my mother, I never lifted my hand to my ex, my brother never lifted his had to his wife and my brother in law never lifted his hand to my sister. Men never lift their hands to women. If you can prove you are tough by snorting wasubi, you can keep your FXXXing hands off of women.

Again, another rambling post. Sorry. I have no respect for any man who lifts his hands to a woman, use the door and leave. If we are stronger we must earn the right to our strength and that is by love and restraint. Be well.

Preparing for Changes

I am a creature of habit in many ways. I like to have a stable base and then change things; but, I don't like my base to be unstable. For the past five or six years my base has been unstable. Now it is time to make a new base and I feel anxious.

Interrupted again. I wrote my intro hours ago. I cannot finish what I began. I suck. Be well.

Where are you being led?

The 9/11 mosque versus burning Koran garbage was just too obvious, meant to inflame people. The question is where are you being led. The answer in this article is to only listen to the official explanation. Respect their AUTHORITY. What a crock of garbage. The vast majority of Christians do not agree with burning anyone's bible and the vast majority of Muslims don't want to have a mosque at "ground zero". The vast majority of people want to have a simple life, love a spouse, raise their kids and not get brutally murdered or tortured. Isn't that how you feel?

No Post

I just have nothing to say. I know it is 9/11 I can't really add anything to that.

Something slightly sexy

Romance, it seems to be a dead art. Romance is considered a waste of time anymore. I was talking to one of the young men I know about why I have chosen to not take some of the feminine opportunities that have been available. When I was younger premarital sex was still frowned upon. It is difficult for young people to even understand how that effected the blossoming of relationships.

I explained how it was very common for kids to not be allowed to date until they were 16. I remember those times, I watched them come to an end. I tried to explain that you might have gone to elementary school with a girl and known her for ten years before you asked her out on a date. It seems alien to people today. I also explained that most people knew each other pretty well by the time they dated, they had grown up together. It is part of the reason there were fewer divorces in the past.

When people talk about how they married their high school sweetheart, it was often someone they knew as a child and had watched develop over the years. This was especially true in smaller cities and towns. Once the young couples had decided to date, then came the courtship. People have forgotten how wonderfully exciting courtship can be. I hope have not.

Courtship is a slow dance rather than a race for the bed. It was measured by how intimate you had become with a lady, a process not a result. Each time together you would get just a little more intimate, eventually this would lead to "heavy petting". The effect on people and their relationship that followed is different than what you get by sleeping together by the third date.

I wanted to write a story illustrating the difference and have decided to give it a try. Wish me luck.

THE DANCE

I remember the day I decided that I wanted to take Barbara on a date. I had known here since we were ten and had never thought of her as anything other than a girl. We had plenty of girls in our schools and she seemed to be just another. She was pretty enough and smart enough; but, growing up I was more into football with my friends.

Sometime around entering High School something changed. I can't tell you exactly what occurred but girls seemed much more interesting than they had. I noticed that people I had known since childhood began hooking up and going out together. I began looking at the girls differently, my friends and I would discuss what we thought of the different girls, their good points and bad points.

I hadn't noticed; but, over the last year Barbara had become less of a girl and more of a woman. One day my friend Steve was talking to me and asked me what I thought about Barbara. I didn't know what to tell him, something in my gut felt odd. I said I liked her well enough and moved on. I started thinking about her and watching her more as the days passed. I noticed little things, like the way she walked and how she played with her hair when she didn't know an answer in class. Stupid things really but I found them charming, unique to her.

One day, we had a show in the auditorium and I got to watch her sing. That was the day I decided that I would ask her out. Sitting in the dark auditorium watching her with spotlight on her I began to feel something. I felt I wanted to be alone with her.

SORRY, IT DIDN'T WORK. THE STORY FORMAT ISN'T WORKING FOR ME.

Back in the day, sex was not a for sure thing. Women were taught to be young ladies and it had meaning. The legs did not open unless there was commitment. You might date for years without having sex. In fact, the dating was the thing. Watch "American Graffiti" for a feel of it.

There was a time when women who slept around were considered "bad girls" and there was a time when there were "good girls". There was a time when there were gentlemen rather than studs. I see very few ladies and gentlemen anymore.

When young ladies were developing, it was a thing of beauty. It was something treasured and valued by men of class. Good men wanted a woman who would be a good wife and raise their children with the same values. It was a search for beauty rather than sex. The excitement of not knowing if you would would get to touch a breast. Quite an achievement at one time.

Intimacy is letting someone see and feel parts of you that you intend only for you and one other person. It is the exclusivity that makes it intimate. If you do not cherish your body and privacy then there can be no intimacy. Intimacy makes a relationship different than all of your other relationships. It makes your partner and lover your best friend, the one you tell your secrets too because they have proven their love.

Imagine, if you will, going into a relationship knowing that you will take your time in getting to know another. Imagine agreeing to take things slowly, the anticipation, the wonderment. Imagine getting each other one body part at a time.

The first date is holding hands, the second date is a peck on the cheek, the third date a kiss. The fourth date is a roundup of the previous three. The next date may explore arms. The passion builds, the sweetness of anticipation. Each step achieved individually, if done well then one is allowed to proceed to the next level.

There are people who practice tease, we have names for them. I am not talking about teasing, I am talking about timing. I am talking about learning. Learning what your partner likes. We all enjoy an orgasm; but, there are other things we can enjoy. We don't know what those are if we go straight to sex.

There are things I do not like, I do not like my nipples played with. I don't know why, I just don't like it. I like to hug a lot, that is wonderful foreplay for me. I like hugging; but, it has to be the right kind. The caring kind.

Experimenting and learning mean that you are paying attention, that being a good partner is more important than being an immediate partner. Some experiments will fail, that is great. The first time you have intercourse, you should know your partner so well that you cannot displease them, you should have driven the rest of the road in advance.

I have failed miserably, I have not presented what I am trying to explain in a satisfying manner. We live in a fast food culture, we are impatient about everything. We do not know the joy of anticipation. You should approach a woman's body the same way you approach Christmas, let the excitement build. You should approach relationships in the same way, you have a lifetime to learn them. Put things in order, don't start the mystery novel by reading the end.

Romance is missing from our world. Romance is a hesitant woman and a man who is willing to be patient and prove that he has a better self. After 24 years together, I still brought flowers weekly, as some died, I would replace them. I have faults, plenty, in fact as many as anyone else. But, I still believe in romance and in marriage.

I believe in marriage, I believe in growing together, even through the hard parts. I believe a relationship should have hard parts or it is not truthful. We are not perfect for anyone, we are practically perfect for someone. Learning our joys and dislikes is developing a relationship.

A relationship is not non-stop pleasure. Romantic love cannot be sustained forever; but, romance can. The giddy highs you feel at the beginning cannot be held onto for every second for decades. We like the giddy highs so many go into serial relationships constantly seeking the high. Sometimes a good buzz is better.

I just can't get this together right. I will post it but apologize that it didn't come together the way I wanted. It may have value but I did not get out what I wanted and I know it. Have a great weekend.

The Coming of Direct Democracy is Bad

The sheep were intentionally rattled. The threats of global governance and stricter monitoring of us will have the real goal realized. The people of many nations are revolting against their governments. The call goes out to take back our governments. It is said in France, Greece, England, the United States and even Iran. People who are unhappy with the current state of affairs are throwing out people from all the parties to find people that are not "professional" politicians. They will succeed, sort of.

There is a call for a international referendum coming from Europe. Most states do not have initiative or referendums. They are tools used by governments whereby the people directly vote for a law. Sounds good doesn't it? It is good to a point.

I have spent 46 of my 50 years on earth learning about government. I know a thing or two about how they work, not just my own, I studied them all and their laws. I was one of the few to take classes in comparative law and comparative government. I see government as a necessary evil. I do not believe in direct democracy. People who know me will be quite surprised to learn this.

Direct democracy (as opposed to representational democracy) and proportional legislation are systems that are incapable of reasoned change and tend to make constitutions meaningless. Jesus told us to be good slaves for a reason, the majority of people make lousy masters and are incapable of being good leaders.

The founding fathers were smart, they studied what had been done in other countries throughout history. The Constitution created representational democracy. It allowed average people to vote for people they considered the most knowledgeable and reasonable to run the country for them. It worked so long as those were the people we voted for.

The problem we face today is that people now vote their pocketbook, they vote for people who they believe will institute policies that will favor them, rather than do the right thing. They vote for people of low morals who will vote for policies that favor them. Bill Clinton is a good example, he was immoral and lied and people voted for him anyways. I feel the exact same way about George W. Bush. I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican.

We do worse than waste our votes, we vote for people we don't like and don't trust, we vote based on color or gender or association. We vote for "our guy" rather than the right guy. We don't bother to learn the law or decide what policies are best. Political discussion in this country is limited to people getting angry and taking sides. Name calling is considered appropriate, consider the use of the word tea baggers. It is depressing to see our President use the term.

Direct democracy will only make things worse. People will still vote their pocketbook; but, will have no restraint. They will still vote their bigotry. We can know the biases of the people we vote for; but, how can you know the bias of a nation, you can only speculate.

Direct democracy works well in small, homogeneous societies. I lived in the last town to have Town Hall government in the United States. We had under 6,000 people in the town and one stop light. The town, I was told, was the second town founded after Plymouth Plantation. It was named after the Earl of Sandwich.

The Town Hall system worked because everybody in those small towns understood that their lives were intertwined, they depended on each other and to harm any of them was to harm them all so they spent a lot of time talking to each other to decide what was best. You cannot duplicate that on the internet, the voters do not depend on each other in a way that they understand.

I had more to say; but, I have been interrupted so many times that I just can't hang on to my thoughts. Sorry.

Another Day, Another Post

I was talking to a friend who works with me. She and I finalized our divorces at about the same time, hers took 5 years and mine 3. Sometimes I think about my life that evaporated before my eyes. When your spouse leaves you for someone else after decades together, it effects you in strange ways.

At first you may feel confused then depressed and then angry; but, even once those feelings have passed you are still left with ghosts. I do not miss my ex-wife and I do not ever wish to see her again, this is not about her. What I am talking about are memories and hopes and habits.

The memories get redefined in light of what we know. The hopes, the hopes for our future, our plans are discarded and new ones must be determined. That takes awhile; but, you start developing new plans eventually. The last part is the habits, the things you don't even think about. Things like which side of the bed you sleep on, how the toilet paper is put on the roll, which drawers hold the utensils, the million little habits that you developed overtime with your spouse.

The reason the habits are the last to go is because we don't even recognize them until something clicks. The habits need to go too. If we are to be free and ready to have a new relationship that is complete we have to renegotiate the habits with the new person.

The last remnant of a past relationship. The last anchor to a ship that has sailed. I am in the process of removing that anchor. I didn't know it was there. When you are the person who was left you have time to grieve and remove all of these barriers from interfering with having future healthy relationships. I am not saying it is easy, I am saying you have the choice to do so. When you are the person who left for another, that chance is a lot harder to come by, maybe impossible.

From others I have known who were in my situation, many chose to never fully trust the opposite sex again. Trust is a tough one and is the first one you have to deal with. You must make a complete commitment to trusting another again, trusting them as if you had never been hurt in a relationship. If you do not do that you will never address the rest of the grieving process. It is all or nothing.

I have not know the intimate scent of any woman other than my ex-wife. Scent is a very powerful memory inducer. As the years have passed the memory begins to fade. I wonder if the scent of my future partner will seem odd to me. It is these types of things that must fade from the memory before we can totally move on.

To have your spouse leave you for another is tough; but, on the bright side, you can move on completely if you work through it. I feel bad for widows and widowers because giving up those memories and habits is much harder. They have no reason to purge their memory. It is true that they do not need to deal with the betrayal; but, they must deal with things that make having a new relationship harder. They must deal with unresolved issues that they can never address directly.

"Gone With The Wind" is a great book and movie. It is about having your world taken from you. Everyone deals with the loss of their world differently. Some move on and others do not, they still miss the world they lost. I do not miss the world I lost anymore because I never really had that world. People around me were living dual lives not the ones I thought they were.

It is easier to come to grips with the fact that the life you were living was an illusion because you can see that it was an illusion and nothing you believed was true. The truth is easier than making up lies. It is harder to come to grips with the fact that the life you had cannot be achieved. Less hope in getting it back for a widower or widow.

And what of the cheating spouse? That is funny, they did not appreciate what they had so they must look for something different. There is nothing to mourn because they did not like what they had, they wanted more. It becomes a question of whether or not anyone will ever treat them as well. Sometimes the answer is yes and sometimes the answer is no. It depends on how they were treated, life remains the same.

My ex-wife's mother is a very nice lady and I love her dearly. I have never said a bad thing about her and I never will, I have nothing bad to say about her. When she was my mother in law, in 27 years of knowing her we only ever had one disagreement and it was minor. I miss her dearly and will love her till the day I die. She left her husband, I do not believe she cheated on him and have no reason to believe so. She left because she said he did not adore her enough, that is what she told my ex-wife. Years later she never found someone who did love her as much as he did, she said leaving him was the greatest mistake she ever made.

Being with someone means hard work. The love part is great and sex is a pretty nice cherry on top of the ice cream. Problem is that we live in a world that requires much of us just to get by. Most of us must work and we cannot romance every second. That can be hard on the person who isn't doing the work to understand. My ex-father in law worked hard, I worked hard, my ex-brother in law worked hard. They all married men who worked hard to provide for their families.

My ex-father in law and I did not always get along. I did not like the way he let his new wife treat his children from his prior marriage. I would not have had that issue if his ex-wife, my ex-mother and law had still been married to him. I liked his work ethic and sense of humor.

There are few people in this world that can afford not to work. Most women will never meet one of them. While romance and excitement 24 hours a day may seem like a nice dream and can be obtained in spurts, it cannot be sustained in this world. If your fantasy involves a life of uninterrupted joy, you are in the wrong place. If you wish to be "adored" 24/7, you are not going to find it.

What do you look for in a relationship? What is achievable? What if, what if what you look for is commitment to grow together, to go through the tough spots and know that the high spots will come back? That is reality, that is life. That is the best we can hope for. Jumping from person to person to keep up the highs cannot succeed, this is not Club Med. Instead you are left with a series of relationships that never fully developed, arrested development is all you get.

I thank my co-worker for the conversation we had today, she is very insightful about some things. It caused me to think and right, this has helped me to understand myself. I believe I am ready to move past the habits and develop new ones. It is not so much about being willing to move past as it is about being open to developing new habits and new patterns. Patterns that you can only develop with a new partner. I think I am ready now.

UPDATE

I was wrong, I passed this part earlier, I just didn't know it. Scent, the scent of a woman. I had sniffed the nape of the neck of a woman I dated and had been intoxicated by her aroma. It was one of the women I dated. I did love her aroma, I was able to be excited by new women. I was able to progress in my experience of dating. I kept getting closer to what I need and what they need. I thank everyone of the women I dated for helping me to heal and see how amazing they can be as they progress.

Perhaps I have answered my own question, am I ready to move along to a new relationship? I think the answer is yes. I think it is just a matter of being patient and waiting till I meet the person who is also ready. Be well and may God keep you in his good graces.

How Strange Politics Is

I want to make sure I understand correctly. Jerry Brown is running for Governor. That much I know. He came to Los Angeles to raise money and announce his commercials were coming out. Okay. The party was attended by Public Union Leaders and John Perez. Mr. Perez is the speaker of the State Assembly and the cousin of the Mayor.

Jerry Brown filed a civil law suit against Mr. Alfred Villalobos and a former CalPers Board member named Fred Buenrostro for fraud. Now that was odd because you usually file criminal suits for bribery. It is also claimed that Mr. Villalobos gave a $300,000 condo to Mr Buenrostro when he left CalPers.

Mr. Villalobos claims that Mr. Brown knows he did nothing wrong and that he is being prevented from calling certain CalPers personnel to testify. Sounded sort of like a threat to me when I read it originally. These things often get interesting as they play out. This one is.

Mr. Villalobos then filed bankruptcy. The judge in the bankruptcy case said he would block the suit against Mr. Villalobos for bribery and fraud. How fortunate for Mr. Villalobos. The judge could not have done it if Mr. Brown had filed a CRIMINAL case against Mr. Villalobos. Why didn't good old Jerry file a criminal case? Don't you want to know?

Now another ex-Calpers member decided to invoke the fifth amendment 126 times when asked if he had received any gifts from Mr. Villalobos. In short, that means he refused to answer the questions on the grounds that it might incriminate him.

Mr. Perez is interesting, he rented an apartment from CIM Group in their Gas Company lofts, a project he voted on to subsidize. Our friends at CIM had paid Mr. Villalobos $16 million dollars for being a placement agent for CalPers.

It seems like everybody is friends. Politicians, Union Leaders and CalPers officials. The people who have lost their retirement are the union members and the people being asked to pay more into the system are the taxpayers. Maybe they should be asking why Mr. Brown did not charge Mr. Villalobos with a criminal suit. Well, in his run for governor it looks like at least he will have union leadership support, he shall not have mine.

The Truth

Someone kept me up so I have a last word. I wrote a post yesterday and never posted it. While I was writing I had a realization. I remembered something and understood it better. I understood that I had always been right about something. It is something very personal so I did not post it. I wrote anyways just to organize my thoughts. Writing itself has value and helps us to hear our own thoughts. When you say something out loud you can hear the truth or falsity in it a little better, even more if you tell another.

And then what?

Someone on "Above Top Secret" (a website) asked what happens after we go to heaven. People's answers were interesting. Lots of talk about kicking back and enjoying. I am surprised by people's views of heaven. They view heaven as club med. I have read my bible and I know that it says in heaven all tears are wiped away; but, it does not say that we just go back to being lumps.

If heaven were just laying around having sex and food then what would the point of this experience be? Life is tough, we face many tragedies. The same question applies to hell. Non-stop torture has no value either.

Let us consider the nature of God. We are told he is a loving God who cares about us. So, why are we allowed to make each other so miserable? That question is rather easy, free will. If we did not have free will then we would not have our own personality, we would not choose who we wanted to be. Many of us do not, we give up our free will in exchange for goodies. Still, it is our choice.

Learning to manage our free will, learning to be with one another is just the beginning. It is the school that we are in. We decide what and whether or not we learn. Some choose pure selfishness, to be their own gods, to do as they will and not worry about anyone else. Their heaven is complete control. I have said before, if all you care about is yourself then eventually that is all you have. That is my definition of hell, solitary confinement.

Heaven, for me, is people caring as much about each other than about themselves. In that heaven we would seek to spend as much time with each other, continuing to learn and grow because each of us could share our unique perspectives with each other. This leaves us with the vast majority of people, cookie chasers.

I would assume that they get neither heaven nor hell, they get to try again till they define themselves. Or perhaps they do all become one having eternally given up their individuality. No conflict, to be sure; but, little variety. A group think experience of the universe.

No matter where one ended up, in my three scenarios, there is still a universe to experience. Earth is just one stop. Maybe life is just like water where we all find our own level. Free will would call for such a thing. The three strike rule might apply, you get three chances to choose, then you get your final answer.

No matter what the answer is, an eternity of rest and fulfilling urges does not make sense. I still like the story Jim Stafford told. A man died and went with St. Peter, he was taken to hell. In hell there was a beautiful table laid out, it had all the best food and everyone sat around it with three foot long forks and spoons on their hands. No matter how desperately they attempted to feed themselves, they could not. The man was then taken to heaven, he saw the exact same thing, except in heaven they were feeding each other. Who have you fed today?

Couple of videos

I am old school, especially for music. There are however some good musicians today. I would like to present some.

Travis Barker, drums. This boy can play.

Buckethead, what the f? Just found out about this guy, don't tell me he cannot play. Dude can play anything.

Eminem, this guy has a way with words. Cannot deny it.

Ladies and gentlemen there is hope for music. There are people who have talent. I do not prefer the sound; but, there is hope. Be well.

Big Man and Dinner

I mentioned that I had gone out for dinner with a friend. In fact, we had tried to invite one of his friends to go with us. He is a very big man, over 6'6", sturdy. Many find him very intimidating; but, in fact he has been nothing but calm and a pleasure to have around me. I like his ways and enjoy hearing the young man laugh when I recite some stupid stories, he likes to laugh.

I am a small man. I would not like the big guy to pound me in my head; but, just because he could would not mean that he would. In fact, I cannot imagine him intentionally hurting me. He would probably let me hit him and walk away. People see big men and get nervous, not because of the big man, because of themselves.

A few months back there was a birthday party at my house for my young friend that I went to dinner with. Someone had too much to drink and started a problem. My large friend was unhappy with the situation, he never raised his voice nor did anything. Before had a chance me and two young men had the problem person in the house and I had locked the metal door to my backyard faster than anyone could move. My large friend was locked out. We removed the problem and everything was fine.

Much later my large friend mentioned how he was surprised how quickly I had locked everyone out and removed the problem. He had intended to respect me and my house and remove the problem himself. I like him. Some young men still know how to act at a party and how to be calm and quiet.

The large man has been to my house many times and is always a pleasure. If you are a smaller man, sometimes people wish to test you. The exact same thing happens to bigger men. There are actually idiots who will tell professional boxers that they are not that tough, they are that tough. Most of them just don't feel a need to prove it.

There are some people that when they walk in the room know they own it. It is a confidence based on experience. They know they can handle anything that happens. There are other people who can handle any thing; but, don't have the confidence. They don't know their own abilities. Insecurity is developed over years. Confidence is also built over years, proven track records.

Sorry, my mind has attached to something and I cannot finish this post. Memories sometimes come to me and I must figure them out. Hope you are having a fantastic weekend, I am. Good food, good friends and peace. You don't get that every weekend. Oooohhh and I get to sleep in late. Be well.

Rosh Hashanah and Genesis 22

Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year. On the second day of the celebration they read from Genesis 22. It is the story of when God told Abraham to sacrifice his son. Abrahan takes his son to a mountain, prepares an alter and is about to sacrifice him when God stops him.

The story is often used by non-believers to show that God called for Abraham to sacrifice his son. This misses the point and shows a lack of understanding of what is being explained. Many religions in those days called for sacrificing ones children to the "Gods" and it was a common practice. Abraham was not surprised by God's request because he did not know God well, he assumed it was a God who wanted sacrifices like the ones he was familiar with.

Many commentators on the bible use the story of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son to show his faithfulness, that is a mistake. God does not call for blind obedience. God stopped Abraham from sacrificing his son; but, I believe what he really wanted was for Abraham to refuse to do so. When he did not, God stopped him. Clearly God did not want Isaac sacrificed to him, as evidenced by the fact that he did stop Abraham.

The story is meant to show Abraham and us that God does not wish us to sacrifice people to him. It is meant to show that the true God does not want us to act as the barbarians did who lived in the world at that time. At least that is my take on the story.

Have a Great Holiday Weekend

I am going to get some barbecue. A friend and I are going to have some fun. Hope you do the same.

UPDATE

Well our little trip was fun. I have a young friend, about 27, he and I had been discussing restaurants that I liked in Los Angeles. We are both into cooking. We had decided to get out of the house and go to one of my restaurants.

The restaurants we had considered included Hop Louie's in Chinatown (been there forever and the staff are just marvelous), Moonshadows in Malibu (great ambiance and fantastic view of the ocean), Brent's Deli in the San Fernando Valley (their food is so good that they get calls from San Diego for deliveries and they do it), The Smokehouse near Universal Studios (old school, high class, great food) and My Brothers Restaurant in Woodland Hills (Since 1957, the best barbecue you never heard of) and Frohman's in Santa Monica (it's all about the brisket and pickles. The Brisket is shaved and tender and soft and delectable).

This morning we decided to make it My Brother's Restaurant, so off we went. We drove about 65 miles for this meal. Before going to the restaurant we stopped of at the Topanga Mall now named something else. I lived in Woodland Hills and love it, home. We walked through the mall and I didn't know the place anymore. But I knew some of it's history.

The Topanga Plaza was the first fully enclosed mall. In addition, it was built specially and was part of the civil defense program in the early 1960s, it had stuff down below. It was built at a time when children were taught to duck and cover in the event of a nuclear bomb. Duck and cover so you can more easily kiss your rear goodbye. It has been fully renovated and I know longer know the place.

My generation, me, we were the first kids to have a mall. Hard to believe. There was no mall culture, we started it. My friends and I and others in the valley started a lot of stuff like dirt bikes and skateboards. The hippies flocked to the valley and to my beloved, Topanga Canyon. I remember driving the canyon and seeing hippie girls selling candles and flowers. It is not just a movie for me, it is a memory.

When I was young my mother would take us to the Topanga Mall. My favorite was when she would take us to May Company to sit on the balcony overlooking the store and have an open faced turkey sandwich with mashed potatoes and the best gravy. Man, that was making it big time. I miss my mother and father. They were good parents and very loving. So many are gone from my life.

Life is a strange journey. You make plans and then life happens. Your plans work out; but, the world does not. Other people make plans too. Today's plan worked out. We walked through the mall and all the young girls flirted with my friend. He loved it. I on the other hand was apparently oogled by some guy. Maybe he thought we were gay. After getting a drink (Perrier with Lime) we left to go to the restaurant.

My Brothers Barbecue is memories for me and quite tasty. Scent is a great memory trigger, the hickory smoke smell mixed with beef is a trigger for my memory. I remembered how, if we were very lucky, my mother would send us to get some of their wonderful food. If she did it was usually a Friday. We would eat are food and watch "Kolchak" or some other quality show. I used to like television.

UPDATE

Sorry kids. Spent the night discussing music with my friend who went to the restaurant. He knows things and we enjoy music together. Be well.

Wake Up Europe

Europe no longer believes in God, at least not the natives. Some countries in Europe that were traditionally Christian have no more than 11% Christians. Europe sought to be secular. They are, almost.

Europe has allowed millions of Muslims into their countries. Here is a video of what has happened in France. Muslims closing French streets.

Muslims want Islamic law for all of England.

Europe has no response to it's being culturally changed because they no longer believe in anything themselves. The problem is not the Muslims, it is Europe's failure to believe in anything. Europe cannot win a cultural war if they have no beliefs to counter what is coming at them. If you believe in nothing, you cannot stand up for anything. Nature abhors a vaccum.

I see my therapist tomorrow

Hi (that is to my therapist). I see him tomorrow. I like him. I know he knows my blog address. I gave it to him. He is not a follower, you cannot find him. I like him.

The rest of you are also my therapists. LOL. A therapist is someone who listens to your nonsense and asks you questions. The questions are the art of therapy. It is about getting you to see what you are feeling. I have no problem with that. That is why I still see him, always nice to have a check point. It is the things we don't say to others that get us in trouble.

I hope I find that my therapist and his family are doing well when I see him. I hope he tells me that I am not insane, he has so far. I hope we have a discovery, something in my head that I need to deal with. I hope I make his day enjoyable. I like my therapist. Be well.

Science Lies Again

How do you know a scientist is trying to lie to you, he writes and article. LMAO. It is now being said that we are about to have a mass extinction of species. We will begin by pointing out that this is garbage, their ability to predict mass extinction. That is a complete lie.

Scientists have concluded that there is no way to tell which species will survive regardless of how diverse the number of species are. That is the big lie. Survival is not based on the number of species; but, is instead based on the diversity WITHIN each given species. We have discussed this before, it is called outliers, freaks like me.

I have five times what is considered highly dangerous of triglycerides, I have 50% more red blood cells than is considered normal. Combine it and you get 180/150 blood pressure. My blood is thicker than oil, rofl. I am an outlier. I would survive if the oxygen level in the atmosphere dropped, most would not. Triglycerides are brain food, I would still function, most would not. I am not saying that such a thing will happen, I am discussing freaks and their necessity.

The species that survive the greatest changes have the greatest diversity. That is the answer and always has been. How much diversity can you live with and how much is moral? Remember the idiot that wanted to kill people at the Discovery Channel building, he didn't get it. We are nature too. He wanted to kill a species to save the others, that is to play God, he does not know which is meant to survive by nature. He argued for nature and was unwilling to live by it's rules. Nature is a process, not a place, it takes care of itself, including dealing with the likes of us.

I respect plants and animals including us. Nature will determine the future of us all, we should not attempt to play God and decide for it. How can a scientist disagree with that? How can they attempt to deny that we are part of nature? They would let cows evolve into intelligent beings but not us evolve. Why are they so afraid of us evolving? Because in the next phase we understand. Perhaps, if my audience is nice, I will explain this someday. We do not discover that we are all God, I am not and you are not. We did not create the universe.

Didn't know I would post again tonight. Was thinking of more pleasant things. Oh well, it happens that way sometimes. We let our minds wander and come upon things, I just have to write about them, it is my nature.

Burquas and Mickey Mouse

Okay, a Disneyland employee who is Muslim wanted to wear a Muslim head scarf. I know that I said before that I was outraged that European countries wanted to outlaw certain clothes that Muslim women wear. If you expect me to take the same position on Disneyland you would be wrong.

I want to remind you that the media is leading to the answers that it wants and this why the reporting is timed the way it is. If you go to work for Disneyland you are told that you are all actors playing a role. If you don't want to wear the costume, don't take the job. Disneyland has costumes, not a dress code, costumes.

If I choose to join a company that has a requirement for my position, I choose to follow the dress code TO A DEGREE. Some jobs require the wearing of uniforms, this can be for many valid reasons. I want to know that the man who is coming to my house works for the gas company before he goes in my backyard. If I go to McDonalds or another place that makes food I want to know that the food is clean and healthy. Uniforms show when they are stained for a reason.

Uniforms should not be required at school because we are FORCED to go there up till a certain age. Private schools are different, it is voluntary (your parents have choice). Most jobs that indoors don't really need you to have a certain look unless you deal with the public.

I am an executive and rarely wear a tie. I don't often meet with the public. I wear a suit and keep ties in my office in case I have to go before elected officials or meet with the public. Clothes can serve many purposes. Sometimes they tell a story.

I know a very wealthy man with whom I do business. When I meet with him it is usually at a restaurant or his office. When I do meet with him I have to drive quite a distance and don't usually go to the office. On those days I wear a Hawaiian shirt, khakis and tennis shoes. He also dresses casually. Our dress signifies that we are being casual and open with one another.

On one occasion he had failed to meet a personal promise, it was a handshake deal that was to be formalized between our organizations at a later date. It did not matter, he broke his word. We had an agreement, not a contract. The agreement was between him and I, the contract was to be between our organizations. He had three choices and I said I would support any of them, no pressure. He picked. Because he picked I began adjusting my organizations position. When he changed his mind he had wasted my time, broke a trust and failed to remember that my word is my bond.

For a series of reasons he concluded that the original agreement was best for all. I believed the original agreement was best for all; but, I had a dilemma, I could not trust his word as much. He asked to meet and for me to consider going back to the original agreement. I told my assistant that I was going to wear a suit on that day and that it would be the first thing that the man would ask about. I explained to my assistant the reason behind my clothing and how it can help to say things without forcing people into taking a position.

My assistant, who reads this, thought I was wrong and was making too much up of something simple. We arrived at the man's office and the first words out of his mouth was to ask about my wearing the suit. Real business deals are made between two people in a casual setting, golf course, tennis court, restaurant, whatever. They are made in a casual setting because it lets the negotiations be casual and not place people in positions that cause animosity or all or nothing thinking.

I cannot go golfing with businessmen, I work for the government. Because of this I have to convey a sense of casualness in other ways, I do it with my clothing. I have given away a secret, oh my. Even though I work for the government, private industry has always appreciated my directness and willingness to stick by my word and be fair. I have been offered many jobs in private industry because of this. Everyone knows I will do what is best for my organization, my home, my City. I have never taken the jobs.

I have a call center under me. I don't care what they wear as long as it is not provocative. They sit in little cubicles answering calls all day, they are not seen by the public. We are looking at when dress codes are appropriate, how about when they have a reasonable purpose? What a thought. How bout not when I am forced to be in a situation? I am not forced to be in jail, that requires some action on my part.

The young boy, that I used to call my son-in-law until he corrected me, has tattoos and piercings. He worked at a bank. He wore clothes that allowed him to hide most, if not all, of his tattoos and removed his piercings during his working hours. I do not like tattoos or piercings; but, believe in his right to have them. I would not hire an assistant who had them.

I was Navy ROTC and Coast Guard certified by 13. I love Polynesia, it has always been special in my heart. I especially have had a love affair with Tahiti. I fell in love with the paintings of Gauguin. I studied Polynesia, my professor wanted me to become "the expert"; but, it was from love not a career. When I had traveled half the world I got a earring in my right ear. It was in recognition of having traveled half the world, no longer a polliwog.

The man I spoke about earlier who is very rich, he is old school and has over a thousand people who owe their jobs to him. He is accustomed to saying what he thinks and discussing with his employees their dress code. I do not work for him. I am very traditional in many ways, personal ways. When I came back from Hawaii, where I got my piercing the old fashioned way, the people who knew me were shocked. It was just a small gold ball; but, they figured I was trying to be younger because they did not understand my background.

Well, I met with the man who I spoke of and while we were talking he just kept turning to look at my left ear (right ear piercings have traditionally meant homosexual, left ear piercings were navy). I eventually removed my earring for religious beliefs. If not for my religious beliefs I would get old school Polynesian tattoos on my legs, that will surprise many people who know me. I would have it done the traditional way in Tahiti, it would take a month and hurt more than you can imagine. You might want to look it up.

You cannot have certain jobs in the military or intelligence if you have tattoos because they identify you. When the police arrest you, they photograph any tattoos for a reason. They also photograph scars. I do not have many scars, I heal very well. I have one and only one that will not go away. It is in the middle of my forehead where your "third eye" should be, where East Indians put the dot, I have had it since I was about four. I split my head open after being pushed down a hill into a brick column, square brick column and hit the corner. It looks like a tiny dimple at 50, it used to look like a five sided star.

We were talking about why I wouldn't hire an assistant who had tattoos or piercings. That is easy, because it gives away what you are thinking. When I meet someone in a business setting, we need time to trust each other, to develop our relationship. In Poker, we look for "tells", little movements that say what you have in your hand. Same thing in negotiations. I have many people that work for me; but, I only ever have one "assistant". It is the person who is allowed to go to negotiations with me. There are rules. Rule one is don't talk until we know we are on the same page. Tattoos are talking. When I wear a Hawaiian shirt to a negotiation, I am talking, when I wear a suit, I am talking.

I began by talking about Disneyland and ended up discussing my assistant, it all goes together. It is okay to have religious beliefs, it is okay to wear all kinds of clothes, it is okay to get tattoos if it is not against your beliefs; but, for all these choices come consequences. Sometimes they are appropriate, other times they are not. We should look beyond the obvious to the reasons. Are the reasons compelling or merely convenience? That is important. Be well, I hope you enjoyed this little post. First time I have felt it flow in a bit. Thanks for the opportunity to be heard.

Sorry, quick UPDATE. I have to thank my ex-wife for something. She was the one who taught me about clothes. She told me that men get angry and get in a fight, women, she said, figure out what they are going to wear and how to set the scene. She was naked and had just come out of the shower when she said she wanted a divorce. She never looked at me, she looked in the mirror, it was as I was leaving for work. Can you figure out what she was attempting to say, she was the one that taught me. She said it right after I kissed the back of her neck to head to work.